Physical disability
Published August 20th, 2008Women proved themselves capable of excelling in every field. They completed Herculean missions; scaled insurmountable heights. But when it comes to Physics, they fail to grasp some basic physical laws. They either don’t understand these laws or have utter disregard for them. I believe a Physics 101 is in order.
Law of constant volume: The volume of an object is constant whichever way you bend it. So the statement, “We can’t fit all the clothes if you just stuff them in the bag. We need to fold the clothes properly” is not valid.
The law of uniform heat transference: It will take exactly the same amount of time for the wet towel to dry whether it is on the towel-hanger or on bed.
Law of non-magnetism of hands: Human hands do not act as magnets to bacteria, virus, germs and other vicious microbes. Therefore, washing hands more than twice a day is utter waste of one’s valuable time.
Newton’s First Law: “Don’t throw the car keys in the sofa, you will lose them” contradicts Newton’s First Law. The keys will continue to stay at rest on the sofa unless some restless force moves them.
Non-transitivity of physical objects: If person A touches an object and person B touches the same object, it is not equivalent to A and C touching and groping each other. So it is perfectly alright to share a soap among a bunch of people.
Law of conservation of mass: Whichever way you squeeze the toothpaste tube, the amount of toothpaste in the tube does not reduce.
Law of opacity: Light does not travel through opaque objects. Therefore, the state of disintegration of underwear is not visible to public through other opaque clothing. So it is perfectly safe to use underwear until it is reduced to a few strands of threads.
Law of fixed boiling point under constant pressure: The gasoline in the gas-tank does not instantly evaporate as soon as the gas indicator lights up
Law of sound not being in visual spectrum: Eyes don’t have to be focused on the source of sound to hear the sound. So when the eyes are looking at TV, ears can perfectly hear the sound coming out of somebody’s mouth.
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Hahaha!
and well i was bad at physics in school and was breaking my head on how i became so bad!
now i understand all women are bad at physics *wink*
ROFL!!!!
great going
and look up my blog
have ritten abt how to make those sexy, supple, white things!
Lol! This is hilarious. And so accurate. You make the mundane so funny!
too damn good.
Let me gently explain some of these laws to you.
Law of constant volume - Not true. You see, when clothes are crumpled, they have “air pockets” in them - hence they consume more space. This is not about mass remember!
The law of uniform heat transference: Err no. On a towel hanger, the towel “faces” air on both sides. Hence drying is faster, however, on the bed, the towel is ON the bed, in contact with a surface that doesn’t allow the towel to dry. Or worse, absorbs moisture from the towel.
So on and so forth. Sigh, men!
too good.. way too good…
LOL!!!!
I’m guilty of the gasoline one. Must send this to my Boy.
ROTFL.. too good.. I am taking a print out of this home as we have the same “lack” of Physics knowledge….
Absolutely hilarious……
Welcome back bro. and this A1 Hilarious. Loved the law for sharing the soap!
Are u kidding ? All the statements prove u do have a TWISTED DNA. Funny, even though statements about women are fictitious and output of typical male thinking !
Lovely post - am guilty of many of these ones, as my long suffering sons will assure you LOLLL
HAHA
i agree with u Neha!
Man!! This is hilarious!!
Almost spewed a mouthful of coffee on the monitor!!
How do you know us women so well????
Awesome!!!!
Rightly said… For all those in favor need not comment!!!
Hey, how much did my husband pay you to write this?
“Law of opacity: Light does not travel through opaque objects. Therefore, the state of disintegration of underwear is not visible to public through other opaque clothing. So it is perfectly safe to use underwear until it is reduced to a few strands of threads.”
Men, bah!
I disagree uniformly,,,just because
Neha is right.
Why the love for shredded undies?
AArggghhh the Y chromosome!!
I disagree uniformly,,,just because
Neha is right.
Why the love for shredded undies?
AArggghhh the Y chromosome!!
I disagree uniformly,,,just because
Neha is right.
Why the love for shredded undies?
AArggghhh the Y chromosome!!
WTF….
I could take the pains of trying to make u understand things like “more surface area exposed to air , faster evaporation, hence faster drying of the towel” but then i resign to the fact that you are a man!!
:D
hmmmm “twisting” the rules to suit us, are we?
how much did you say you scored in physics while in school?
