Nobody asked me to review the movie Dark Knight. So I am doing it.
The Dark Knight is a deliciously wonderful movie for anybody who grew up reading Batman comics. I didn’t grow up reading Batman comics.
In fact, I don’t even understand Batman. What does Batman have in common with a bat other than the fact that they both are classified as mammals? He can’t fly. Nor can he generate ultrasonics. I was waiting throughout the movie for the Batman to hang upside down on a tree, he didn’t do that either. I was this close to demanding my money back. Also, have you ever seen a bat fight bad guys? You never did. You know why? Because they don’t. All they do is hang in some dark corner; and when you get up on a building, lean on the wall and throw a stone, they fly up and scratch your face. Hypothetically, I mean.
Let’s talk about the cast. First of all, Christian Bale doesn’t look like a bat. He looks more like a vulture. He did his best to act and in a couple of scenes he actually showed some expressions. I wish they didn’t make his mask so tight though. Every time he wore it, it pinched his throat and his voice became very hoarse. It’s got to be pretty darn annoying fighting bad guys while gasping for air.
There was this Joker too. He was amazing. Rest in peace, Mr. Ledger.
Most people don’t notice, but there is a heroine in the movie. I saw cadavers livelier than her and blank whiteboards more interesting than her face. She is like a decorative African art on a table - nobody knows why it is there and you won’t even notice it until it catches on fire. That is precisely what happens in the movie. She moves the story along only after she is dead. (WARNING: There is a spoiler in the previous line)
I guess my biggest gripe with this movie is that batman is not even like a hero in the movie, forget superhero. Batman gets beat up, hit by a car, bitten by dogs, shot at and slammed into a wall - in the first five minutes. It gets worse after that. What is missing in the movie is Batman’s mother so he could run whimpering to his mommy every time Joker outwits him. And in a crowing moment of glory, batman ends the movie running away being chased by street dogs.
What I am saying is, overall, it’s a great movie.
I leave you with a few outtakes from the movie:
Yes, why inflammable actually flamable? This guy is intelligent!
Btw, there’s a typo error: it’s “wear” and not “ware”.
One can surely learn from you on how to minutely dissect a movie. You did not leave even a single point..
Very good review. Thank you for the 2 minutes of mirth.
ROTFL…. now that you have explained the basics maybe I will watch the movie.. my son thinks that the movie is one of the best ever made… of course he liked Mr. Beans Holiday as well…
Thank you, that was a refreshing take on the movie. I hate Batman movies.
Extremely funny and a first of its kind review. Dude you are awesome. Yes Christian Bale is more like Vulture. What abt Val Kilmer? have u seen the Val Kilmer batman ?
hhehehe!!! of course after telling the spoiler… u can put it in the brackets
and never grew up on his movies/comics 
hehehehe!!! I never liked Batman
like all the IMAGES .. courtesy u
I must say, of all the dark knight reviews i have read; glorifying joker and the movie in general; this one was the best.
Yes, it’s “wear” not “ware”.
Sorry. Can’t help it. I know someone else has corrected you already. But I have to. Or I won’t get sleep.
hehehehheehheh. love the out takes
I downloaded the movie! (Yes downloaded for free!!!) but wasn’t able to distinguish whose who because of the poor quality of graphics and sound but now I know what was the movie all about.. Thanks
ohh and before anyone else correct my spelling..
its “who’s who!”
Arun
“She moves the story along only after she is dead. (WARNING: There is a spoiler in the previous line)”
Darn! was so looking forward to seeing this movie, but no! a
certain twisted guy spoils the fun… He he! swell review,
fella. loved it.
Batman. I took that as an instruction. Would’ve loved to strike him with one.
I had planned to skip this movie, but now I really want to watch it - hilarious!
-g
Good review. I guess all aspects of the movie was covered.
D:
Yes, why inflammable actually flamable?
Ya, baffles me
it’s “wear†and not “wareâ€.
oh, but they sound the same!
Sarath:
One can surely learn from you on how to minutely dissect a movie.
The movie minutely dissected me too
ladybird:
Very good review. Thank you for the 2 minutes of mirth.
People who read slow are better off. They could get 4 min of mirth
Thank you
Vijay:
now that you have explained the basics maybe I will watch the movie
I don’t think I left any spoiler out - sorry
of course he liked Mr. Beans Holiday as well…
Lol. I am sure I will like Bean’s Holiday myself!
Ritu:
Thank you, that was a refreshing take on the movie.
See, I am bitten and I am trying to save the rest of the world
Dinesh:
Extremely funny and a first of its kind review.
Thank you very much!
What abt Val Kilmer?
