When I was young, if we wanted to listen to music we used to turn a knob on a Medium Wave radio and it used to croak out music at a pitch of its choice depending on which direction the antenna was pointing to. If it didn’t produce sound, we whacked it on its head and music promptly followed. Life is not that simple these days. They invented this equipment called “Receiver.”
It took them a lot more research to find a problem that is solved by the Receiver. If you have a lot of audio/video players that want to share the same goddamn speakers, you need a Receiver. In other words, a Receiver is a piece of equipment which accepts input from several audio/video sources and outputs nothing. It is an Entertainment device. Most of the entertainment is derived while setting it up. This is how it went for me.
When we bought our receiver a year ago, the first thing I did was to study the back of the receiver carefully. It took me half an hour to figure out that I was holding it up side down. Not that it made much sense the right side up. For the curious, the backside of the receiver looks somewhat like this:
After an hour of writhing under the sofas, shoving speakers in every corner of the house and inhaling a few pounds of dust, all I achieved was clean living room floor that I inadvertently cleaned with my undershirt when I crawled around the room on my belly. Oh yes, I got all the connections done too. For the grand finale, I played my favorite CD. Then I heard it. The crystal clear sound of silence, in Dolby 5.1 surround. Nothing. Not a peep. Nothing was there to speak for my hard work other than the clean floor.
Not the one to give up, I went to work checking the connections. I heard a whirring sound. “Yes! There is sound!” I told myself. Didn’t matter what sound. I jumped out to see where it was coming from. It was coming from the running power drill, which was carelessly left around, in the hands of our 3 year old son who explained to me that he was trying to help. If Wife sees him with it, the power drill privileges will be taken away. From me. After the power drill was returned to safety (under the couch), I got back to work.
Then, putting professional contortionists to shame, I snaked myself into the tiny gap between the entertainment center and the wall into a wild forest of open electric wires, spiky tools and broken light bulbs. When I explained the mortal hazard of my situation to Wife, she asked me to get the toys the Kid threw in that gap when I was done. The risk I took partly paid off. I got the toys out. No sound though. I halted the work for the night. I vowed to get back to it at daybreak.
Later that night, Wife handed me an unfamiliar object sealed in a plastic bag. She pleaded with me, “Please read the user manual. It might help.” Just to make her happy, I did read the manual, which has absolutely no useful information.
The next morning I took another swing at taming the beast. In a stroke of brilliance, it suddenly occurred to me what I was doing wrong. Within seconds everything was working! It was just an unfortunate juxtaposition of events that an amazing clarity of thought dawned on me followed by my reading of the user manual. But the argument about it never ceases at home.
Oh my God….ROFL……Literally!
Thanks buddy
LOL!!! awesome dude
ROFLMAO!
whaat was it that you were doing wrong? woh to batao….
Thank you for reminding me a beautiful Mukesh song. (Pardon my Hindi):
woh to bata kaun ho tum, kaun ho tum
mujhse puche bina dil me aane lage
meethi najron se bijli giraane lage
(And thank you for helping me evade the question by quoting a random song)
I can vouch for this. It is easier to dismantle this thing than mantle it. The behind of my entertainment center has always been a wired jungle. Whenever you want to turn off a particular device it is like diffusing a bomb, which wire should I pull! So I just gave up and turn off the whole damn set by turning off the power surge! And sometimes, I find wires in the back with both ends not connected to anything! It helps to read the Manual, although I would call it Manovel! Hilarious Pic, loved it!
Whenever you want to turn off a particular device it is like diffusing a bomb
ROLF!
And sometimes, I find wires in the back with both ends not connected to anything
I find them all the time, didn’t know where they came from. I think I cracked the mystery. See, when left alone in darkness, these unscrupulous wires, reproduce.
Absolutely hilarious post! Just couldn’t stop laughing at the figure…an input for detonator, ha ha ha….
Keep writing!