Hmm…men..tsk, tsk…what do THEY know about physics?
You flunked Physics 101 for misinterpretations didn’t you?
You can;t account for weight averages (for cloth and air) while conserving mass..
You don;t know the effect of surface area per unit volume on evaporation
You don’t know Life Sciences 101 either or you’d know just how germs get to the skin. Neither do you know _Any_ thing about hygiene and aesthetics, but that’s so not surprising.
You forget your own Newton’s first law when you look for the keys when you need them at every place except the sofa where you threw them, and from where they obviously cannot move on their own.
And darling, differentiate between voluntary and involuntary functions of the body. Without concentration, hearing is involuntary therefore it wil happen, but since listening is not, you still don’t know what you were told.
In short, you’re brilliant.
Haha awesome!!! Law of opacity and Law of sound not being in the visual spectrum - how typical!
Funny, funny post ..:D
though i do not agree with anything you’ve said there…
sharing soap..?!! ugh!!!
could explain a few things, but then you are a man,
i give up!!!
:P
why don’t men understand that many people drinlking water st from bottle does amount to smooching
or husband wearing his bro’s or father’s clothes is a tabboo if he wants to come near his wife….
or the bath bucket & mug shud be separate from potty bucket & mug - and that is not becoz the potty bucket might have shit stuck to it!!
i cud go on and fail in your physics exam…
Zanychild:
The physics of life is what we are talking about 
now i understand all women are bad at physics
Well, they are probably good at academic physics
have ritten abt how to make those sexy, supple, white things!
Haha, I am sure all men are crazily clicking on your link - I am sure they will be disappointed.
D:
You make the mundane so funny!
Thank you thank you!
Swapnil:
too damn good.
:)
neha:
Let me gently explain
Was that gentle? Don’t want to know how it would be if you were not gentle
they have “air pockets” in them
)
But you are forgetting the “law of air not contained by porous material”. So when you sit on the top of the suitcase, the air would come out and everything will fit. (”you” is used generally here. I am not implying you are heavy
Or worse, absorbs moisture from the towel.
Exactly! Hence the towel dries faster! I rest my case.
Sanchit:
Thank you
OrangeJammies:
I’m guilty of the gasoline one
Haha. I am almost picture you panicking and shouting
Vijay:
I am taking a print out of this home as we have the same “lack” of Physics knowledge….
Do me a favor. Scratch out the URL and any other identification marks
Sharat:
Absolutely hilarious……
Thank you
Dinesh:
and this A1 Hilarious.
Thanks
Loved the law for sharing the soap!
Right? I don’t know what the big deal is!
Meena:
All the statements prove u do have a TWISTED DNA
Lol, that is one thing we don’t need a proof for
statements about women are fictitious and output of typical male thinking !
Typical male thinking? Yes. Fictitious, I don’t think so
Ritu Lalit:
my long suffering sons will assure you LOLLL
Think of it this way, you are just preparing your sons for the real world
Zanychild:
i agree with u Neha!
You are all female chauvinists!
Whencutdeep:
Man!! This is hilarious!!
Thank you
Almost spewed a mouthful of coffee on the monitor!!
Good you didn’t! No reason to waste a perfectly good coffee!
nimi:
How do you know us women so well
If you live with one, you lived with them all. Ok, that didn’t sound good. I guess I should say I have enough experience
Awesome!!!!
Thank you
Abhinav:
Rightly said… For all those in favor need not comment!!!
Interesting, as you notice only women commented. I am guessing all men concur
Inbavalli:
Ok, next post is about women and jewellery. Taking offer now.
Hey, how much did my husband pay you to write this?
Haha! You know, I never thought about such business opportunities
Nandini Vishwanath:
Men, bah!
If men wear torn underwear it’s uncool. If women wear threads, they are called lingerie! Unfair!
La Vida Loca:
I disagree uniformly
Why am I not surprised
Neha is right.
I see a mutiny in development!
Why the love for shredded undies?
See reply to Nandini.
Paradox Phillic:
WTF….
Whole and Total Fun? Why, thank you!
i resign to the fact that you are a man!!
I wish more people take your lead
whatsinaname:
hmmmm “twisting” the rules to suit us, are we?
haha, good one.
how much did you say you scored in physics while in school?
