It takes three to tango
Published August 13th, 2007Chandni wrote a piece on men and their limbs adorning unexpected shoulders. That reminded me of something that happened when I was in college.
It was a hot summer afternoon. I was doing justice to the good money my parents paid to send me to college by contemplating on my education and college. I was sitting in a movie theatre on a school day along with a friend, but I honestly thought about my education for a whole of 15 seconds.
There was nobody in our near vicinity except for this couple who were sitting right in front of us. If one inspects them closely, which we meticulously did immediately upon arrival, one would notice that the lady looked to be in her 30s and the guy was young, probably less than 20. Let’s call him kid.
About 20 minutes into the movie, we noticed some uncomfortable shuffling in front of us. The kid carefully moved his arm and surreptitiously placed it behind the woman, on the top of the seat, without actually touching her.
My friend and I theorized that the kid was unsure of how the woman was feeling towards him. Was it a casual movie with a neighbor’s kid or was she open for a little fun in the dark? Only time will tell.
It was obvious that the kid felt the hand would be more comfortable around her shoulders and inched it towards her a couple of times but he kept screwing up his courage. It was getting more interesting than the movie so we were paying close attention.
After a couple of minutes, the kid gathered enough nerve to tentatively let his fingers touch her shoulders. She jumped 4 feet in her seat, turned 180 degrees and looked directly in our direction. What did she find? She found two young guys starting at her and drooling abundantly. She concluded based on circumstantial evidence that we had administered that little touch. She gave us a glare enough to melt us in our seats. Fortunately, before she could explore more physically damaging options, the kid gestured to her that it was his hand that trespassed. She gave him a long stare and went back to watching the movie.
All three of us were completely confused (the kid and we two friends). What did she mean by the stare? Did she want the guy to touch or not? By that time, the kid completely lost his nerve. He kept the hand behind her on the seat but he was making no effort to touch her again.
My friend and I concluded that the best move for him would be to touch her again. There was no point in dragging it on. If she was OK with his touch, good for both of them! If she was not, then it’s good too; the kid can move on to the next neighbor. The status quo was not good. Something had to happen.
Something did happen. After 15 minutes, the woman turned to the kid, gave him her patented glare and stormed out of the theatre followed by the completely confused kid. My friend and I bolted out of the theatre in a different direction as soon as they left.
To make sense of this fall out, you have to know what happened just before she walked out. My altruistic friend, wishing to put and end to the kid’s misery, executed a coup de grâce. He gave a quick poke on the woman’s shoulder to set things in motion. If you are wondering why we disappeared from the scene, just imagine what would’ve happened if the woman and kid compared notes and came back for us! I am glad that my hands and legs are still intact.
Update: I might have given the impression that I condone my friend’s behavior towards a woman. I do not. I did not. He got hell from me for this.
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Too much
You broke the poor kid’s heart!
omg! you naughty devils…but i think it was a nobel gesture in disguise for the kid..:)..
Hehe.. Now that was brilliant! Poor confused kid ends up scarred for life! We approve.
Of course, this reminds me of the time we went to watch movies with my younger neice and ended up watching the rather amorous groping by a couple seated in front. My neice who was all of 3 yrs old then told the ‘uncle’ that her mom and dad do this when she is not in the room. Of course, I am not sure who was more embrassed my sis in law or the couple
Sexual harassment… Sexual harassment… Sexual harassment… Sexual harassment…
:-)…
Terrible terrible…but one can ask what the lady was doing in a movie theatre with a neighbouring kid if she wasnt open to a bit of nooky????
oh ho….we must get in to psyche of the lady to find out what she wanted…such questions beg to be answered for the sake of future neighbourhood boys and the moves they plan!
wat eet ees this uncouth behaviour?
As punishment you have been tagged.
http://bengloorgirlindenver.blogspot.com/2007/08/one-survives-another-monday.html
This was not my idea. I picked names out of a hat. Alright i lied. Everyone else seemed way too boring. DO NOT tell on me.
Was it a casual movie with a neighbor’s kid or was she open for a little fun in the dark? Only time will tell
Nail biting suspense indeed!