Ya, there is a button on the remote too
Hilarious! Apart from the kid’s toys, I have till date recovered buttons, lost hairclips, one blue and one grey socks, ballpen refills, torn slippers, spoons, padlock keys, 5 rupee coins, bottle caps and pencil batteries among other such interesting articles from under the sofa / bed. I have become so adept at such searches that might even call myself Underneath Explorer ver. 7.0 ™
Your experience reinforces my faith in ‘manual’labour
Cheers!
5 rupee coins
I told you, it does pay!
I have become so adept at such searches
I see a lucrative part-time job in your future
‘manual’labour
LOL. Reading the manual definitely is
LOL.. To my arms matey!!
I strongly feel there is someone out there still trying to ‘build’ my character and patience and what not!
Why is it that we all *HATE* manuals? Why, a cursory glance at any Nokia manual hands out so much of new info! (Did you know that pressing the # key for a while changes it from ‘general’ to ’silent’? Me neither. Until my 4th Nokia phone’s manual came in handy)
And this always happens to me too – and I hold Murphy responsible for this – anytime I get something new and excite myself to radioactive levels, it ALWAYS ends a damp squib. EVERY single thing I have got in life has NEVER worked on day 1!
And not (just) cos of my not reading the manual
Why is it that we all *HATE* manuals?
I don’t hate manuals! I don’t mind going out to a drink or something with. I just don’t want to read it.
anytime I get something new and excite myself to radioactive levels, it ALWAYS ends a damp squib
Wait until you get married. (OK, OK kidding! People, don’t kill me)
I strongly feel there is someone out there still trying to ‘build’ my character and patience and what not!
ROFL! Not to sound cynical or anything but the entire life is a character building exercise until one dies.
Ha ha ha ha! LOL! This is hilarious! Quarters only, eh? Ha ha ha ha!
Quarters only
The user manual makes it clear that it accepts presidential dollars too.
I wonder why the user manual would help? I always assumed it was a free coaster the company gave as a thanks for buying the product. Things were so simple before this moment.
I always assumed it was a free coaster the company gave
LOL. Ya, multiple coasters actually, given that now you get user manuals in all languages on Earth.
Things were so simple before this moment.
You should at least read the manuals for the funny warnings. “Don’t use the hair dryer on sensitive parts of the body” and so on.
But why are you all so wired I say?
Now you guys know what it feels for us (lafemmes) to open our car hoods and see the mess of wires when our cars go kaput and AAA say they will be there in less than say 1000000000000 minutes!
The wife will know!!
I already know how it feels like. I feel that every time I open a cook-book
Quoting you-
She pleaded with me, “Please read the user manual. It might help.” …
clarity of thought dawned on me followed by my reading of the user manual.–
How dare you do anything without asking your wife? !!!
How dare you do anything without asking your wife?
I do *everything* after asking her! I ask permission even to ask permission
The backside of the receiver is just rocking .. lol, the highlight being ‘ neighbour’s woofer’.
Thank you
ROFL! that pic was kickass
Yes, the receiver did kick my ass:)
I dont think anyone over 16 is capable of installing anything. Luckily my son is just the age, and I hand over the things to be installed, configured whatever and enjoy.
and I hand over the things to be installed
May be I should borrow him
That is absolutely hilarious! And true. I’m fourteen, and I installed my Home Theater a couple of years ago. It wasn’t much of a problem, but I too had a clean floor.
1] That image was totally ROFL. Speakers leading to underground, neighbour, restroom, nothing, anything::awesome.
2] Which company did that “entertainment system” belong to?
3] I’m tweeting this. twitter.com/crystalunicorn
I’m fourteen
Ya, I used to do things my parents coudln’t figure out at that age
That image was totally ROFL
Thanks bud
Which company did that “entertainment system” belong to?
It’s Harmon Kardon
I’m tweeting this
I am glad you listened to my post
Haha…lived through it. It’s even worse when you’re a girl and everyone expects you to screw up regardless. Granted, we generally suck at anything electronic, but it just takes us one call to get sweet-talk a customer service dude into coming home and set up the whole thing for us
Haha. That is a gift some people have – getting customer service people to actually help! I apparently have the opposite of the gift, a gift to turn the most nice customer service people into unhelpful and clueless gits.