I didn’t say anything and me and my parents are trying to forget those emotional scars.
Shobana:
Hmm…men..tsk, tsk…what do THEY know about physics
Not much. Just enough to realize physics need not be emotional
phoenix:
You flunked Physics 101 for misinterpretations didn’t you?
No personal attacks! Especially when they are true
Without concentration, hearing is involuntary
What did you say? Sorry I was looking at the TV
In short, you’re brilliant.
Thank you! Honored
Sriram:
Law of opacity and Law of sound not being in the visual spectrum - how typical!
Ya!
suma:
though i do not agree with anything you’ve said there…
Ya, what’s new
sharing soap..?!! ugh!!!
Haha! When I was a bachelor working in India, I and 3 of my roommates used to share the same soap AND towel
but then you are a man, i give up!!!
You should extend the same courtesy to your husband 
Of course you give up because you got nothing to lose
itchingtowrite:
why don’t men understand that many people drinlking water st from bottle does amount to smooching
Haha! you are pointing out the things I missed. What’s with this “can’t use the same spoon, can’t use the same bottle”! I got into trouble for it once
or husband wearing his bro’s or father’s clothes is a tabboo if he wants to come near his wife….
ROFL!
or the bath bucket & mug shud be separate from potty bucket & mug - and that is not becoz the potty bucket might have shit stuck to it!!
Haha. Let me guess, after washing your hands, you don’t touch the bathroom handles
This should be the new world order………….and every human should abide by it….those who oppose it..special classes should be held for them.
Some addendums:
* if you throw the bag at the sofa, it will remain there so that you can take from there only.
*sleeping on the couch tests the strngth of the material.
My physics professor banged his head to get me to learn the laws!
i seemed to always hav the starting trouble and he the finishing trouble!
\\Haha, I am sure all men are crazily clicking on your link - I am sure they will be disappointed.//
LOL u r right lots of ppl. jumped from ur page to my page- so says my track o meter!
;)
Lol, this could have been from my dad to my mum
And I couldn’t agree more!
After AGES, a post that i totally loved. Its a man’s perspective all right - down to the shield of “physics” to explain essential man-isms.
Oh, and it will be a fundoo idea to use your bed to dry all the towels at home - right? esp. in winters? We also take a bath in the evening.
Hehe! Very funny!
What about the Law of Diminishing Returns? :” The more you ask me the question ‘Do I look fat?”, the more you are likely to get an answer that will displease you completely?”
Hey… i am poor in physics… very strange… till today i am poor in physics than bio and chem …
Hey I wrote a blog post a few days back on how certain Westernized Women overuse their perfume. You are my inspiration for me writing some funny posts once a while. So as your Eklavya I would like to dedicate this post to you Pour Femme. Don’t ask for my thumb finger though. When you find time, please read it and let me know your comments. Sorry for doing a shameless blog marketing, but I thought It was worth a try.
nda (and his species),
- Law of constant volume: This must come as a shock, but a dishwasher can take a sinkful more stuff than the 3 plates and 2 pans that guys throw in. You just need to ‘fold’ them in right
Same applies to a suitcase. Think Tetris.
- A toothpaste tube is a toothpaste tube, and not something you wish it were. And squeezing it in weird places isn’t going to change that.
- Law of conservation of the Laws of Physics - The laws of physics will remain the same, no matter how you bend them, twist them, mix them up and ‘apply’ them.
-Hilarious post (and one of your best), but I say that as you watch TV
-g
Ahem. I will have you know that I very politely state my point and save my breath for actually pushing the damn car.
I don’t know why I did it, but you’ve been awarded. Hop over to my page to pick it up.
OMG! You are such a TYPICAL guy!
hey! my blog update for all those who got disappointed wen they jumped to my blog to see how to make those sexy, supple, white things!
i have ritten now abt the advantages of being single and all tht idiot stuff ppl. do wen they think they r in Luv!!
and this comment is purely ritten for commercial purposes to promote my blog *wink*
so click on my link to make this promotion a success *bigger wink*
zanychild
Driving people insane as always
:) You never fail to bring smile on my face … be it your posts .. or your replies to the comments on your blog …
Hurray!
cheers to me!
