Electronic cheating machines

As we know, anything is fair in elections and war.  There are rumors that Republicans are planning widespread electronic voting machine tampering so that the voting machines “help” the voter make the “right” choice.  For people who are planning to vote for Obama, the following sample ballot scenarios may help you to be better prepared for the polling booths.

64 Responses to “Electronic cheating machines”


  1. 1 Srikanth

    Did you involve in creating that machine? :)

  2. 2 Divya

    I don’t quite think the McCain chap (or his camp for that matter) are smart enough to do this stuff. If you sign up for being their campaign manager, this should be your sure-shot chance at not only winning a jackpot but (who knows!) even a Senate ticket ;)
    Wow! Very smart!

  3. 3 Gnightgirl

    lol. Another winner; you crack me up.

  4. 4 Jira

    Hilarious..ROFL :)

  5. 5 Chutney

    You should check out the Indian electronic voting machines, you have to like sit on the buttons if you wanna make it work. :D

    Brilliance, as always. I’ve been stalking your blog for a long time and this is the first time I’m leaving a comment :)

  6. 6 Abhinav

    Hahaha.. saw one similar in Simpsons!!

  7. 7 radhika

    That’s a scary scenario.
    I so want Obama to win. May I bribe you? :)

  8. 8 Kokonad

    Ha ha, that was funny!! :))

  9. 9 La Vida Loca

    nice! i had fun selecting mccain over n over…its the obvious choice

  10. 10 maxdavinci

    ROFL, on teh other hand a newspaper declared Obama as the winner…
    http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/10/27/obama-wins-newspaper-declares/

    This election is gathering so much steam that even the desi media is going gaga over it with 30min election specials!

  11. 11 Sarath

    he he he,, that was hilarious, good one.. You ought to take this proof to the Court of law to indict Mccain..

  12. 12 Anamika

    Awesome !!

    Love your blog.

  13. 13 Dinesh

    ROFL Stuff. Very cool, especially the chinese one. You could also add one more, Photographs of McCain and Obama. Once you click on Obama, he pulls out a flesh mask like in Mission impossible and becomes McCain. McCain removes the mask and becomes Sarah Palin :)

  14. 14 zanychild

    HAHAHAHA!
    ROFL
    But then I guess McCain supporters would not have these brains to tamper the machine so badly!
    And don’t ever let this blog be read by an Indian Politician! They will sell anything to you, including our country for making our politicians win by asking you to tamper the already poor voting machines of India!

  15. 15 Whacky

    LMAO..
    yeah yeah read teh news article that its actually happening
    and it was West Viriginia
    http://wvgazette.com/News/200810180251?page=1&build=cache

  16. 16 gauri

    What’s all the noise about? You click on the name of the candidate, it tells you who you voted for, life goes on! :-| Alright, alright…before you accuse me of something apPALINg…

    This is OUTRAGEOUS, nda! And well timed too :)

    I sincerely hope desis with US passport have been registered to vote…and more importantly, exercise it.

    Fingers crossed,
    -g

  17. 17 sthitapragnya

    ROFL!! What desperation!!
    You should have used Palin as a bait too, as one of the ballots. People like me won’t even look for Obama’s name. :P

  18. 18 Chevalier

    Considering Obama’s past history of stealing elections, incl vs. Alice Palmer and even now vs. Hillary Clinton in the primaries, I’m actually more terrified for McCain.

    And considering how good the Democratic party seems to be with rigging caucuses this year, they should now have enough experience to rig a whole National General election, no?

  19. 19 Gigi

    Chevalier - are you for real or just a troll? You are terrified for McCain! Obama stealing elections in the primaries? He won fair and square.

  20. 20 Zhu

    That’s exactly why in the old world, we vote with a pencil and a paper!

    Chevalier, your comment is not that funny. I guess I know what you will vote for… :-(

  21. 21 bookworm

    haha niice twisted-dna! very, very funny :)

    that better not be happening when I go into the polling booth on Tuesday… that’s all I’m gonna say.