Val Kilmer was good as long as he kept the mask on
Veens:
u can put it in the brackets
If I don’t do that people will complain I spoiled it with out a warning! Now there is a warning
like all the IMAGES .. courtesy u
Thank you
sheba kunhimohammed:
Thank you very much
Broom aka Spelling Police:
Ya, I was a little dozing 
Yes, it’s “wear†not “wareâ€.
But at 2AM, I would swear they both mean the same thing
Or I won’t get sleep.
Lol, hope you slept well. Now I can sleep well too, knowing the next the commentor is not going to correct it
La Vida Loca:
hehehehheehheh. love the out takes
It’s always fun to put words in other people’s mouth
Abhinav:
but wasn’t able to distinguish whose who because of the poor quality
You should be glad about it
ohh and before anyone else correct my spelling..
ROFL! Ya, we sure do have a lot of spelling-Nazi’s here!
Arunk:
I don’t get Batman either and hence I don’t get what the hoopla is all about
It’s more fun not getting it. We can a lot of fun of it
Anon Again:
Interesting name. Are you an-on again off again guy?
Darn! was so looking forward to seeing this movie
You should thank me for it
loved it.
Thank you
gauri:
Batman. I took that as an instruction. Would’ve loved to strike him with one.
Your comment is like a cryptic crossword puzzle. I demand more clues.
hilarious!
You will find the moive more hilarious
Mithiri:
I guess all aspects of the movie was covered.
Lol, ya, every aspect that can be made fun of has been made fun of
Thank you
Wonderful outtakes…
I never understood batman ever… This makes life easier!
Hilarious…esp the spoiler part!
I always wonder how you come up with things like this! Maybe you should make a post with tips for aspiring humourists!
Cheers!
yup. MDP. right now, its the anon character.
Dark Knight was very Dark that you could not see anything??? Very interesting view of the movie.. after hearing a lot of ppl who went gaga over it!
ROTFL!! You just made my day, dude!! Am gonna send dis link rightaway to all those blokes in office who’ve laboured endlessly to explain to me why The Dark Knight is such a wonderful movie …
Thank You !!! I am not into superheroes …be it Batman, Spiderman or Superman. And I’m
glad I dd not waste my time or moolah watching the movie. Your take on the scenes were
outright funny ….
was nice to finally see someone agree with me!
nice work with the images!
Outtakes, African Art and Maggie Gyllenhaal reference - LMAO! Bale with his mask on
did sound like Rani Mukerjhee with a bad case of sore throat. More outtakes on other
super hero movies? pretty, Please.
That’s true actually…why IS Batman such a super hero. He’s got no superpowers…Or maybe he is because he has no superpowers, that he risks his life to save the average joe.
If I were to watch The Dark Knight again, it would solely be due to Ledger’s awesome portrayal of The Joker. He raised the bar to a standard that no one can ever beat, let alone reach.
Batman is not a super hero in the film, he just walks away!
he is batman coz it was the bat in a dingy alley on the day his parents were killed changed his life!
and i watched the whole damn movie for Bale and Heath!
Come on i grew up reading batman comics and i like them
i know it is silly to see him not resemble a bat, like he was bit by a bat and turned into batman like spiderman! hopefully they did not get the idea!
and it wud be so gross being bit by a bat, not that i have seen instances where bat bites u!
they keep a watchful eye at night! and that is what batman is trying to do!
and real bad that batman’s love interest had to die in the movie, and it was better she died half way or else they would have wondered how to bring about two face! and show more evil to batman!
all in all a nice movie which i liked, and watched it for Bale, Heath, and the BAT Mobile!
” not to buy digital TVs from Costco”
ROFL!!
Batman rocks, ji. my whole college loved him and the movie. too bad you and some of the ladies didnt grow up reading him. guess ill be quoting this in my generation gap essay
Gosh loved this! And this, after enjoying the movie - I should be mad at you!
Stumbling upon blog for fist time, marking it definitely.
“Your comment is like a cryptic crossword puzzle. I demand more clues.”
Grrr. I was saying when someone said batman, I thought they’re asking to strike the man with a bat. (And now i want to strike someone else :P). May as well have said some xxx gibberish :-\
I thought Bale was wonderful regardless of your bird analogy and so was Ledger, I will however have to agree with you about the girl, dead pan to say the least. Overall was a good movie and not at trivial and watered down as you’re making it out to be.
But then I guess your review wouldn’t be any fun if you didn’t slam that movie would it?
Technical clarification. ” Nor can he generate ultrasonics.”