I hav finished reading each and every post of your from the first!!
just sad i finished it all so soon
Will watch out for more rib tickling stuff in the coming days!!
Cheers
All smiles
“The keys will continue to stay at rest on the sofa unless some restless force moves them.”
Well, the problem is that the person (read husband) who left it on the sofa won’t remember an hour later where he left it, whether any restless force removed it or not and will seek the services of the wife to hunt for it. Right?
Hey TD,
been reading your blog for ages now and like many of your posts! cheers!
I have a doubt and hope you will be able to help….
did you write a post on how stars become megastars and superstars and how starlets are given such names? It starts with a VIT story.
If I am not mistaken, will you please send me that post, because I want to forward it to a pal, who has just finished a piece on Chiru.
cheers and happy blogging!
romila
Hey…Thanks a lot for your comment on my blog
You are awesome. It means a lot to me comin from a professional like you ….Ur posts are too funny man…I guess weird people think alike.
rahul:
This should be the new world order
It is! Some people just dont’ want to see it
sleeping on the couch tests the strngth of the material.
We are doomed to that plight, huh
Zanychild:
lots of ppl. jumped from ur page to my page
You know what kind of people read a blog of this kind
peeves:
Lol, this could have been from my dad to my mum
Haha. My son is too young to type otherwise I would’ve assumed it’s him
How do we know:
After AGES, a post that i totally loved
I learned the art of just looking at the compliment in such sttements
down to the shield of “physics” to explain essential man-isms
ROLF. Truth is always bitter
it will be a fundoo idea to use your bed to dry all the towels at home - right?
Yes. See the towel dries quicker and it absorbs the moisture back from the bed and the bed dries too! Win-win!
Rada:
What about the Law of Diminishing Returns? :” The more you ask me the question ‘Do I look fat?”, the more you are likely to get an answer that will displease you completely?”
Haha. Law of diminishing returns alright, because after the “wrong answer”, returns of every kind will definitely diminish
lalitha:
i am poor in physics… very strange… till today i am poor in physics than bio and chem …
You sound like my younger self. Oh wait, I am still like that. You sound like me.
Dinesh:
Quite honored. More credit than I deserve. Will see you in your blog.
gauri:
a dishwasher can take a sinkful more stuff than the 3
Oh my god! You Dishwasher tyrant too! Let me explain this to you. All human action in life must be done with one goal only, maximizing the TV viewing time. Why spend the time shuffling the stuff in dishwasher! Let the load run and the remaining dishes will go in the next load. The amount you spend doing advanced dish-acrobatics, you could use wisely by watching TV.
A toothpaste tube is a toothpaste tube, and not something you wish it were.
ROFL! Just to honor the spectacular imagination, I am not rebutting the statement.
Law of conservation of the Laws of Physics
You are the one who bend the laws! The bending of laws is directly proportional to the hormone level and time of the month
OrangeJammies:
I very politely state my point
Don’t forget now I have a point of cross-reference
I don’t know why I did it, but you’ve been awarded. Hop over to my page to pick it up.
Ya, why would you do such insane thing! It’s a little too far to hop, I will walk over and get it. (Don’t you love my jokes)
MS CUTE PANTS:
OMG! You are such a TYPICAL guy!
OMG, YES!
Zanychild:
this comment is purely ritten for commercial purposes to promote my blog
No disclaimer needed. People figure out that stuff easily
Sravya:
Thank you Sravya!
Zanychild:
I hav finished reading each and every post of your from the first!!
Thank you for reading them and leaving comments on almost all of them. You have a lot of patience!
ladybird:
will seek the services of the wife to hunt for it. Right?
Nah. The wife is always ready with the keys and “I told you so”
romila:
Nope no idea about the post:) Not mine.
C-lay:
You are welcome
Damn funny post. Cleared most of my concepts of physics. Keep illuminating us with such inspiring insights.
Sarath
So damn funny…Mr DNA
U’ve calculated the equations between women n physics quite brilliantly…
I’m sending a link to this post via email to all my female friends ASAP..
Quote unquote my husband…”perfect, puurrrrrfect, print this out….quick”
What do you do????
You’re crazy….you guys just dont understand the laws of wifety…hmppffff….constants and laws…
lol…hilarious!
Just hilarious.loved it.How have you been doing.stopping here after a long time.