  22. 22 Manish Krishnan

    Why is there no George Bush? How do they expect me to decide after giving me just 2 choices. This is ridiculous. n btw… good one ;-)

  23. 23 soham

    That was awesome ..

    Enjoyed it thoroughly !!!

  24. 24 AgonyAunt

    Loved it :) ps- Hope Obama wins anyway.

  25. 25 phoenix

    :) hilarious

  26. 26 Srikanth

    If Sarah Palin loses, I want her to be the president (of India).
    :)

  27. 27 Vijay

    Brilliant ….

  28. 28 Anisha Dutt

    ;)

  29. 29 trauma queen

    hhehee
    yupp i strongly blv mcain will win ;)
    if bush could win twice..aything is possible :P

  30. 30 Twisted DNA

    Srikanth:
    Did you involve in creating that machine?
    Lol. I may have created such systems inadvertently, but deliberately didn’t do it yet.

    If Sarah Palin loses, I want her to be the president (of India).
    Sorry she can’t do it. She will be contending in 2012. In the meanwhile she needs to produce a few more children and make sure her daughters don’t get any education or contraception so they can get pregnant. A busy hockey mom, you know.

    Divya:
    McCain chap (or his camp for that matter) are smart enough
    Oh no no! Remember Bush campaign? It was one of the smartest campaigns! McCain campaign made mistakes (read Sarah Palin) but it’s not over until Obama makes the victory speech! (Oh, well, if we remember Gore scenario, it’s not over until he swears in)

    If you sign up for being their campaign manager, this should be your sure-shot chance at not only winning a jackpot but (who knows!) even a Senate ticket
    He he. Not a bad idea, especially because, Republican Senators are going to be a rare species after this election :D

    Gnightgirl:
    lol. Another winner; you crack me up.
    Thanks Lori :) You are the only person, other than me, who uses the semicolon - that too at the appropriate place! :D

    Jira:
    Hilarious..ROFL
    Thank you :) Jira? Not bugzilla?

  31. 31 Twisted DNA

    Chutney:
    You should check out the Indian electronic voting machines, you have to like sit on the buttons if you wanna make it work
    ROFL. Actually, given the power cuts, they are only good for sitting on :)
    I’ve been stalking your blog
    I stalk you on twitter. Twit-for-tat!

    Abhinav:
    saw one similar in Simpsons!!
    I know! They always copy me even before I do it!

    radhika:
    May I bribe you?
    Sure, by promising your vote to Obama and encouraging your CA friends to vote no on prop 8 :)

    Kokonad:
    Thank you :)
    La Vida Loca:
    i had fun selecting mccain over n over…its the obvious choice
    Yes, it’s the obvious choice when there is absolutely no other choice :)

    maxdavinci:
    newspaper declared Obama as the winner…
    Yep, at the moment, they can rig the polls as much as they want… every poll points to Obama victory. Let’s hope it’s going to be that way!

    This election is gathering so much steam that even the desi media is going gaga over it with 30min election specials!
    Ya, I don’t understand that. on one hand, people and newspapers in India seem to hate USA. On the other hand they follow US news closely.

  32. 32 Twisted DNA

    Sarath:
    Thank you :)
    You ought to take this proof to the Court of law to indict Mccain
    (melodramatic tone) The court of people will deliver a crushing judgment on McCain.

    BTW, do you realize that you are only one letter away from Sarah (Palin)? :P
    Anamika:
    Thank you :)

    Dinesh:
    Once you click on Obama, he pulls out a flesh mask
    You are total techie eh :D I am actually worried that if McCain wins, he is going to pull the mask and show that he is in fact Bush!

    zanychild:
    But then I guess McCain supporters would not have these brains to tamper the machine so badly
    Well, not everybody in the camp are like Palin :D
    And don’t ever let this blog be read by an Indian Politician!
    Tampering in India won’t be this subtle. They will post two hefty guys at the polling stations and they will click the right choice for you :D

    Whacky:
    Ya, it is happening. That’s what gave me the idea for the post :)

  33. 33 Twisted DNA

    gauri:
    What’s all the noise about? You click on the name of the candidate, it tells you who you voted for, life goes on!
    You almost nailed it except for the life goes on part. Life will suck, that’s all :)
    something apPALINg…
    OK, I hand over my worst-punster crown to you (See my reply to Chutney)

