Do you know why you shouldn’t call your friends who have kids in the age range of 12-24 months? Allow me to explain.
I called a friend of mine recently. She has been extremely busy after she had had her baby. So we didn’t talk in a long time. I will let the conversation transcript speak for itself.
After some conversation.
Me: How is your son doing? He should be close to 18 months right?
Friend: Ya! He is very talkative these days! He’s been grabbing the phone from me. Here say hi to him.
Me: What!? No, wait wait…
(Silence on the phone)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say hello TD uncle
Son: (Silence)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say na
Vague sound of a wad of saliva landing on the mouthpiece and a tongue picking it up
Friend, who took the words “Don’t give up on your children” to heart: (Distant voice) Say hello TD uncle
Son: ga ga gaa ga
Friend: (Distant voice) GOOD JOB! Did you hear that, TD?
Me: (Stunned Silence)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say something back to him TD
Me: Give the phone to your mommy
After a few minutes of this lively dialog between the child and me, my friends takes the phone back.
Friend: He really likes talking to you!
Me: Ya, it will be a delight talking to him when he learns a few more words
Friend: No, no he can say a lot of words. He can say all ABCs. Munnu, here say ABCs to TD uncle
Without checking if I was a consenting adult, the phone was handed back the child.
Son: (Silence)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say ABCs
Son: ga ga ga gaa
Friend: (Distant voice) You for got C munnu. Say C, D, E
Son: ga ga gaa
Friend: (Distant voice) GOOD JOB!
I will spare you rest of the alphabet. I hung up soon enough, promising to get her some information she needed.
I called her back a week later with the info. But this time I was careful enough to call when she would not be home so I can just leave a voice mail. When I got the her voice mail, here is the message:
Friends’ voice: Hi you’ve reached X, Y and (whispers ’say it’… ’say’) (Son’s voice) ga ga (Back to Friend in a giddy tone) Please leave us a message *beep*
I couldn’t leave a message because I was speechless.
You can imagine how happy I was when I got hold of her on chat. Chat must be safe until her son learns to type. Except…
Friend: Hang on, Munna is all over the laptop
Me: Ok
Friend: He wants to say something to you 
Friend: .z..,zxcnv..a.,x
ohh my cruel GOD!
this was HILARIOUS!
He he..I cnt stop laughin!!esp. that voice mail thingy…damn funny!!!Wt all they cn cum up wid…N yeah guess its nt new to u,bt yeah u jus write so damn funnily!!!Good job!!It wud b great if u cn increase the frequency of ur posts though…
ROFL…reminded me of the Sienfeld Episode “You Gotta See the Baibee”…During my US days, had a friend who called me over to see a video tape of his Child’s birth… didnt go… they were very offended that I missed such a sublime moment
It only gets better. Wait till they get to 24-30 months. Then you get to hear “Echo”. What’s that - everything said twice.
“Say hi to TD uncle”,
Hi TD uncle.
Ask him “how are you doing”?
How u do (eats the rest of the words)
Tell him you ate bread today
I ate bre to (eats the rest of the words)
You get the picture.
I got to your blog via Ashok’s. I think both of you should think about writing a standup bit. Seriously you rock. Good job.
ROFL ..too good
Who can beat ya
Baby, tell uncle his post is so funny?!
….
C’mon, c’mon, say nice post?
aaaaa…..mammammmmmm!
!!!! You saw that, nda?! He *loves* your post!
-g
Its okay TD, kids are nice..
(I know I can say that since I am myself a kid, but a kid like me still understands your situation and position)
Rofl , hilarious as always :D!. . .We once assumed my nephew said gravity , when he was 1 , He was speaking in a different accent , ofcourse . . . He said “dha dha dhi”
:))
Voice mail part was very funny
The voice mail part was damn funny..
sometime these things do happen .. Somethings in life are better left to be experienced .
i’m glad that i hopped into this funny blog
It is just being an excited parent
I chat with my wife from office and sometimes my daughter types up hi as “knjaew foje ofcno”. It is funny and cute 
wait till you have kids!
But then its irritating when parents want to show off their kids prowess in social gatherings. One is trapped in such a case…
hehee. Is this some kind of a (un)veiled hint?
This reminds me of a scene in Curb your enthusiasm where Larry David is confronted by an over zealous mom of a “precious” 8 year old girl. She mentions her daughter is gifted and Larry in his tired sad way smirks “Of course she is”. Ha ha TD! Awesome post.