Not true. He generates ultrasonics in both the movies. In Dark Knight, he uses the SONAR
technology to know where his enemies are doesn’t he? Just like the bats do, although its
not called SONAR in bat-lingo i guess!
This is, clearly, the best review of “The Dark Knight” on the net.
Interesting blog.
*goes off to subscribe to blog feed*
Brilliant! Never saw this side of the Batman fan-culb!
And now Dark Knight.
I think U should review the next Ballaya and Vijaykanth movies 
Whencutdeep:
If I have to provide a tip, I would say, there is no such thing as talent, hard work is everything.
Wonderful outtakes…
Thank you
I never understood batman ever… This makes life easier!
Not understanding batman? It does make life easier
Maybe you should make a post with tips for aspiring humourists!
Thanks for the compliments, but I don’t pride myself as somebody who can dole out advice
Anon Again!:
MDP. right now, its the anon character
ROFL
Aparna:
Dark Knight was very Dark that you could not see anything
I wish
Very interesting view of the movie
Interesting? Hmm, isn’t that what we say when don’t want to say “horrible”?
TheMelancholyTree:
Am gonna send dis link rightaway to all those blokes in office
Ya, do that. Now they will endlessly explain to you not to read this blog
Meena:
I’m glad I dd not waste my time or moolah watching the movie
Not so fast! I am going to demand buying me coffee for saving you money
outright funny
Thank you - OK, fine. Instead of complimentary coffee, I will just accept compliments
maxdavinci:
was nice to finally see someone agree with me!
The feeling is mutual
Thank you
clueless:
Rani Mukerjhee with a bad case of sore throat.
ROFL. That’s a good one.
More outtakes on other super hero movies?
Watch what you wish for! It might come true
MS CUTE PANTS:
that he risks his life to save the average joe.
Isn’t that what an average hero does? Ya, hard to explain batman!
it would solely be due to Ledger’s
Ya, I agree! Joker was amazing. For a week after the movie, I was doing the tongue thing Joker did. My colleagues didn’t find it very funny though.
zanychild:
Come on i grew up reading batman comics and i like them
Good for you! You can keep paying money to the Batman francise
like he was bit by a bat and turned into batman like spiderman!
Wait a minute! A bat scratched me. Shouldn’t I be batman! Or at least a Scratchman!
they keep a watchful eye at night!
All I ever saw bats doing is hang in a dark corner and eat flies. Watchful eye, my eye.
I get your drift. Since you like the moive so much, it’s fun to make fun of you
ROFL
Thank you
Anjana:
guess ill be quoting this in my generation gap essay
ROFL. Good one. Don’t forget to mention that most ardent fans of batman are 40 year olds
Ms Cris:
Gosh loved this!
Thank you
And this, after enjoying the movie - I should be mad at you
Look at my profile pic, how could you be mad at me
gauri:
I thought they’re asking to strike the man with a bat.
Ah, right! If we take the verb sense of the “bat” and extend the meaning to cover hitting general objects not just a ball, and assume the definite article between “bat” and “man” - I get it
Sorry had to say that
And now i want to strike someone else
I guess my previous comment didn’t help much to ease the feeling. I better be a runman now.
May as well have said some xxx gibberish :-\
Now, that language I totally understand and love
AgonyAunt:
I thought Bale was wonderful
You never mentioned your affinity for bird-faced men!
But then I guess your review wouldn’t be any fun if you didn’t slam that movie would it?
Bingo
Anish:
Technical clarification
I have a policy of deleting an email if it says, “Technical clarification”. Nothing good can come out of it. But this time I am making an exception
Not true. He generates … SONAR in bat-lingo i guess!
Excellent, Dr. Anish. But, allow me to present a rebuttal. You see, SONAR is actually infrosonics. So he would be a MutatedBatMan, or MuteMan for short.
Lol, but you brought a good point though
Vasudha:
Quite an honor you bestwoed on me.
This is, clearly, the best review of
Thank you
goes off to subscribe to blog feed
Blog feed always sounded like something you feed to the blog, you know, like chicken feed
sthitapragnya:
Brilliant! Never saw this side of the Batman fan-culb!
Thank you. Yes, the lighter side of batman
Harish:
I think U should review the next Ballaya and Vijaykanth movies
Hahaha. Nobody parodies Balayya movies because they are their own parody
I liked it, although I liked Batman Begins Better.
I’m totally with you on your banana theory, btw.
Good review..
I too thot Batman barely had a role and his 10secs of fame in this movie…. but must say joker was kick ass!!
loved the toons… wacko!! esp the one about tyres, thats exactly what i thot of em when they were revealed!!!