    I sincerely hope desis with US passport have been registered to vote…and more importantly, exercise it.
    How exactly would one exercise a passport? Bow-flex for passport? :P

    sthitapragnya:
    You should have used Palin as a bait too, as one of the ballots. People like me won’t even look for Obama’s name.
    He he, I seriously thought about it! No no, I am not just taking your idea and running with it (I won’t do it so publicly you know). I thought of a scenario where once you chose obama, Sarah Palin starts playing the flute and at the bottom we ask to confirm the selection. User, obviously distracted, would miss it. Didn’t have time to do it. I am rusty with Flash and it was taking too long :)

    Chevalier:
    Considering Obama’s past history of stealing elections, incl vs. Alice Palmer and even now vs. Hillary Clinton in the primaries, I’m actually more terrified for McCain.
    First of all, if you look at the current poll numbers, Obama doesn’t need to steal votes. He practically stole the election.
    Secondly, my therapist tells me I am not emotionally ready to talk about Bush and Florida votes in 2000.
    Thirdly, if you want to get dirty about our political preferences, be informed that I am ready to remind you Chevalier is the name of famous French cross-dresser

    Gigi:
    I don’t think chevalier is being serious

    Zhu:
    That’s exactly why in the old world, we vote with a pencil and a paper!
    It would be nice to be able to vote electronically.. but we need to perfect the system first.

    I guess I know what you will vote for
    I don’t think he will vote. He will write a sarcastic rant about Obama on the ballot :)

  34. 34 Twisted DNA

    bookworm:
    Thank you miss :)
    that better not be happening when I go into the polling booth on Tuesday
    Permanent absentee ballot is the way to go :)

    Manish Krishnan:
    Why is there no George Bush?
    Lol. You don’t need Bush. Voting for McCain is voting for Bush… don’t you watch SNL :)

    soham:
    Glad you enjoyed it :) Thank you for taking time to letting me know that.

    AgonyAunt:
    Thanks :)
    ps- Hope Obama wins anyway.
    I think it’s pretty much decided!

    phoenix, Vijay, Ani:

    trauma queen:
    if bush could win twice..aything is possible
    Ya, that’s a scary thought. Interestingly Bush is the one who ruined it for Mccain :)

  35. 35 Srikanth

    Ironically, I happened to read a story regarding voting in the book called Freakonomics yesterday. The author claims that your vote doesn’t count. Fore more, read this:

    http://tinyurl.com/5cqbzl

    In short: You are a tiny fraction of the entire population, your vote doesn’t really decide the candidate, so your vote doesn’t count. But you vote for many other reasons. This is the sad story of democracy.

  36. 36 Gireesh

    OMG..you should have been campaigning for obama :)

    PS ::voting for Mccain can get you a “sexy” VP ,so think again :P

  37. 37 Twisted DNA

    Srikanth
    The author claims that your vote doesn’t count.
    Interesting theory. Do you know the story about King, Village and milk? A king ordered that every Saturday, everybody in a village must bring a cup of milk and pour it in a huge cauldron. At the end of the day, they found that the cauldron was filled with water. Because everybody thought, “everybody else is going to get milk. It doesn’t matter if I get water.” :)
    Gireesh
    voting for Mccain can get you a “sexy” VP
    Typically when there is a sexy woman, the entire country wants to screw her. In Palin’s case, she is going to screw the entire country. So no thanks ;)

  38. 38 Jira

    ;)
    Blogzilla maybe…Way better than Bugzilla!
    And I hereby declare I do not patronize gojira or godzilla… :)

  39. 39 Nitin

    Digg this up!!
    Hey, you need to put a Digg icon on your posts.

  40. 40 Sudipta Chatterjee

    You have outdone yourself!!

    Where is the DIGG?

  41. 41 phoenix

    :D your reply to me was even more hilarious :P i had a simple chuckle while tryin ‘vote here’ part
    whereas this reply literally made me laugh

  42. 42 MS CUTE PANTS

    Why have you not been featured on the National News yet????