I pray I don’t turn into one of these moms in future.
As long as you didn’t have a bawling kid at the other end, with parents still trying to coax it to be nice and say “good morning TD uncle. How are you today? It’s a fins day outside, no?” you’re fine. so stop complaining!
heheh…so the ga ga ga uncle must be now all gaga over the new vocabulary he’s learnt?
Enjoy!
Heck! second time i am feeling deja vu! either that or u manage to make the most mundane scene humorous!
btw, am terribly curious - ur have kids too, right?
Heh.. loved this post.. have seen it so many freaking times that I have lost all my energy to engage the other person torturing me..
Hehe…Funny
You bet parents with infants can be annoying, esp. on the phone! That voice message greeting is pushing things a bit too far! I know they’re proud parents of a gagaaing infant, but do they have to make the child tell the world how proud they are? Wo Gaad! Parents, I tell you!
ROFLMAO..
Q: When will the current financial storm subside, what measures should be taken?
A: ga ga ga ga ..ga ga……….
Now all the major economists are speaking the infant’s language :))))
God! I know exactly what you’re talking about. Aren’t we lucky our considerate friends take the pains to translate the baby talk for us?!
Veens:
What, you never had such experience?
Sowmiya:
that voice mail thingy
Lol! People actually do it!
yeah u jus write so damn funnily!!!Good job!!
Thank you
It wud b great if u cn increase the frequency of ur posts though…
Lol, I wish too. But you know the formula right? Quality of posts is inversely proportional to quantity
Vijay:
Sienfeld Episode “You Gotta See the Baibeeâ€
That’s an awesome ep! Well, most Seinfeld episodes are pretty awesome.
who called me over to see a video tape of his Child’s birth…
You gotta be kidding me!!
didnt go…
You didn’t? You are such spoil sport!
Mukund Mohan:
Then you get to hear “Echoâ€. What’s that - everything said twice.
ROFL! That’s so true. Are you and I talking to the same people by any chance? (I see that you are in the bay area too)
I got to your blog via Ashok’s. I think both of you
But yes, a collaboration could be wonderful.
For both of us to be on stage at the same time, the stage has to span a few continents
should think about writing a standup bit.
I do aspire to do a stand up gig sometime. For now, I just stand up when I write the post.
Seriously you rock.
Thank you
BlueMist:
Thank you
pria:
Who can beat ya
The friend I talked about, if she reads this blog
gauri:
Baby, tell uncle his post is so funny?!
ROFL!
You know, I need to check out your answering machine message! I bet it says, “hi you reached me, spouse, (names of kid(s))”
Abhinav:
Its okay TD, kids are nice..
Kids are very nice. It’s the parents we are talking about
I am myself a kid
You are quite eloquent for a kid
priya:
We once assumed my nephew said gravity … He said “dha dha dhiâ€
ROFL! I am sure his parents hugged you
Sudeep:
Thank you
Whacky:
sometime these things do happen
Looks like such things happen to all the time
i’m glad that i hopped into this funny blog
I am glad you did too
Dinesh:
When a father and daughter do it 
I chat with my wife from office and sometimes my daughter types up hi as “knjaew foje ofcnoâ€. It is funny and cute
That is cute
maxdavinci:
wait till you have kids!
Can’t wait. I mean, I already have a kid
kids prowess in social gatherings. One is trapped in such a case…
Social gatherings is easy… you always have the cell phone for rescue
La Vida Loca:
hehee. Is this some kind of a (un)veiled hint?
I hope not. I hope people who are supposed to get the hint are not reading this blog
Gigi:
This reminds me of a scene in Curb your enthusiasm
That is another amazing show. I love that guy the way he gets himself into uncomfortable situations
Ha ha TD! Awesome post.
Thank you
I pray I don’t turn into one of these moms in future.
We will just have to call you and find out
RukmaniRam:
so stop complaining!
Wait, did I sound like complaining?
prats:
the ga ga ga uncle must be now all gaga over the new vocabulary he’s learnt?
ga gaa ga? ga gaa ga.
Enjoy!
ga ga
Anon Again:
second time i am feeling deja vu!
Well, ahem, you do have to feel it the second time for it to be a Déjà vu.
either that or u manage to make the most mundane scene humorous\
Yes, we have a son. We are thinking of appointing him as the official phone-picker. If people pass his screening then I should talk 
Thank you. If you have a really cynical and sarcastic view, everything looks funny to you, I guess
btw, am terribly curious - ur have kids too, right?