That was hilarious….
Your altruistic friend… indeed…
such noble gestures….such kind folks….
pity u guys didnt go beyond ‘poke in the shoulders’ - the reaction to that - wud be fun
I am confused! Did she or did she not come to the movie with him? Why did she mind when he flirted with her? Why did she stormed out? Why the hell did your friend poke her? Phew!!! ;D
Oh God, too much I say! :–))
hahaha…funny one….
Wow! Thats every guy’s dream come true, eitherway. Making out with the next door aunty or see a guy make out with his next door aunty;).
Just kidding. Anyway your post reminded me of a story. I am blogging about that:D.
Funny, how think the line between fun and sexual harassment is! Feel kinda bad for that ‘kid’ — at least he could’ve showed off his macho devilry by squaring up your friend.
:) Just be careful. Aforementioned girl could turn out to be a younger sister of T Rajendar, the hair (not a spelling mistake) apparent to the Kollywood throne. If one watches his movies (and lives to tell the tale) one will realize that Mr TR has an unholy obsession with protecting “Thangacchis” (little sisters). In fact, it is fairly accurate to say that he considers the entire 20-30 year old girl population to be his “thangacchis”. He will not only do bad things to younger-sis-shoulder-pokers, worse, he might make a movie out of it.
Jusht a warning. oks?
Maybe Auntieji really saw him as a little kid.
I have my doubts, though. Adloscent boys- wicked wicked creatures:)
GG:
The kid found out much sooner than he would’ve. I was hoping the kid explained to her it was not him who touched her the second time.
You broke the poor kid’s heart!
While I don’t agree with his methods, I still believe my friend did the kid a favor
Pallavi:
I was the innocent one in the whole story.
you naughty devils…
Your use of plural is troublesome
Sakshi:
Poor confused kid ends up scarred for life! We approve.
Looking at the young age he was blooming, I am sure he would’ve gotten back on his feet and moved on to the next “auntie”
her mom and dad do this when she is not in the room.
Haha! Hilarious. These kids are dangerous!
Robin:
Lol. Well, SH is a strong word but I would agree that the behavior was inappropriate
Kiran Manral:
if she wasnt open to a bit of nooky????
I know at least one case like that. One of my friends back in school went to a movie with an auntie like that. Auntie came for his mom, mom was busy, so mom volunteered my friend. But in this case, I wouldn’t wrong the kid for trying
chandni:
future neighbourhood boys and the moves they plan
What future? It was a million dollar questions for times forgotten. We went through same questions. Our past generations did. Our future generations will do too. The fascination with aunties has been timeless
Pri:
I was the “couth” one there 
wat eet ees this uncouth behaviour?
uncouth indeed
As punishment you have been tagged.
) will be picked up
DO NOT tell on me.
Lol. Blackmail is always fun
rads:
Nail biting suspense indeed!
Well, not as suspenseful as your choice of dress for Aug 15
Aditi:
That was hilarious….
Yes, in retrospect it is. At that time I was scared like hell!
something to say:
I was told my friends did more than just a poke in other occasions. Fortunately I was a not witness to such actions!
pity u guys didnt go beyond ‘poke in the shoulders’ - the reaction to that - wud be fun
Lol. I think this poke devastated the kid’s life enough
Asha:
I am confused!
What we need to do is, we need to go to a movie and I need to poke you in your shoulder. Then it will all be clear
SK:
Oh God, too much I say!
Yep. My friend did go to unacceptable lengths. By contracts I am such a nice person
jattz:
hahaha…funny one….
I seriously doubt how funny it would have been if my friend was caught in the act
Ok:
In this specific case, she turned out to be a party-pooper 
eitherway
Haha. You nailed it. It doesn’t matter who makes out with her as long as there is a next-door-aunty in the scene
I am blogging about that
Just checked. Apparently your mood hasn’t swung that direction yet
Sudipta Chatterjee:
how think the line between fun and sexual harassment
Actually, for the victim it’s non-existent. It’s sad to think how the auntie must’ve felt when she thought the kid betrayed her trust.
at least he could’ve showed off his macho devilry by squaring up your friend.