  43. 43 paro

    By far, the best!

  44. 44 trauma queen

    u know mccain might win - if u take the bradley effect into account

  45. 45 focaljob

    hahaa what ajoke
    fake voting ?? i think its ok if u want to test your system :)

  46. 46 Aparna

    Heights of joblessness.. :) Hey.. is that you i saw standing next to Mr Cain the other day in BBC???? the bald head, dark glasses?? Short?? its u right? working hard for him !!?

  47. 47 Twisted DNA

    Jira:
    Blogzilla
    Lol

    Nitin:
    Hey, you need to put a Digg icon on your posts.
    Ahem, I do :D It’s a hint that I need to remove those ridiculous list of buttons from the bottom of each post and have a digg button up there somewhere :)

    Sudipta Chatterjee:
    You have outdone yourself!!
    Thank you, thank you. I hope I didn’t set the bar higher for myself. Now I need to do a couple of really bad posts to set the bar back :)
    Where is the DIGG?
    Nowhere in sight :)

    phoenix:
    whereas this reply literally made me laugh
    I am glad you liked it. That’s why I like back-and-forth commenting… it’s really fun :)

    MS CUTE PANTS:
    Why have you not been featured on the National News yet
    Lol. People get featured on national news for multiple reasons. I hope you meant the good reason ;)

    paro:
    By far, the best!
    Thank you, disappearing woman.

    trauma queen:
    u know mccain might win - if u take the bradley effect into account
    But the bandwagon effect will counter that :D All theories and hypotheses, it’s less than 48 hours to find out now!!

    focaljob:
    fake voting ?? i think its ok if u want to test your system
    What system? Democracy? :P

    Aparna:
    Heights of joblessness
    The lows of joblessness rather :D
    Hey.. is that you i saw standing next to Mr Cain the other day in BBC???? the bald head, dark glasses?? Short?? its u right? working hard for him !!?
    I fit the description right on… I could’ve believed it was me if the person were wearing a Obama button :)

  48. 48 phoenix

    guess what??
    I got habit of checking back wht reply i got of the thing i replied :) anyway me too likin this back-n-forth commenting part
    it really is fun
    remindin me of old 24X7 chatting days.. :P cheers

  49. 49 arunima

    Are you voting?
    who is going to win?

  50. 50 Joel Klebanoff

    The Republicans don’t have to steer the vote that far; they just have to keep it close. Then, if the Presidential election comes down to a single state where there has been some questionable voting practices, Republicans will contest it up to the Supreme Court, which will award the election to George Bush.

    AwwwcK!

  51. 51 ladybird

    I hope the actual voting wasnt so bad. :)

  52. 52 gooddaysunshine

    Brilliant!! Thankfully this didnt happen!!

  53. 53 Aparna

    looks like afterall your falthu votting machine fouled !! great job TD :) we should have known your idea behind this,,

  54. 54 Srikanth

    Dont know if you have patented it.
    Else, Election commission of India would copy it, and use it in India.

  55. 55 Sowmiya

    Ha ha..That was fun!!!

  56. 56 phoenix

    Hellow
    I replied on 3rd. I still havent got ans back. hah. These bloggers these days have too much of attitude. phew !!!

  57. 57 ARJuna

    Please visit my blog at

    http://worldofteenager.blogspot.com

    I have included your blog in my blogroll.

    Thank you

  58. 58 buddy

    lol
    dont think palin can even do that much!

  59. 59 How do we know

    just HOW do u think up all this??? Am glad Obama won tho.

  60. 60 Ashtray On a Motorbike

    I’ve seen this on the simpsons.

  61. 61 Ashtray On a Motorbike

    I’ve seen this on the simpsons.

  62. 62 Sangeetha

    Stumbled upon your blog via Neha’s blog. You are too funny! Keep them coming. Still going through the archives :)

  63. 63 Manasa

    ROGL.. Hilarious.. Why don’t you ask Obama to try this? ;)

  64. 64 Anu

    Ha - looks like someone screwed up - there was a bug in the machines - all votes went to Obama:-))

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