There was this interesting “Chuck Norris” theme going on Twitter today. This is my contribution. I didn’t have much time to come up with this so this is all I can manage. (If you don’t know Chuck Norris, you can replace Chuck Norris with Rajnikanth. It makes equal sense)
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need a gun because he can reach the enemy faster
- Chuck Norris won the San Francisco marathon. He started in New York.
- Chuck Norris was delivered via C-Section. He performed it himself
- Chuck Norris pops bubble wrap with his gun
- Chuck Norris is not above the Law. He is the Law
- When Chuck Norris wants ice, he makes it hail
- Baby Chuck Norris didn’t eat Gerber mashed foods. He crushed his own apples
- Chuck Norris never used braces. He straightened his teeth with his tongue
- Chuck Norris uses a lawn mower to shave
- Chuck Norris will tell you if the oven is hot enough by touching it
- When ToysRUs advertises a walker for toddlers, they specify they mean no disrespect the Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris
- f nothing can move faster than light how do you explain Chuck Norris’ guns coming out of holster
- Chuck Norris doesn’t like to handle diamonds because he keeps accidentally crushing them
- Chuck Norris can impregnate a woman on a long distance phone call
- To calm down Chuck Norris when he was a toddler, his mom used to play The Sopranos
- When Chuck Norris wants a mobile phone, he carries around a cell tower
- Chuck Norris doens’t need a gun because he can throw the bullets faster
- Snake bite is a common cause of death near Chuck Norris’ house. He bites a lot of snakes
- In their wilderness survival classes, Mountain lions learn how to identify Chuck Norris
- When Chuck Norris walks into a bar and says “The usual”, bartender shoots a bunch of people
