Gynecological amusement
Published June 27th, 2008If you are a woman visiting the gynecologist, you have plenty to occupy yourself with. But for a guy who is accompanying, willingly or otherwise, there is nothing to do other than stare at the walls. If you want to avoid getting bored out of your mind, you need to find something to do. Anything. Here are a few tips to keep yourself amused.
* Every gynecologist’s office has stacks of pregnancy magazines. Go through them and find pictures of pregnant woman who are air-brushed to perfection, like these:
Use your pen and imagination to add bad hair, a few stretch marks and, in general, make them look more natural.
Add the confused and scared husband too, if you so please.
Time killed: 15 minutes
———-
Time killed: 5 minutes (Varies depending on how thorough you are)
———-
Time killed: 3 minutes
———-
Time killed: 15-30 minutes, depending on the size of audience
———-
Time killed: 5 minutes. (30 minutes if they call security)
———-
* Go to the sign-in sheet and enter the name, “Aineed Tupee” in there. Wait for the nurse to come out a few minutes later and shout,
“Aineed Tupee … AINEED TUPEE”
Time killed: 1 minute
———-
* Every gynecologist’s waiting room has a huge chart describing all available forms of contraceptives for women. The charts even have professionally photographed pictures (No, not of women wearing them!). Go to that chart. Look at each contraceptive and “expand” it into something else. For example, take IUD (Copper T):
You can turn it into:
Time killed: 20 minutes (1+ hours if you pack paints and stuff beforehand)
———-
* Did you notice every gynecologist’s waiting room has humongous posters of “Female Reproductive System”? Something like this:
I may not be able to crack the mystery that puzzled mankind since the beginning of time. Why do they hang it on the walls there? But I can tell you that, with a dextrous finger, you can use the diagram to perfect your technique.
Time killed: Limited only by your imagination (0 minutes if children are present)
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Aineed Tupee
LOL..Don’t tell me you have done all this!!!
:D
Going to pap smear is a torture. Great ideas there to kill time!
That girl is not pregnant at all!! Where is the double chin, Jolie lips and “mommy glow”? They just put a stomach on a skinny model and fool us! Bah?
You have to draw few lines on the boobs too, they get triple expansion!!
Hilarious!!! The saree below navel post was equally funny.
That’s GROSS buddy.Trash as this isn’t expected of you.
Oh, me god… this is one wacko post…
infact i do something similar when i take mom or granpa to doc.., make fun faces with the posters and magazines there… and then pretend like i dint do the doodling or drawing… hehehe….
:D
So you’ve been killing time out there…and how!!!
I agree with those gross looking models on these posters….how come we normal people
never look so sexy while pregnant??
Loved the Dinosaur….very creative.
ROLF
the day dawns very well!
Nowhere close to your older standards dude. You write way, way, way better than this.
- An ardent fan
That sounds like experience and research speaking…
Have to agree with ABCD
rofl@Aineed Tupee & scared husband cartoon!
expected a return of the mummies(attacking) on this one while reading thru but
few guys have taken the lead aweady.hehe.
keep ‘em coming, you ROCK….like totally!
Coool..! I haven’t been to any of these medical centers but when I will, surely I am gonna remember you!
Aineed Tupee..
LOL..Did you really write this based on your experience??
Asha:
Going to pap smear is a torture.
Ya, I can’t imagine how women go through it!
Where is the double chin, Jolie lips and “mommy glow”? They just put a stomach on a skinny model and fool us! Bah?
haha, exactly! Just to make actual pregnant people feel bad about themselves!
You have to draw few lines on the boobs too, they get triple expansion!!
You didn’t think I forgot about it, did you? How can I ignore such nature’s best phenomenon? I was trying to be uncharacterstically gentlemanly
Rose:
Thank you
Deepak:
Trash as this isn’t expected of you.
Haha. You know me too well
Aaarti:
Oh, me god… this is one wacko post…
As opposed to?
make fun faces with the posters and magazines there… and then pretend like i dint do the doodling or drawing… hehehe….
haha… so there are more people like me
prats:
how come we normal people never look so sexy while pregnant??
