Best publicity in life is free

A couple of weeks ago, a then friend of mine asked me how he can promote his blog. I gave him some ideas. For the benefit of humanity, I am sharing the tips here.

Here are Twisted DNA’s top 10 inexpensive ways to promote your blog.

10

Write the blog URL on your back and streak across any big game

9
Change work email signature to your Blog URL. Remember that everybody is allowed one accidental email to “Company All”.

8
Prepare posters of your blog URL. Roam around in the mall and find people in wheel chairs. Quietly stick the posters to the back of the wheel chairs. People in the wheel chairs are quite nice and won’t say a word as long as they don’t know you stuck those posters. Free advertisement all day.

7
Go to the airport passenger service and report that your kid is missing. Insist that your kid’s name is your blog URL. For the next few hours, passengers at the airport will hear, “twisted-dna.com, please come to passenger service.”

6
Sign up for story reading for kids at your local library. Remember, it’s OK to insert product placements into the story you are reading. For example, “Seven dwarfs came home after a hard day’s labor and logged on to Twisted-dna.com while Snowhite cooked the dinner.”

5
Cut outlines of your blog URL in aluminum wrap. Go to the beach on a warm day. Carefully drop the the outlines on oblivious sunbathers’ backs (or on their faces if they are sound asleep). They will advertise your blog for free until their tan wears off.

4
Find a celebrity lookalike, make a fake celebrity sex tape and distribute it. In the sex tape, wisely weave your URL into the dialog. For example: “Oh God. Yes. Yes. Last time I had so much pleasure was when I was reading twisted-dna.com. Don’t stop now.”

3
Camp out at an obstetrics ward. Talk to women going into labor rooms and tell them that the new Lamaze technique is to shout out your URL when they are having contractions. For the next few hours they will promote your blog at the top of their lungs.

labor2.jpg

2
Follow fire engines. If there is a fire, hang banners of your site near the fires. News crews will take care of the rest.

burning_problem.jpg

1
Print tons of copies of your blog. Go to all public restrooms in your area and leave copies in the restroom stalls. People using them have NOTHING else to do and will read your blog. Be prepared to accept some criticism, expressed in innovative ways.

stall1.jpg

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44 Responses to “Best publicity in life is free”  

  1. 1 Maverick

    I like the sex videotape idea.How abt hiring Paris Hilton? oops u said inexpensive right?!

  2. 2 pelf

    I love tips #9 and #6!!

    And for tip #6, your kids will tell their school/kindergarten friends that “Seven dwarfs came home after a hard day’s labor and logged on to Twisted-dna.com while Snowhite cooked the dinner.”

    FREE publicity as well :)

  3. 3 rads

    :-)

    Mrs. Twisted didn’t agree to it, so you’re pushing your luck with the rest of us eh? :P

  4. 4 NK

    Ha ha!!! Those are some really desparate measures :) Here’s one of my own: Leaving comments on popular blogs, and asking them to visit, say, for example, http://nkzblog.blogspot.com/

  5. 5 Asha

    LOL! Great ideas! I like the woman in labor!!;D

  6. 6 SK

    Too much! :–))
    I have actually seen people have their blog URL in their signature. :–)

  7. 7 anishadutt

    ROFL!!!!!!!!!

  8. 8 Parul

    LOL…people even put their blog URL in place of their MSN, Yahoo nicknames!

  9. 9 Rajeev

    lol! Hilarious!
    I loved the cinderella tip!hehe!
    nice blog!

    peace & love
    Jeevy

  10. 10 BPSK

    I like idea #10, except my blog name is a bit long, so it would have to be a big stadium. ;-)

    And I have also seen putting their blog URL in their email sig.

    Btw, OK asked me on my blog today if I was you, so that brought me here. Maybe that’s a 11th technique. ;-)

    BPSK

  11. 11 Pallavi

    i like the “company all” emailing by mistake..i think best is to go on many many random blogs and leave more random senseless comments..:P…

  12. 12 Zhu

    I like the missing kid promotion. However, one should stop before an Ambert Alert. Your blog URL on CNN would be great ad… yet getting arrested would be…
    More ads. Yeah, that’s right.

  13. 13 Mala

    You’re not a bad graphic designer yourself ;)
    Good one!

  14. 14 Sudipta Chatterjee

    Oh, how about ransom notes from a person who claims to write on www.twisted-dna.com ?? Wait, I got one!! :D

  15. 15 starry nights

    Love all your tips twisted DNA.how are you doing.

  16. 16 La Vida Loca

    heh!! :D

  17. 17 Twisted DNA

    Maverick:
    Not Paris Hilton… people are bored seeing her naked. If we have a video of her fully clothed, then it might be interestig :)

    pelf:

    kids will tell their school/kindergarten friends that
    Yes, that’s the crux of this Viral marketing scheme ;)

    rads:
    Mrs. Twisted didn’t agree to it, so you’re pushing your luck with the rest of us eh?
    She believes that a good blog doesn’t need promotion (oh that naiivite!). I told her promoting the blog is much easier than writing a good one :)

    NK:

    LOL, good one. Only one problem though… you need to do it on popularblogs :)

    Asha:
    I like the woman in labor!
    Me too. No, no, you dirty minds. I like the joke I made about them. Geez.