Extremely hilarious post. The diagram was very creative.
“It is an Entertainment device. Most of the entertainment is derived while setting it up”, “The crystal clear sound of silence, in Dolby 5.1 surround.” – lol
Reminded me of the following joke –
During the French Revolution a priest, a lawyer and a technician were lined up at the guillotine to be beheaded. They were given the choice to look up or to look facing down in the guillotine.
The priest said, “Well Heaven is up, so I’ll look up, so I can see where I’m going.” They placed the Priest in the guillotine facing up and released the blade. The blade stopped just inches from the priest, so they let him go, thinking it was a miracle.
The lawyer thought, “Well if it worked for the priest, it might work for me,” so they placed him in the guillotine looking up. They released the blade, and it stopped just inches from the lawyer, who claimed he can’t be executed twice for the same crime, so they let him go.
The technician thought, “Well why not?” So they put him in the guillotine looking up, and the technician said, “Wait a minute! If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work.”
Keep them coming.
Cheers,
Salil
Thanks for the laugh. That’s a good joke. I guess we technical people have a knack for sticking our heads on the chopping block
AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA ROFL like literally!
Glad that my ROFMC is ROFL for you. (Rolling on the floor making connections)
whacking still helps…
just in case you were wondering
“whacking still helps…”
Please specify the recipient of the whack. Women readers might assume it’s the husband.
Hi TD,
Long time reader, first time poster.
That’s a sissy-receiver. I’m guessing you haven’t seen this, eh?
http://www.audioholics.com/images/txnr1000_rear_300.jpg
Cheers.
Satya
I am sure the back cover of the contraption doubles as a pasta strainer.
Wondering why you did not “whack the receiver on its head” for desired effect? If it worked for an old radio, should work for the fancy receiver right?
Whacking the receiver!! That is most expensive thing I ever bought (other than the cars)! I kicked my son out of his bed and gave it to the receiver until I found a place for it. It’s that precious
I could associate with this.
One time I had installed my TV, DVD player and Sound system all fixed in a single furniture unit, after a days research & hard work. The next day wife started to modify the furniture and everything had to be dismantled.
Managing Wire & wife is necessary to face the music or avoid facing it…whatever is applicable
haha! Rearranging the furniture.. I share your pain buddy. It’s like Murphy’s law. It rains the next day you clean the car. In the same way, wife decides to rearrange everything the day you wired the speakers.
Thank God u posted again! i was beginning to get really bored with life. Yes, i did LOL in office.. yes, it IS a brilliant post, and u shld wear the shirt you wore while writing this one, more often. I’ve heard it has some connection with inspiration.. the clothes you wear.
OK, that shld tell u how bored i have been in the gap that you did not post.
Even my friends love ur blog now!
He he. Thank you. Nice to be missed
u shld wear the shirt you wore while writing this one
Assumptions, assumptions!
I’ve heard it has some connection with inspiration.. the clothes you wear.
Ooh, there’s an idea! We should start an Inspiration line of clothing
Had a great laugh…..
Bring in more…
Had a great laugh…..
Of course. Because it’s not you who is crawling around connecting wires
Thanks
Ha haha hahaha
and you do like the rear of the receiver don’t you?
This reminds me of the cable tv connection in our place. I hounded the cable guy and threatened him that I wouldn’t pay since the reception was so crappy, and it turns out in the end that my husband had messed up with the connection with an additional wire! I watched blurred tv for 6 months and i also had to pay
I watched blurred tv for 6 months
You are completely underestimating your husband, and men in general. He *knew* what was wrong. He just wants to send you a message that you shouldn’t be complacent with mediocrity. If you had taken action 6 months ago, you could’ve saved yourself from the trouble. I am with your husband on this one. (Please tell you husband, I expect him to side with me when I need support)
Is this why people say — your wife can be right at times..listen to her!
Brilliant!
your wife can be right at times..listen to her
There is NO argument that she is right at times. We only argue what “at times” means. I think it’s 10% and she thinks it’s 90%.
