So you are going to Europe
Published January 17th, 2008This is an old post I wrote when we were going to Europe several years ago. I have to recycle posts because I am busy the Hollywood writer’s strike is on.
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If you are a desi planning a trip to Europe, here is what you can expect:• Your wife will buy 4 tops, 3 pants and 2 pairs of shoes “for the trip,” even though she is only planning to pack 2 tops, 2 pants and 1 pair of shoes.• Some friends of yours will give you advice that will give Rick Steves’s “Europe Through Backdoor” a run for its money. The advice includes, “Pack a lot of murukulu or jantikalu so you can save some money on breakfast.”
• People will express their condolences because you won’t be eating rice for two or three weeks. They will question your patriotism for claiming you can survive happily on sandwiches and pasta for several weeks and provide unwanted counsel, “Pack a rice cooker, rice and some lentils so you can easily cook Indian food whenever you want.”
• Your wife will tell you, “Please please bring some nice clothes. Everybody in Europe dresses well and you will stick out in your shabby jeans.” Also, she will point out why none of the clothes you own fit the bill and take you to Macy’s and insist that you buy the pink shirt with yellow flowers.
• People who visited Europe before will question your intelligence because you are covering only 4 cities in 2 weeks instead of 15 cities across 6 countries.
• If you don’t have kids, all relatives will assume you will be planning kids soon after the trip and make their plans accordingly. Such as, your MIL saying, “I am visiting Turupathi right now, who knows I may have to be in the US in less than a year.”
• You will learn a few broken Spanish sentences and practice them on the office janitor.
• At least one of your desi friends will ask you how much the total trip will cost and roll their eyes. You can clearly see that they are thinking, “You idiots! You can buy a piece of land for that money in India!”
• You master the pronunciation of “Chamonix Mont Blanc” and demonstrate to a French friend. After half hour of demonstrating your pronunciation, you will end up writing it on the whiteboard for him to understand it.
38 Responses to “So you are going to Europe”
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Very accurate observations…
Surviving on Pasta, sandwich etc. People would rate you as a “americanized” desi…
I have seen that myself. Others are all pretty much true as well…
Very nice! My favourite one is: If you don’t have kids….
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Favoring pastas over rice? *clutches her heart and swaggers* Hehe, it sure was an amazing post, looking forward to many more!
P.S.-Pastas and sandwiches sure make my world go round.Rice don’t.
lol… i loved all of it.. esp packing the rice cooker… I get that advice when I go to UTAH forget Europe.. It also reminded me about my telephone conversation with my friend
Me: I am flying to India…
Her: Poor you, you have to eat the airplane food.. they dont even cook the spinach in the aloo palak..
Me: Oh I usually prefer the lacto veg meal to indian veg meal
Her: Really, but they will give you pasta
Me: Yeah so?
I also loved the “If you don’t have kids…” lol!!
cracks me up each time I read it! very well compiled….
lol! phunny phunny post! but pink shirt with yellow flowers??? NO WAY!
What, you did not pack MTR puliyogere mix and Priya avakai pickle?
Do you also get a bright green tie to go with it?
You get pink shirts with yellow flowers in Macy’s ? Lead me to it, I am buying one too, for hubby
he he he! me never been to europe and not going in a hurry after this one!!
What! You did not book a tour through RAJ or something like that? You *gasp* actually survived without being in a herd of fellow Indians and not eating rice!
Swooon!
The best one I got was when going to Rome, avoid the museums - they have nude statues of men. Uncultured the Romans were it seems
Really funny! Yet to dig through your archives.
***take you to Macy’s and insist that you buy the pink shirt with yellow flowers.***
Seriously? it happened?? hehheheh. Have to meet ur wife.
Also u sound just like the husband.
Hey..Nice writing. What did u do finally? Brought a piece of land or went for the tour with rice cooker:)
As a European, I’m almost offended. I mean, we do have Chinese people in Europe, therefor we have rice!
Hahaha…As a matter of fact I am planning a Europe trip in March but as I am single, people ’s expectations are a bit different! But yeah covering “15 cities across 6 countries” doesn’t change.
Gosh. Europe trip. In flowered shirt. This I must see to believe. I thought the flowered shirts were reserved for beach resorts. The un-tony variety. The tony sort reserved for white linen ‘resort wear’. Enjoy yourself. And be back with fun posts.
LoL.
:)
Hey Happy newy year to ya man!
he he….true true!
The closest I have come to similar stuff is getting similar advice while I was moving to the US!
and relatives who came to the airport got a kg each of all masalas!!!
You idiot! you should have should have bought a piece of land in India for that money those years ago!
I am sure even you agree with your desi friend now!
Lol!
Loved the ‘If you don’t have kids…’ part.
‘Your wife will buy 4 tops, 3 pants…’. [wink wink] I bet you haven’t seen another ploy yet. She will also end up buying around the same number of clothes and all in Europe, just because she hasn’t brought along enough to last her throughout the trip. Sound familiar? Ask my hubby.
Great tactic, na?
this was so like a husband talking….
and very funny…
hahah!
smiling!!!
And damn…just when I was thinking of doing a trip to italy…and yes Italy only..for 2 weeks!!!
Mad eh?
:–) Nobody asked us to take the ricecooker with us ;–)
Good one.
exactly! i agree with u. The moment u make a trip to some european country, indians think u awould want to be an anglo desi…They would question u on yr ethnicity and patriotism… Why aren t u going back to yr homeland, blah blah….? and what has european food got to do with indian culture? i mean eating pasta doesn t makes one an Italian rite? In fact i am rewarding my taste buds with tasty cuisines.
classic!
Funny post………..
LOL!!!…loved the bits about yr wifey shopping and the baby bit
Have a fun trip in Europe!!!
Very Funny. I have not been to Europe yet, but know what to expect. LOL
Where was I?!!!
I am late here.. and it is obviously obvious that you have been busy!
OK this was a hilarious post!!
One of my colleagues when he went to US, packed a whole bag just with Rice and masalas and all those stuff.. ;D
Err..but… “Yeh Dil maange more”!!
Don’t tell us again that “I am busy” kind of replies
looking forward to more fun posts..
Has the MIl taken the trip to Tirupathi???
Yes so spanish is it? Next time what language?? Really love the humour here…
Did you buy the pink shirt with flowes on it????
you’ve been tagged. check it out here - guruprasad.blogspot.com
ok, so now you definitely are “the indian”
. can i expect to see more refurbished posts too, or have they been censured (and censored)? 
buddy, looking at the number of comments you get nowadays, i feel privileged and proud that i was one of the few who used to read you (ok, comment - maybe there were a bunch of lurkers) in those days of yore (aka before paris)!
-s.b.
p.s.: feel free to snip any portion of this comment.
You are funny as ever. Keep it up!
lol to the writer’s strike comment - this is a timely recylce - I AM planning on going to Europe this year.
I complete agree with your ” People who visited Europe before will question your intelligence because you are covering only 4 cities in 2 weeks instead of 15 cities across 6 countries.”
That is amazing plainspeak
So to speak..
what is a murukulu or jantikalu ???i didnt get it~~~
HI.
Iam bangladeshi.i want to europe country.how….
possible.yes or no
kabir..
I love the flowered shirt , whats wrong with it….
and you forgot ‘you have become so fair ya, what cream did you use .. anyway pollution here will bring you back your original color !!! DUH !!’
Hey you missed out on the advice to pack a fur-lined jacket since it will be really freezing in the Alps!
Good one again…