Crap! I should have paid attention to the electronic classes in college
TDNA you are disrespecting the holy grail here, I love your blog but disrespecting “THE DARK KNIGHT” is sacrilegious. The movie is thought provoking and has a deep inner meaning. I am not a fan of Batman comics myself, but Dark Knight is not about a superhero in a Bat costume. Its about a normal man with a supernatural lifestyle, I don’t expect everyone to understand this statement, but criticizing without an effort for appreciation is not in the right spirit. I am not asking you to stop criticizing movies, but keep that to only ‘Shah-Rukh’, ‘Saif Ali khan’ and telugu movies of Balaya coz they deserve all the infamy.
P.S please give a similar review of some Indian movie like Om Shanti Om or ‘Ta ra rum pum’ (Lead: Saif ali) It will give your creative juices a much needed re-energizer and provide your fans with a worthwhile read.
haha!
am so glad I havent seen this movie!!
Costume made out of tires…lol!
lol funny review indeed
LOL!! the pics and the comments on them are just awesosme
//A bat scratched me. Shouldn’t I be batman! Or at least a Scratchman!\\
U shud be! then y else are u scratching up Batman like u r doing right now!
And yes I like the movie so much, and u have no right to make fun of it! or else i will put on the bat signal and make Batman give u a personal visit, where u can scratch him, and he can bat you..and see where it leads [;)]
Best Dark Knight review I’ve read till date!
Missed out on a lot of scenes when I saw the movie. Guess the projectionist was too groggy to switch reels, seeing the cigarette burns.
Nice pics too!
it was a gr8 it make the movie a big huge block buster and that only cause of ur review
ROFL… Even I didn’t grow up watching batman or even super-man… Nor did I find batman hanging over trees here… But watched both Batman Begins n Dark-Knights for time-pass
That was really funny review. But movie is great. Not the best but one of the best I’ve seen.
Aw goddamn you! You’ve made a total mockery of my most favorite move (well, at least in the last 3 years!)
“Every time he wore it, it pinched his throat and his voice became very hoarse.”
Have you watched the other Super-hero movies, Superman in particular? I mean Clark Kent has to take off his glasses and he becomes superman! Couldn’t people see right through that? I really found it weird that no one could actually not see it! And let’s take Spiderman. He wears a mask and all alright, but come on, I can recognize my mom’s voice from a mile away and the voices of most people I know from a closer distance, so Marie Jane & his Aunt and all should’ve known that Peter Parker is spiderman.
In case you were wondering where I was going, Bruce Wayne didn’t want his voice to be a give-away too! That’s why he was hoarse!
Having said that… ahem… ah well alright, the blog was funny. The pictures were rad. Most of your blogs are funny! There you go, you’ve heard that cliched statement like for the milionth time now! Goddamn you for making me say it!
Rofl!!. . .That was one hilarious dark knight review. . . Loved the post
But i loved the movie too
I agree with you - why a bat??? Couldn’t help laughing.
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Now who is the batman? U r rocking indeed.
omg u r soooooooooooooooooo funnny!!
i love ur blog!!
well i like batman superman and all those men - better than most real men
but i dont like christian bale - he is everyting you have written about him
yanyway - i shall also feed blogs!
hahahahaha
lol
Hi,
This is one of the funniest movie reviews I have ever read. Great job.
“decorative African art on a table - nobody knows why it is there and you won’t even notice it until it catches on fire” - lol
Keep them coming.
Cheers,
Salil
If I would have seen movie, I would have asked
What animal is this?
Is this directed by Speilberg?
And finally I would have asked “Did Kamalhasan get this funny makeup as per his latest idea?”
Nobody asked me to write a comment for this. So i am doing it.
(Jus like TD na?)
Anyways…It was a gr8 movie…had more sense than any other
batman i ve ever seen….ofcourse he is bat like…does most of his works at the night…uses sonar too….i grew up reading batman!
But overall….it s a good review!!! U must try writing reviews
on newspapers….atleast that ll make em more interesting to read!
Kudos TD
Ur fan,
KD
well in case u are wondering why he is not like a bat but still called a batman is becasue he is like a bat
he can definetly fly. they did not show much of that in the movie
he can also hang upside down. not in the movie again but u will see it next movie i think since with every movie they are progressing on the suit and stuff
the reason he was named batman was that he was afradi fo bats as u would know and then when his fear of the bat subsided he thought he should name himself batman because he thought that was scared him and now he has conquered his fear of it and now he wanted to see if he can set fear in the hearts of criminals.
Man, that was so funny
ROFL!!!
Nice post
Amzingly funny! I dont know how you do this but all of a sudden, I’m a Batman fan