Squaring up? With me standing next? A macho, muscular man of bulging biceps .. oh wait, you already saw me. Danm, can’t bluff
Krish Ashok:
ROFL!
and lives to tell the tale
worse, he might make a movie out of it.
Hilarious! Well said
dipali:
Maybe Auntieji really saw him as a little kid.
Yes, it would appear so. Otherwise she wouldn’t have taken offense to the poke, ostensibly by the kid
Adloscent boys- wicked wicked creatures:)
Ahem… I would presume no personal experience
lol….cant stop laughing….am sure this incident goes into your archives of craziness….
btw, what movie were you guys watchin? do you remember that?
LOL! You did a favor to both of them in making the future decision;-)
“Asha:
I am confused!
What we need to do is, we need to go to a movie and I need to poke you in your shoulder. Then it will all be clear”
LOL! You are somethning..
“It was getting more interesting than the movie so we were paying close attention.”
OK, so what was the film? (Sounds like one to avoid.)
LOL
are you sure it was your friend?
How come I think it must have been you, not your friend who poked…nice cover up!!
Ohh well, lession learnt for the kid I guess! Next time he’ll aim for a more cooperative aunts kid 
Wonderful !!!!
Remind me never to sit 2 rows in front of a bunch of altruistic guys
The molar extraction was good too .. i remember mentioning something to my friend before he went in for a minor operation … I always wondered why his mom glares at me from that day on ! Now , I know it
Lol Wicked wicked! Poor kid! He would never have been able to convince her that he was blameless in the second instance. Glad it was only a poke, can you imagine the poor kid’s plight if Auntie went and told Mommy? hahha
LOL Omg!
Keshi.
Ayyo ayyo. Very evil indeed. But the kid got himself an education. So thats a good thing no? Though it does make one wonder about the dynamics of preliminary amorous contact.
three to tango and to get yelled at as well! anyways some lessons learnt.
Umm.. ur friend was actually trying to help, wasn’t he ? Ok no, he was fast forwarding a suspsense thriller.
Hi,
Jumped here from Krishashok’s blog.
Happened to read this entry of yours and ended up reading all the articles since the day of commencement of this blog.
Had read good laugh at most of them.
Great work.
Voracious Blog Reader
so i was just the four of in the theatre! awsome foursome !! why on earth did u go to such a movie with a guy!
OMG ! unbelievable ! you guys really did that ??? But its a bit wierd why that aunty would go to the movie with that kid ?
Now which of these facts have u altered?
a.It was you who touched the lady
b.It was your friend who touched her not the kid
c.She did not stare –she gave a thunderous slap to you/kid/your friend (strike out whichever is not appilcable)
:-)
Amusing–and a story well told.
oh my god.. how did it take me so long to find this blog? absolutely hilarious. of course, you’ve just cost me my entire morning reading your archives.
I always knew u were a trouble maker.. but to this exent…. tsk tsk.
Tch, tch, men these days. Tch, tch, men those days. Tch, tch…MEN!!!!
This was hilarriousss! This was in the best Wodehousian tradition, and I whole-heartedly approve!
:-)
Hi. Thanks to Krish Ashok, I came in here.
You naughty guys. I think that lady should have not reacted the wy she did, maybe it was just their first date and it was a no touch policy.
ROTFL–Trust me, when I got back on blogsphere this was exactly what I missed:-)
I could literally visualize the ongoings in the darkness of the night..great narration:)
“There was no point in dragging it on. If she was OK with his touch, good for both of them! If she was not, then it’s good too; the kid can move on to the next neighbor.”
Completely true!!
Lol @ the post, it’s nice reminiscing, isn’t it?
LoL sorry can’t think of anything else to say.
Good that ur frnd did it finally, was tough to tolerate the suspense
probably the guys sitting next/behind u watched three movies simultaneously in the same theatre 
Ujwal:
The movie was called “yes, nEnaMTE nEnu”. Superstar Krishna. Horrible horrible movie or an unintentional comedy 
btw, what movie were you guys watchin? do you remember that?