Been a while since I got to do some bloghopping,hey T-DNA, a post of humour,that’s cool, funny and insightful ……..your usual Trademark humour is enough to keep me laughing loud for the day….:)
hehe!!
i agree so totally!! esp since i KNOW my towel dries just about anywhere! :p
cheers!
abha
Heh good one. I’ve often wondered about those things. Hanging out on flickr I wish there was a way I could ‘fave’ this post
LOL! Brilliant.
Arun
oops… looks like you need to go back to 11th standard for a physics class… not 101 tho! and then you can give us a lesson on Newton’s third law, that’s the coolest law of physics!
Now those are rules that I ought to remind my husband and son of. Hint: Males can be as finicky as females, and in many of the same things.
Congratulations to your significant other, who has you well trained on her likes and dislikes!
;)
I would have send this to the husband. But he will get more ideas. He butchers enough physics as it were.
Lovely post !
Law of constant volume
Wonder why people dont transport dining tables via the door and take it in piece by piece.
The law of uniform heat transference
Try sitting right under the ac duct and then at the other end of the corridor.
Law of non-magnetism of hands
Groooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssss !
Newton’s First Law
Then maybe the guys should try finding it themselves without going “ma have u seen my keys, I kept them on the sofa”
Non-transitivity of physical objects
Gross again!
Law of conservation of mass
Well, thats the difference, women make sure even the toothpaste tube looks presentable.
Law of opacity
As long as you are wearing underwear !
you could just walk around in a jacket all day ! they are opaque too, u neednt even wear a shirt !
Law of fixed boiling point under constant pressure
context??
Law of sound not being in visual spectrum
This is a constant source of #$%$^$% . You look at the person speaking to acknowledge that you are indeed listening. The attention makes a difference.
Walk into a store the next time and try asking for some urgent info, if the receptionist is busy looking at the tv but nods at u and raises a hand in the general direction of the next person u can speak to, how much of ur law still stands?
but hey, not a bad way to start the day ! Made me smile … Just hope that lasts all day!
hello idiot
Your first law exposes your idiocy.
The idea behind folding and packing is that by doing that you eliminate vaccum being packed. If you didnt understand that, well, you are a worse idiot than the women you are trying to make fun of.
BTW, I am not a woman.
Enna kodumai Saravanan Idhu
Hilarious! Got referred to from DesiPundit! I’m adding you to my blogroll!
Hilarious!
(that’s probably the 23,134th time that’s been said on this blog, give or take a few hundred) But what, no law of “leaving the toilet seat up” that men seem hardwired with? 
Sarath:
Cleared most of my concepts of physics
Exactly. Wiping the slate clean is the intention
Diana Sahu:
So damn funny…Mr DNA
Thank you
U’ve calculated the equations between women n physics quite brilliantly…
What I didn’t calculate is that for every action there is equal and opposite reaction. I am getting pretty bad reactions on this
akilan:
I’m sending a link to this post via email to all my female friends ASAP
To women? Quick, let’s go hide.
prats:
What do you do????
Do as the husband says
You’re crazy
Yawn, what’s new?
laws of wifety…hmppffff….constants and laws…
With wifey there are only constraints and in-laws
buddy:
lol…hilarious!
Thank you
starry nights:
Just hilarious.loved it.
Thanks Lalitha!
How have you been doing.stopping here after a long time.
Doing OK so far. I am getting nightmares that a bunch of women are going to beat me up soon though
lera:
Hey Lera! Glad to see you! Now get to blogging, chop chop
Abha:
i agree so totally!! esp since i KNOW my towel dries just about anywhere!
You must be guy writing under a gender-crossed name
mosilager:
Dr.Mosi! There is only one law in the first year: “yes dear”
Hanging out on flickr I wish there was a way I could ‘fave’
Lol, so that’s where you are hanging these days.
Arunk:
Thanks Arun
RZD:
looks like you need to go back to 11th standard for a physics class
I need to go back to 11th grade for a lot of things
Newton’s third law, that’s the coolest law of physics!
I thought coolest laws of physics are in thermodynamics
Sujatha:
Hint: Males can be as finicky as females, and in many of the same things.
This is interesting! You should totally blog about this.
Congratulations to your significant other
Alfred E Neuman?
who has you well trained on her likes and dislikes!