Are you trying to imply something
rackgen:
loved this post
Thank you
lost all my energy to engage the other person torturing me.
LOL. I know what you mean. At some point, we apathetically go through the torture
Sravya:
Thank you
sthitapragnya:
That voice message greeting is pushing things a bit too far
Glad I am not the only one feeling that!
but do they have to make the child tell the world how proud they are?
Man, this is just the beginning. This will soon be followed by say “bye bye”, “show uncle how you somersault” and so on!
rahul:
A: ga ga ga ga ..ga ga……….
hahaha. You are right. May be I should learn the language too
D:
Kids are very cute when they are natural. If parents try to make them it’s not that cute any more 
Aren’t we lucky our considerate friends take the pains to translate the baby talk for us?!
True. Although, I would prefer it if they translate the talk instead of the child speaking
Ok this is brilliant. Wait till they get slightly older ( happens with my nephews) when the parents will clutch em and make them talk, while the hapless kids actually want to do something much more fun.
So that was over the phone, chat. But would you not like to go over to meet the kid in person??
Hehe! i was not implying anythin. was just thinkin all parents do that. it appears funny only when u see someone else do it. speaking from exp, am I.
hehehhehehe
yha i know how this feels - my sis has three kids and well
i have just learnt to play along - easier!
hi.
i love this funny post.
the voice mail part was really outstanding.
LOL!! so when do you talk to the baby next? in 15 yrs?
agree with u on the cynical and sarcasm bit. There’s humor in everyday life, but people dont have the sense of humor to find it. Thats why they should pass a law making Twisted-DNA’s musings mandatory reading!
I am sooo glad someone else picked this up. I find other people’s kids unbearable. Can they not lock em up and all and keep em away from us un-childed, happier ones?
The phone thing is a pain
Twisted,
This is hilarious. Thanks for the post.
Syam
haahah!
well i sooo relate to it…it happens to me soo many times…its irritating!
A Cynic in Wonderland :
the hapless kids actually want to do something much more fun.
The guests too for that matter
sumana:
But would you not like to go over to meet the kid in person??
You know, kids are actually a lot of fun in person. It’s the parents that generally drive you nuts
chitty cat:
Question about your name, chitty cat. Is the first ‘c’ a hard ‘c’ or a soft ‘c’?
yha i know how this feels - my sis has three kids and well
Lol. But you can always whack a sister, can’t you
stevie teever:
Thank you
anisha:
so when do you talk to the baby next? in 15 yrs?
Next time I call my friend, I am guessing
Anon Again:
but people dont have the sense of humor to find it.
But seriously, looking at life in a funny light, makes life stress free
Thats why they should pass a law making Twisted-DNA’s musings mandatory reading
It’s like you read my mind!!
Allytude:
ROFL. Any hint of my agreeing with any part of your statement does not bode well for my well being
Syam:
Thanks Syam
ekta:
t happens to me soo many times…its irritating!
My sympathies for you
Keep the babies away!
bang on target. I guess no one really could say it this succinctly..
rofl… that’s why I never call my friends who are either married or have kids
hahahahahahaha!!
ok! i am never gonna give the phone to Cubby! we do this third degree torture ONLY for grand parents because they worship they ground he pees on!
but thanks for warning me before i unleashed my son on a poor unsusoecting friend!!
we parents can be ridiculously silly at times!!
cheers!
An Anonymous commentator who hopped to my blog from yours thinks that I should have tagged you on a Tricky Tag Post that I did a few days back. If you feel you want to do it, please do. If I can make it funny, then I think you will definitely make it funnier. I just wasn’t sure if you do tags, so I didn’t tag you. But now that Anon person asked, I was thinking why not!
as long as u dont pronounce ‘ch’ as ’sh’ im ok
my blogger name used to be trauma queen - all i got was mean comments by stupid asses who thought i was manic depressive (it’s just a name!)
same thing happened to me when i called up one of my professors. except this time the child picked up the phone. trust me, thats even more *&^%$.
however, since its a prof, one has to pretend one likes the talking to the child while all the while one thinks of secretly offering to operate on the child to lengthen her vocal chords.
Hilarious. Mukund’s comment on what comes when they turn 24 months is even more hilarious.