Let me take a guess at what you did finally. You turned on power and it works !!!
Great guessing work…
Haha. Not that stupid but something equally bad. Parallax error
“Restroom, neighbor’s woofer,quarters only, coffee maker, hair dryer, we are still figuring out,pirated cable ,middle ear,nothing, anything”
Hahaha…
Looks like you had a “lot” of fun
Yes, as much fun a guy can have cleaning floors.
ya, well manuals are for nerds, amateurs, we don’t need them….we can figure all the buttons ourselves (pun intended)
What pun? That is the absolute truth
‘Fries anything plugged in’!!!!! ROFL… literally..
I was not kidding
I did fry some homemade speakers when I was young 
“When whacking the receiver on the head doesn’t help, try whacking the husband.” Smart wife!
While you were down on the floor fixing things, you could as well have ROFLed at the thought of this post! Nice one
g
I was sweating like a pig, crawling under a sofa where a spider family reunion was going on, twisting my arms in improbable angles to place the wires in right holes, while trying to shout my lungs out at the kid not to open the recliner of the sofa which will ensure he can never ever have a sibling – you won’t believe it but I was actually thinking I gotta post this!
Simply mindblowing hilarious! You have an amazing gift for bringing out humour out of the most frustrating situations. And that pic of the receiver should receive the Oscars equivalent for humor!
I guess I will have to thank the academy now!
Thank you:)
tdna:
somewhere along the line, it looks like you were trying to rtfm. i have a question. if you rtfm, how will it improve your other skills?
- s.b.
Not sure about other skills but if one RTMFs (that is reads a f***ing manual), one is bound to get good at it
THE FIGURE WAS GODAWESOME! COULD’NT STOP LAUGHING ON FRIES ANYTHING PLUGGED IN.
and i have no idea why men dont read manuals! its not like they’ve learnt everything in nursery while we women were learning abc’s….
Yes we did. We learned everything in kindergarten while you women were making lists of what books to read for ABCs and on which shelf those ABC books look good
Tell me wht is it with u guys & the user manual! Y can’t u just read it & utilise the rest of the time to say vacum the house/run the dishwasher/washing machine?:)
Mrinalini – u gave away the answer yourself!
I couldn’t have said it better than Anon Again!
ROFL @ Anon Again
hahahahahaha!
good one! @Anon Again
Hilarious…I just saw the picture as well!!
Thank you Ekta. I am still waiting to see the picture on my TV routed through the receiver
lol! Neat work on that picture.
Thanks R
You anyway know about my legendary photoshop skills that get put to use for completely useless things 
OMG, this could be a slice of my life! atleast you took the proverbial bull by the horns and ensured that you installed it. I’ve lost count of the “cool gadgets” that my hubby buys and then it takes a combination countless hints, threats, and not so subtle nagging to get him to install it, even then the attempts are usually futile. Case in point airport express bought in Jan this year, date of installation : yet unknown.
Keep the posts coming!
Case in point airport express bought in Jan this year
Just like good wine, good access point needs to age
I don’t get it. You complain if the husband doesn’t install them. You complain if he tries to install it and renders it completely useless in the process. There is no pleasing you!
You may want to check this link out:
http://mitraditi.blogspot.com/search/label/Nonsense%20-%20Funny
Thank you Praveen for the link. I am speechless. I can’t believe so many of my articles have been stolen and mutilated like that. I am assuming the person who copied the articles does not know that the content is copyrighted. I sent a note requesting the removal. Let’s see what happens.
Update: As I suspected, the author of that blog didn’t know about the copyright. She promptly removed the reproduced content upon request.
Oh, is it?!
I was jus tryin to see what it was and the blog itself is down now!
You must have frightened her!
so reaing the manual did help right ??
LoLz
was the receiver China/India made?? i noticed a pirated product socket as well…woohoo!!
hilarious in true Twisted fashion. albeit wires and all. don’t listen to wifey, you cracked it all on your own man!
ps: if i connected each end of a wire to the ‘detonator’ and the ‘neighbor’s woofer’ would that mean kaabooooom for Mr Rao upstairs??