Well trained? Let me put it this way, when the exhaust fan stops in the kitchen, I start salivating
Oh wife
A Cynic in Wonderland:
I would have send this to the husband.
Give me the email, I will send it to him
Lovely post
Thank you
myths:
Wonder why people dont transport dining tables via the door
They do. It’s quite hard to sneak out a dining table throug the window. I know. I tried.
Try sitting right under the ac duct and then at the other end of the corridor.
I do! There is an AC duct right above my head and the conference rooms are other end of the hallway. Why do you keep telling me to do things I already tried!
“ma have u seen my keys, I kept them on the sofa”
If ‘ma’ has seen them on the sofa, there would definitely be some external force to move them to the key hanger!
Well, thats the difference, women make sure even the toothpaste tube looks presentable.
You mean,that’s the *problem*
As long as you are wearing underwear !
You wouldn’t know would you! Law of opacity
Walk into a store the next time and try asking for some urgent info, if the receptionist is busy looking at the tv
I do expect him to pay attention because I am paying him. If I am getting paid, I would pay attention too *hint hint*
Made me smile … Just hope that lasts all day!
Happy smiles.
There is nothing to hope, smiling all day is a choice one can make
naalupennugal:
Your first law exposes your idiocy.
Just the first law?
The idea behind folding and packing is that by doing that you eliminate vaccum being packed.
Now that’s a “As seen on TV” idea! Let’s make a product that eliminates vacuum in packed bags. We will call it “The Vacuum Sucker”.
BTW, I am not a woman.
No way!
Enna kodumai Saravanan Idhu
Wow, that’s a pretty long name
Kris Bass:
Hilarious! Got referred to from DesiPundit! I’m adding you to my blogroll!
Cool, thank you
shub:
Thank you 
that’s probably the 23,134th time that’s been said on this blog, give or take a few hundred
LOL. Do you see me complain?
But what, no law of “leaving the toilet seat up” that men seem hardwired with?
But the toilet seat comes automatically back to it’s position. No?
Now we understand why the guys lack physics knowledge. just kidding.
Shucks..should have paid more attension to Physics and less to Comon Sense. Good post. I hope you will never have to face Newton’s third law at home now.
so hilarious…its extremely hilarious to read things which are soooo untrue! so sad..u havent got the facts right…snifff…snifff…;D LOL… keep up the good work man..atleast u are making a few sad souls laugh! ;D
Mr. DNA no new post???…its over a week now!!!!
ROTFL!
Very funny…
This is really awesome. Most of them are dear to my heart –except these two (and in the long chain of replies if these points have been told already then I beg your pardon for repeating the stuff, but I really did not go through all the comments)
1. Packing clothes: Of course, it does not change the volume but it improves the packing ratio (which is a proper co-efficient in solid state physics)
2. Towels do take time to dry on beds because the surface area available is less.
You’ve been awarded!!!
ROTFL… brilliant!
hhehehe! absolutely HILARIOUS
some things women neva get …
i guess… even i dnt get it
come pick up an award
come pick up an award
Ah men!!Siiiiiggghhhhh. . .they always get it all wrong. .
Leaving the physics n reality out , this was a great post. .Almost fell off my chair laughing
I will never let my husband visit your page !!!
tho i most certainly will, that was hilarious ROTFL !!!
Terrific post!! Well keeping in mind the humour quotient in the post, people shud also take it that way. Whether we you like it or not…the post tickles ur laughter bone and makes u think…ummmmmm hmmmmmmm yeah man this does happen!! so please dont go into explaining science to him…i m sure if he has written it he knows how to bend it… all in all a treat to the readers.
You do realize that the angst with most of this has absolutely nothing to do with Physics? That said, hilarious as always
HAhahaha! This was funny! Did you get beat to pulp by your wife?!
:D
It’s not only Physics, I think they face difficulty with anything to do with numbers, laws and rules(not the rules that they make)
Take Maths..
1.) Probability(in Mathematical terms) that you will shake hands with a person in a Party with 500 people, does not depends on the look of the Person.
2.) MRP of products will remain same, even if you buy it from two different shops.
3.) Human brain is able to grasp what you tell human in just one time. You dont need to repeat it 10 times.
Well.. i will leave it at thr for time being.