This is what you get for avoiding babies. Give me your number, again… (Beta, zara idhar aana)
Just hilarious, but have been that route before so can understand what u are saying.
TD,
Leave phone and chat conversations.
Think about meeting these babies in real life.
Funnier its gonna be.
-Nikhil
hahaha… i completely understand what you must have gone thru.. i have friends who do this, and after a second, am like talking to thin air, cos the kid just holds the phone but is all silent….. sigh!!!
trust me , i love kids… but not when they are babies n being asked to talk to x, y or z on phone!!! leave them be, i say@@ ….
An award for you on my blog. I am sure it will come back with a wonderful sense of humor.
haha, hilarious!!
Hey I’ve tagged ya!!Check ma blog!!
LOL! I get the omg-you-are-so-insensitive (for a girl) look when i don’t go ga-ga,gee gee’ ing over the babies.
And other outtakes on super heroes…bring it on. would love it.
HAHAHA!
“hgskdflg;smnmajf,eo;a[q.q,amnlglh;s, ajm;fnpojjioueu[,,';m;auieu0jpjocnonoa[[ao[ cpioihihhohpjm ppjphjiuie hhohpaijjkdkdjjf pooaiogaagffaaaafpeoofppoa[q[q[qls,kjkldpsopsopsps"
just wait a min
my 1 and half yr old niece wamts to comment
Oh it seems she is done with the commenting!
not letting me to type anything [LOL]
Hahahahahha sooooooooooooo funny!!! Hilarious! Some people are so adorably (or irritably) all over their children!!!
Gawd!!!
Btw nice site
Adding ya to my blogroll and reader 
The most cruel post ever, trust me TD u are going to hell..direct flight no Transit and all the bullshit.. and the flight you go will be filled with kids.. “TD Uncle.. do you wanna have chuuse (Juice)” ahahahahha !!
Hi TD,
Hilarious, laughed all the way! I loved the title of the blog too; phone-tics indeed.
Someobdy once said, ‘parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.’ How true.
Keep them coming.
Cheers,
Salil
LOL it was not that bad. Kids are alright, heck they are lovely but Moms make a tad too bit of a fuss out of it. And if you are going to meet more Moms you are in store for a lot more of such, ahem, fun conversations
This is just the beginning…”where is ur nose? how do u eat? “… it gets worse ..” What is the capital of India?”… they should be locked away until they are at least 15 yrs old!
super writing man…
ha..ha..ha…
that was hilarious!!!
Hahahahha!! She was one proud mommy trying to show off the newly acquired skills of her baby!
Meanie you are *wink*
Wait for a few minutes. You will be subjected to hours of ‘rhymes’ torture! “Sing baba black sheep to uncle… sing Pappu can’t dance s%#$%# .. sing… sing ..sing..” Enjoy!
Very similar experiences abound here too :).
People go a little bit overboard with kids sometimes. And when I say that, of course, I’m told “I don’t know what I’m talking about because I have no kids”.
Have you ever heard to mothers discussing strollers? It’s as annoying…
oh my god!! You were my absolutely delightful discovery on a boring friday evening at work. You are a total riot and had me in splits for most of the time. I am soo hooked to your blog.
I am in total agreement with Anon Again who said it should a law making Twisted-DNA’s musings mandatory reading!
Spot on! Exactly what I do to my friends, though most being female, are more likely the “chooo chweet” types. Though you’ve got me wondering..hmm..
Needed a good laugh and you never disappoint. Thanks, T-DNA!
I have a 7 months old kid who has started doing such naughty stuff..Check out my blog to catch a glimpse..
OMG, This was the most hilarious blog-post I’ve seen. I just can’t stop laughing! It’s a riot! Thank you for putting it up. Does your friend know about this blog?
I duplicated the same to my hubby and he was also a laugh riot! THanks for sharing it with us, your blog certainly cheered up my otherwise bad mood for this week. Will certainly keep checking for updates.
Too good! Last time I had to bear two extremely proud parents cootchiecooing overy their kid, prompting her to say - ADCD while the kid gurgled something I couldnt make head or tails of.
Nice work!
Hi,
This post was hilarious, a genuine good humor …keep it up ..i have subscribed to your blog feed and i loved that gyno visit blog too.
absolutely hilarious
Oh boy. I love this blog.
It’s brilliant fun.
nee amma!! that was funny man ….