Alright. I will say it but I will deny it if you ever ask me again
mommyof2:
You did a favor to both of them in making the future decision
Lol. I don’t feel for the kid. He will find some other aunty. I feel for the aunty. She was probably tormented!
LOL! You are somethning..
Haha. I know Asha won’t mind a bit of poking (fun) at her
Alan:
OK, so what was the film? (Sounds like one to avoid.)
It was a Telugu movie and avoidable. But you avoid all Telugu movies anyway.. so no danger of you ever seeing it
whatsinaname:
are you sure it was your friend?
Lol. I am positive. You see, I am not a “poker”. I am more of a squeezer
Prasanna:
How come I think it must have been you, not your friend who poked…
Man, I earned kind of a reputation, didn’t I!
next time he’ll aim for a more cooperative aunt
Or realized that movies is not the place to find out if the aunt is cooperative or not
Deepa:
Remind me never to sit 2 rows in front of a bunch of altruistic guys
LOL! You can make the “guys” in general
i remember mentioning something to my friend before he went in for a minor operation
haha.. adding a bit of fantasy to what you mentioned would’ve made a nice conversation piece under sedation
just like that:
can you imagine the poor kid’s plight if Auntie went and told Mommy?
I can imagine. But what I learned out of experience is that, these kinds of things, women never ever discuss with moms or even their husbands. Even though, I make light of this subject, but it is sad that in India, even if some moron does something to a woman, it is considered the woman’s fault! I may have taken advantage of that fact when I was young. I am embarrassed to admit it now.
Keshi:
I will catch up with you some time.
LOL Omg!
Kesh… we are falling out of touch
Sidin:
Which educational institute can provide such valuable lessons!
Very evil indeed. But the kid got himself an education
Thank you for seeing it from our point of view
Though it does make one wonder about the dynamics of preliminary amorous contact.
I never thought there is “preliminary” for guys’ amorous contact
mouna:
three to tango and to get yelled at as well!
Well fortunately we didn’t get caught. If we did, I don’t think anybody would’ve been satisfied with just yelling at us
How do we know:
he was fast forwarding a suspsense thriller.
Fast-forwarding is OK with me. But fast-forwarding never had the potential to get beat up to pulp!
Voracious Blog Reader:
ended up reading all the articles since the day of commencement
And you are still sane?
Had read good laugh at most of them. Great work.
Always a pleasure to hear that!
mahathma:
why on earth did u go to such a movie with a guy!
Because there was no neighboring auntie willing to go to the movies with me
nz:
(No, I was never that younger guy)
But its a bit wierd why that aunty would go to the movie with that kid
I know aunties who went to movies with younger guys, with good intentions or otherwise
PS:
Now which of these facts have u altered?
LOL. There are only a couple of facts I altered.
1. We were hoping the auntie would acquiesce so we could enjoy a better show
2. I really thought she was going to slap up so I was ready to duck
Amusing–and a story well told.
Thanks
eM:
Thanks for reading!
of course, you’ve just cost me my entire morning reading your archives
Reading just cost you the morning… but the scars will last a life time
Nidhee:
I always knew u were a trouble maker
Me!! I am the innocentest kind! It’s the company I hang out with that gives me the bad name (that’s what I told my parents and I am sticking with that story)
IdeaSmith:
Tch, tch, men these days. Tch, tch, men those days. Tch, tch…MEN!!!!
ROFL! You nailed it sistah!
Rambodoc:
This was in the best Wodehousian tradition
Ohmigod! You said Wodehouse! How can I ever thank you!
starry nights:
maybe it was just their first date and it was a no touch policy
I would hardly call it a date. I would completely agree with the no touch policy
Raysofsun:
great narration
Thanks for noticing
Melody:
it’s nice reminiscing, isn’t it?
Nice for me. Nicer because most people found it fun too
mosilager:
LoL sorry can’t think of anything else to say.
Neat. I left you speechless!
pr:Dtam…:
probably the guys sitting next/behind u watched three movies simultaneously in the same theatre
ROFL! Ya I need to search the blogosphere for the post about two stupid guys harassing a woman in a movie theater