Monthly Archive for September, 2008

Phone-tics for Children

Do you know  why you shouldn’t call  your friends who have kids  in the age range of 12-24 months?  Allow me to explain.

I called a friend of mine recently.  She has been extremely busy after she had had her baby.  So we didn’t talk in a long time.  I will let the conversation transcript speak for itself.

After some conversation.
Me: How is your son doing?  He should be close to 18 months right?
Friend: Ya!  He is very talkative these days!  He’s been grabbing the phone from me.  Here say hi to him.
Me: What!? No, wait wait…
(Silence on the phone)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say hello TD uncle
Son: (Silence)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say na

Vague sound of a wad of saliva landing on the mouthpiece and a tongue picking it up

Friend, who took the words “Don’t give up on your children” to heart: (Distant voice) Say hello TD uncle
Son: ga ga gaa ga
Friend: (Distant voice) GOOD JOB!  Did you hear that, TD?
Me: (Stunned Silence)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say something back to him TD
Me: Give the phone to your mommy

After a few minutes of this lively dialog between the child and me, my friends takes the phone back.

Friend: He really likes talking to you!
Me: Ya, it will be a delight talking to him when he learns a few more words
Friend: No, no he can say a lot of words.  He can say all ABCs.  Munnu, here say ABCs to TD uncle

Without checking if I was a consenting adult, the phone was handed back the child.

Son: (Silence)
Friend: (Distant voice) Say ABCs
Son: ga ga ga gaa
Friend: (Distant voice) You for got C munnu.  Say C, D, E
Son: ga ga gaa
Friend: (Distant voice) GOOD JOB!

I will spare you rest of the alphabet.  I hung up soon enough, promising to get her some information she needed.

I called her back a week later with the info.  But this time I was careful enough to call when she would not be home so I can just leave a voice mail.  When I got the her voice mail, here is the message:
Friends’ voice: Hi you’ve reached X, Y and (whispers ‘say it’… ‘say’) (Son’s voice) ga ga (Back to Friend in a giddy tone) Please leave us a message *beep*
I couldn’t leave a message because I was speechless.

You can imagine how happy I was when I got hold of her on chat.  Chat must be safe until her son learns to type.  Except…

Friend: Hang on, Munna is all over the laptop
Me: Ok
Friend: He wants to say something to you :)
Friend: .z..,zxcnv..a.,x

Most/least respected things in the US

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Update: Just wanted to mention that this picture got on the front page of digg.com and got around 2000 digs :)

In the Dark of the Knight

Nobody asked me to review the movie Dark Knight. So I am doing it.

The Dark Knight is a deliciously wonderful movie for anybody who grew up reading Batman comics.  I didn’t grow up reading Batman comics. 

In fact, I don’t even understand Batman.  What does Batman have in common with a bat other than the fact that they both are classified as mammals?  He can’t fly.  Nor can he generate ultrasonics.  I was waiting throughout the movie for the Batman to hang upside down on a tree, he didn’t do that either.  I was this close to demanding my money back.  Also, have you ever seen a bat fight bad guys?  You never did.  You know why?  Because they don’t.  All they do is hang in some dark corner; and when you get up on a building, lean on the wall and throw a stone, they fly up and scratch your face.  Hypothetically, I mean.

Let’s talk about the cast.  First of all, Christian Bale doesn’t look like a bat.  He looks more like a vulture.  He did his best to act and in a couple of scenes he actually showed some expressions.  I wish they didn’t make his mask so tight though.  Every time he wore it, it pinched his throat and his voice became very hoarse.  It’s got to be pretty darn annoying fighting bad guys while gasping for air.

There was this Joker too.  He was amazing.  Rest in peace, Mr. Ledger.

Most people don’t notice, but there is a heroine in the movie.  I saw cadavers livelier than her and blank whiteboards more interesting than her face.  She is like a decorative African art on a table – nobody knows why it is there and you won’t even notice it until it catches on fire.  That is precisely what happens in the movie.  She moves the story along only after she is dead.  (WARNING: There is a spoiler in the previous line)

I guess my biggest gripe with this movie is that batman is not even like a hero in the movie, forget superhero.  Batman gets beat up, hit by a car, bitten by dogs, shot at and slammed into a wall – in the first five minutes.  It gets worse after that.  What is missing in the movie is Batman’s mother so he could run whimpering to his mommy every time Joker outwits him.  And in a crowing moment of glory, batman ends the movie running away being chased by street dogs.

What I am saying is, overall, it’s a great movie.

I leave you with a few outtakes from the movie:

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Why I hate Costco bananas

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