    SK:
    I have actually seen people have their blog URL in their signature.
    Really? At work? That would be so awkward! Tell me the truth, is that you? :P

    anishadutt:
    Glad you liked it :)

  18. 18 Twisted DNA

    Parul:

    people even put their blog URL in place of their MSN, Yahoo nicknames
    LOL. Never saw it… I should start doing it :D

    Rajeev:
    I loved the cinderella tip!hehe!
    You are mixing fairy tales :P Glad you liked it though :)

    BPSK:
    my blog name is a bit long
    You just need to get a bunch of your buddies to do it too. Come to think of it, it could be a nice show :)

    OK asked me on my blog today if I was you
    Why would he insult you like that!?

    Pallavi:
    go on many many random blogs and leave more random senseless comments.
    You are giving away my trade secrets :P

    Zhu:
    yet getting arrested would be…More ads. Yeah, that’s right.
    Yeah! No such thing as bad press, remember? :D

    Mala:
    You’re not a bad graphic designer yourself ;)
    Haha. I swear, I drew them with my own hands… I didn’t steal them from my 2.5 year old toddler :P

    Sudipta Chatterjee:
    Oh, how about ransom notes from a person who claims to write on www.twisted-dna.com
    Haha. That’s a good one! You know, it might even get into papers!

    Wait, I got one!!
    OK, pay up then :P

    starry nights:
    Glad to see you back :) I am doing OK. Hope you are dong well too.

  19. 19 Twisted DNA

    La Vida Loca:
    :)

  20. 20 Rohini

    Or make your kid walking around wearing this

  21. 21 OrangeJammies

    Oh here’s another one: refuse to give friends any updates about your life and insist on parroting: “go read my blog” in a polly-wants-a-cracker voice.

  22. 22 shub

    hahahaha! “Last time I had so much pleasure was when I was reading twisted-dna.com. Don’t stop now.” takes the cake, the icing and everything else!

  23. 23 ~nm

    Haha! Such a good compilations! Left me laughing out all throughout!

  24. 24 Melody

    Maybe your funniest post yet!!! “Take a break from burning problems” ?!!! Your mind is seriously twisted, twisted!

  25. 25 Alan

    #11 - Get a link to your blog URL on a really cool site like “Twisted DNA”.

  26. 26 si

    the obvious question (at least to me): you started out with “A couple of weeks ago, a then friend of mine…” “a *then* friend??” what happened? did he follow your advice and regret it? :)

    great post!

  27. 27 Preethi

    Hilarious!! I loved the “Take a break from your burning problems” haha!!

  28. 28 Esha

    depend on y to come up with MS like tips - hajaar in no. and not one works . Now i know where u work ;-)

  29. 29 whatsinaname

    and how much do you charge for marketing others urls? :P

    You do a good job, me thinks! How many of these have you tried? :D

  30. 30 ekta

    hahah!
    I never realised publicising the blog could be such an innovative and creative thing!!
    Now am gonna use ALL your tips..seriously..ALL of them…:-))

  31. 31 Karen

    Well, if a career as a software engineer doesn’t work out for you…. you can always start your own advertising company. This was way too good and hilarious… I loved the fire-fighting scene.

  32. 32 vEENS

    #9 is the easiest of them all :D
    though #1 is HILARIOUS..

    Totalement superbe!!!

  33. 33 Twilight Fairy

    I only leave my (new) blog URL in twisted dna’s comment section and make use of all his publicity :P :)

  34. 34 La Vida Loca

    write another post soon

  35. 35 Vishnupriya

    lol!hilarious. .
    I once gave a supposedly perfect offer!
    Tax Free star gazing to those who read my blog!!yet No one read it!By the way do you want to star gaze for free?Or are u one of those who do not pay your taxes for star gazing?(kinda sore on the amount i am taxed)

  36. 36 Lushgreenapple

    I think the toilet paper roll is very practical. You can print the blog in the toilet paper and distribute it free so that people who can’t afford the “extra-soft” ones will buy them and read them. They reading the morning paper always helps constipation. There will come a time when the same will be said about blogs. I guess this will give a whole new meaning to the word “blog roll”…hee hee

  37. 37 Mohit

    A tip from me :-
    Start taking foreign laguage courses and replace common words with your url :) For instance, your students can go around greeting others with your url.

  38. 38 GS

    Wonderful..
    i like #1 - toilet papers are the best way to publicize..haha

  39. 39 Raysofsun

    Hahah one more strategy is to put the link on any social networking website:P
    Darn, all those hits to your blog would increase in fraction of minutes:P

  40. 40 King Vishy

    Find it strange that no one has referred to the “tanning” idea. IMO that was the best of all :) The “victims” can do absolutely nothing to remove it!

    And Lushgreenapple.. Blogroll??? LOL :D

  41. 41 Suki

    LMAO! Awesomely innovative! Okay, I’m HOOKED to your blog already :D

    My slightly subtle(r) strategy consists of visiting blogs, leaving a few comments, and seizing the first opportunity to link to one of my own posts.

  42. 42 american express atm

    Hello! Could you help me with advice? There is nobody else to ask. I have never had a credit card before but now I am eager to apply for a credit card online. How to make the right choice and know for sure that the credit card suits me? And do you know anything about

    Excellent Credit Card

  43. 43 rambhai

    haha ~~~this post goes all above the rest~~~~esp the pregnant woman part~~~haha~~~you must also give tips for other technical stuff like SEO AND MAKIN MONEY VIA BLOGS that would be fun to see

  1. 1 How to promote your blog | DesiPundit


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