Really really good.. Funny!
I lived the picture
Anything , nothing and neighbour’s woofer were hilarious.
And its a very male thing isnt it? not reading the manual
**she asked me to get the toys the Kid threw in that gap when I was done.**
I tell you the women know what is priority. If you had just asked her, she would have solved the situation and given u the manual much earlier…you could have heard music all through the night lol!!!!! MEN hmmppfff
TD…today my hair dryer boinked and i got a new one. The manual said “Can get really hot”.
Another Wonderful Post!!
Looks like you are managing to squeze in more time now a says. Replyin to comments so fast!!
I patiently read through the 85 odd replies to ur post (which i never do.. i generally read a post and get the hell out) to try to figure out what is the simple thing that u were doing wrong! but in vein!
nice post… but i loved other previous posts better.. “my friend and his opinion of a wife” being one of my favorite.
i HATE stories that keep me guessing after its over!!
at least email me the reason if its something as stupid as forgetting to plug in the device..
First time reader and commentatotr. ROFL
What is it with guys not reading the manual and not asking for directions
Blogrolling you.Hope you don’t mind
user manuals arent for extra ordinary people like you!
Grrr….I actually made this comment last week, it never got published!!
Aiammo !!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
first time here…liked your estyle of writing !!!! hilarious!!!!
and loved that pic !!!!
Colleague told me about your blog and came by & you are a funny guy!!! Should be fun meeting you
))
All you bloggers are such fun funny people. She is a hilarious person herself!! lol
It was hilarious, just like sick fun
Keep rocking, keep writing
Me likes
Happy to have discovered your blog
hahahahaha… rofl at Middle year in the speakers slot
Where have disappeared? Its high rime for a new post…
waiting eagerly…
damn this is super hilarious… keep it comin… i m bookmarking ur blog
Waiting for new post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As usual, great !!….nothing to say now…as everybody has spoken just about everything
Hey man,
this was hilarious. I could see myself in this story…..very well written. This is the first time im dropping by here…..now will do so more….
Rajesh Ramaswamy
Hilarious!!! Loved every bit.
Blog-hopped my way here.
Waiting to read more.
Lol. Hahaha. It is highly likely that your user manual aided subconcious solved the problem. So your missus is right
Im a chick though, so Im biased by default. Haha.
LOL..I can never again look at radio again without smirking!
Love the jpeg.
Sheer genius, that.
Hey… all well? u have not updated ur blog in a long time…
LOL as usual
:)
Keshi.
Reading the user manual? That’s tantamount to surrender isn’t it? V Funny
Been a while since you wrote anything and been a while we laughed so much
why have you stopped writing???? you write so well!!! wonderful!! a day happily spent!
I dunno which part was sad… u getting no sound or me getting everything in the diag… u shud have done engg… everything makes sense now…
PS: did u check if the power button was plugged in??
I dunno which part was sad… u getting no sound or me getting everything in the diag… u shud have done engg… everything makes sense now…
PS: did u check if the main power cable was plugged in??
awesome posts!
btw, i njoyd readng ur replies to the comments more!
write more!u r much in demand!
TD, please get back to your writing. we’d love to read your posts. happy holidays
TD, we’re hoping to hear back from you soon. wishing u all the best in the coming new year…
HILARIOUS Picture, man! I’m 17 and doing engineering where we have a workshop class including wiring (although why it’s included in a course for Biotechnology, God only knows), so now my family expects me to be the in-house technician…
Keep posting, I’m something of a fan now!
Cound not stop LOL. Such things do happen at our homes too and the best part is hubby still wants to keep doing without even hitting the manual once.
cmon…wen r u gonna update!!!
I have such an experience, where i took little longer..err..about a week to do it right way.strange enough i developed a liking for the simple stereo sound of the television speaker while trying to get the 5.1 Dolby working.That affection still sails along.
Hey TD where HV u bn? i jus realized its bn almost a yr since u put up a post! wat gives?