Because we rarely airbrush ourselves in real life
Loved the Dinosaur….very creative.
Thank you.. and really, I did it all myself and didn’t take help from my 3 year old son
La Vida Loca:
I knew you would get it
ABCD:
Nowhere close to your older standards dude
Yes, it is time I set the expectations right
An ardent fan
I am very disappointed wit your taste
phoenix:
That sounds like experience and research speaking
Well, some experience some wishful thinking
Nitin:
Have to agree with ABCD
Have to give the same reply as ABCD
clueless:
expected a return of the mummies(attacking)
Haha.. me too
keep ‘em coming
Thank you very much!
Y2A:
I haven’t been to any of these medical centers but when I will, surely I am gonna remember you!
As much as I resent the mental connection between me and gynecologists, I thank you for the thought
Karthik
LOL..Did you really write this based on your experience
Parts of it, but not going to tell you which parts
This is going down as one my faves! 5 stars!(on a scale of 5 ..just FYI)
I laughed so much!
lol…..what horror! IM still a student and after reading these and few other married couples-gynec-type posts, have even more reasons for wanting to remain a student forever!
Airbrushed pictures of Women who r pregnant to look like perfection., yea they really deviate from the truth dont they!
lol., this was funny.
hey DNA
LOL @pics!
I hate all kinds of docs anyways!
Keshi.
Well, DNA…
“Aineed Tupee” indeed.
I’ve been a Simpsons fan for years, where Bart asks for “Jazz, first name Hugh”, “Miss Hugginkis, first name Amanda”, “Sexual, first name Homer…” etc etc etc
This gag never gets old…
:D
so you have been perfecting your ‘technique’ with that dextrous
finger..lolz….awesome as ever…keep them coming!!!!
Aiyyo! Such a dirty mind you have re!
You are having another kid?
Even when you are obnoxious you are so funny!
Blogrolling you now!
Man, this post is not even PG-13 , its some NC-17 kinda post!
Even I liked the Copper T Rex.
-Nikhil
Oh Mannnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! How can u be sooo creative…hehe
Awesome Man!!! She is “One” sexy Pregnant woman !!!!
I now hereby declare tht I am an ardent devotee of ur writings….hehe!!!
Hay Hay Nayaka!!!
Rgds,
Kalyan
In true TD form, you rock. And guess who’s accompanying me to my next gyn visit. Book that ticket.
hahaha!! whatay post!
Esp the last one..about dextrous fingers!
Twisted man!!
Blogrolling you…
Cheers!
Never ever would i again read your posts –in Office!!
must have seen whats on my desktop! shit!
I had just typed your url and pressed enter and there entered a colleague of mine in my cubicle
dude.. a request.. please do not post such pics in such a way that they appear on the front screen of the desktop! Couldnt you put the Copper - T rex as the top photograph .. so i could hv known what might be coming next..
Anyways.. the post was very hilarious.. Awesome twisted pics!!
Good imagination! Copper T-Rex was the best.
Spot on. I’ve talked about this, and sent the link to others, it’s so funny. Just getting around to commenting and sending my kudos!
How long was your wife’s appointment??
You’re funny as usual man… but I probably wouldn’t ask you to come to the appt. if I were your wife (come on… Aneed Tupee?
)
Truly a public service post!
hahahahaha!!
i wasted most of my time trying to get wicked witch nurse’s
attention that i was next in line while she gave me the royal
ignore!! sigh!!!
making all pregant woman run to check if their water broke!!
mean mean man!!
awesome post!!
now to make my office laugh!!
cheers!
abha
Every post of urs makes to LOL…
BTW, hw many hours did u spend in the clinic?
Gross. I loved it!!
Has your inspiration for this post.. seen this?
LOL..Again LOL!!!
Wish you had posted few weeks earlier and I would have safely(?) left )left hubby in the waiting room instead having him with me in the gynaecs examining room. He was extremely helpful in making it more of a nightmare nightmare than imagined
The ‘Got tested’ post here: http://alwayshappykya.wordpress.com/2008/06/20/got-tested/
y dont u put a disclaimer saying that this blog shudnt b read at the work place? im getting too many stares for laughing out at regular intervals looking at the monitor.
La Vida Loca :
Anjana:
have even more reasons for wanting to remain a student forever
There is only one way to avoid gynecologists
Arvind:
yea they really deviate from the truth
Deviate? Truth is nowhere in sight
Keshi:
Glad to see you here Kesh!
hammy:
This gag never gets old…
Lol ya. I wanted to use “Suk Mai Dik”. But thought it was inappropriate for the post! (can you imagine that!)
rahul:
so you have been perfecting your ‘technique’ with that dextrous finger
These are, ahem, suggestions only
awesome as ever
Thank you
Gagu:
Aiyyo! Such a dirty mind you have re!
Haha… I know. To keep articles this decent has been an effort
Shreemoyee:
You are having another kid?
No I am not pregnant.
D:
Even when you are obnoxious you are so funny!
Two compliments in one line! Thank you!
Blogrolling you now!
Thanks for that too
Nikhil Narayanan:
Man, this post is not even PG-13 , its some NC-17 kinda post!
Lol. The kinds of stuff kids get these days… what I wrote is more like boring sex-ed class for them
Kalyan:
How can u be sooo creative…hehe
Necessity is the mother of invention
I now hereby declare tht I am an ardent devotee of ur writings
thank you.
I am honored
Hay Hay Nayaka!!!
ROFL! I need to get a cool “gadha” like “gatodgaja”
OrangeJammies:
And guess who’s accompanying me to my next gyn visit. Book that ticket.
Haha. In your case, it would be more fun to be next to you and do live blogging and drive you up the wall than wait outside
Venkatdeep:
Twisted man!!
To the core
Blogrolling you…
Thank you
Reema:
Never ever would i again read your posts –in Office!!
In office, phew. I thought you shunned me forever
colleague of mine in my cubicle
must have seen whats on my desktop
Men looking at such pictures is more dangerous 
Hmmm… woman looking at pregnant lady pics is OK, right? He would have assumed you are pregnant
Couldnt you put the Copper - T rex as the top photograph
But what you said is fair too.
The ordering of bullet points is a highly researched and controversial subject
Dinesh:
Good imagination! Copper T-Rex was the best.
My imaginations works best on completely useless things
Gnightgirl:
This post is more enjoyed by people who are familiar with the terms and procedures of gynecologists.
Glad to hear it
Zhu:
How long was your wife’s appointment
Forever
You’re funny as usual man
Thank you thank you!
I probably wouldn’t ask you to come to the appt
You just dashed all my hopes
if I were your wife (come on… Aneed Tupee? :lol
I am the best at juvenile humor
Smita:
Truly a public service post!
Lol! That’s it! I expected more from a doc!
Abha:
If you fall on the floor and flap around shouting “I got stabbed”, she would ask to see the knife first before letting you in.
i wasted most of my time trying to get wicked witch nurse’s attention
Nurses attention! In your dreams
awesome post
Thank you
Diana:
Every post of urs makes to LOL…
Thank you! Hard to live up to your compliment… I will try
BTW, hw many hours did u spend in the clinic?
What can I say, I get bored easily
Vidooshak:
Gross. I loved it!!
Lol, you are my kind of person
bluespriite:
Has your inspiration for this post.. seen this?
We already talked about it in email so skipping…
AlwayHappyKya:
At least you have been nice and let the hubby have some entertainment 
No amount of preparation could’ve saved you what you went through
L Preetha:
y dont u put a disclaimer saying that this blog shudnt b read at the work place
I could, but how will that help you, you are still a student
hey TC… I have read every single post on your blog and I am in love with your writing style. When I’m at work and have too much work pressure I read your blog and start rolling with laughter. You are too cool and I am a big big fan… would love to meet you in person someday. I have a blog too, just started writing recently, please give me some tips if you can. Please please please write more and faster!! You’re fantastic. This post was CRAZZY!!
Stumbled upon your blog…. and glad that i did.
You are really funny, man!… and very innovative too…
its hilarious! I really laughed my gut out!
dear T-DNA,
d pics r a ltl.. well u kno.. lolz..
came across ur blog by chance.. absolutely love t..
t 2k me one week, bt nw i cn proudly say tht i ve read each n every one of ur posts.. my mom freaked out whn she saw me readin d above post
bt made her read a cpl o ur milder posts n she 2 loves ur mastery over d language..
ur experience t d dentist’s wz a throughly enjoyable read.. esp cz i’m gonna b 1 in abt 5 yrs.. nice 2 kno tht d wisdom teeth f ppl r always thre 4 me in times f economic crisis..
i wz thinkin f startin a blog myself.. bt m really a newcmr.. so m nt really confident enuf 2 do t yet..
as 4 d blog, keep up d good work.. i have been laughin hysterically 4 d past cpl f days.. lookin 4ward 2 new posts..
p.s. does ur wife read ur blog?
Yewwwwwwwwwwwwww! Not nice:(
Update your blog. What are you busy with - hitting on smart women?!
too cool- r u this fun in person??
Dude…. I am a big fan… really waiting for you to write more… come on….
Awesome blog you’ve got!! bookmarking you!
hahaha…suprb ideas..keep them coming..what on Earth would people do in there vella time had you not been kind enough to publish them?!?!
Ha ha ha ha! Loved the Aineed Tupee gag..!
Unbrindled imagination at work, eh? Glad I added you to my blogroll!
Take care!
Mini:
I have read every single post on your blog
Do you want me to call 911?
I am in love with your writing style
Thank you very much. Always nice to hear that.
would love to meet you in person someday
Pick one multiple personality of mine to meet
please give me some tips if you can.
Paradox Phillic:
Most people, once they stumble here, quickly close the window and wash their eyes with Pinesol. 
Stumbled upon your blog…. and glad that i did.
I am glad you are glad
You are really funny, man!… and very innovative too…
Thank you very much!
lalitha:
its hilarious! I really laughed my gut out!
See a gynecologist immediately… wait my mind is still on that subject
Thank you
Arunima:
came across ur blog by chance.. absolutely love t..
Good. The way you started, I thought you were going to ask me to make sure nobody discovers it by chance
every one of ur posts..
Thank you. Not many people survive such hardship
my mom freaked out whn she saw me readin d above post. d pics r a ltl.. well u kno.. lolz..
Haha… My mom doesn’t even know I have a blog – for obvious reasons
bt made her read a cpl o ur milder posts n she 2 loves ur mastery over d language..
I am glad she didn’t ground you and cut your internet connection 
Thank you
esp cz i’m gonna b 1 in abt 5 yrs
Ah now I see the ulterior motive of this comment! Back off lady, I got all my wisdom tooth removed!
so m nt really confident enuf 2 do t yet..
I always tell people… if I can do it, you can do it too. When I started my first blog, I couldn’t construct a good post (this blog is my second incarnation). I got better over time, there is still so much to get better at but I definitely improved from when I started. So if you go at it with iron-will and keep writing (and keep punishing poor readers in the process), you WILL get better and better.
p.s. does ur wife read ur blog?
Yes. And no she hasn’t left me yet.
Ok:
Yewwwwwwwwwwwwww! Not nice
Ya, the gynecologist’s offices are not nice at all!
Paro:
Update your blog. What are you busy with - hitting on smart women?!
Not any more… after they started hitting me back – literally
artnavy:
But yes I do try to be as much fun, to utter dismay of people around me 
too cool- r u this fun in person??
Well the jury is still out on that one
Mini:
really waiting for you to write more
I should try to write more often
Sriram:
bookmarking you!
Thank you
hideindisguise:
What took you so long to read the post? It’s not like you are bush these days
what on Earth would people do in there vella
Exactly! I should get some humanitarian award or something
Akshaya:
Unbrindled imagination at work
Haven’t you heard? Idle man’s brain is devil’s restroom
Glad I added you to my blogroll!
Me too
Maybe I took up a summer job
. I dont want to be institutionalized then 
hahahaha! this is wat the pshycho of the 1st post was talking abt
this was HILARIOUS
I always wonder and wonder how these magazine women are pic perfect!
haha!
the gynecologist place wud be chasing u out every time they smell u around!
one more job added to their list!