Rants sans Wisdom
Published August 2nd, 2007God created man. Then he created teeth. Then he created dentists and told them, “Go and wreck havoc on Earth. Create imaginary gum deceases. Endorse tar-tasting toothpastes.” Dentists were happy for some time. Then they all went back to God and said, “Dude we can’t seem to find enough problems. Help us out.” God created Wisdom teeth.
The dentist began talking even before he saw my x-ray.
Dentist: Your third molar is impacted. We need to extract it.
For a moment I thought I accidentally walked into a car body shop.
Me: What?
Dentist: We need to remove your wisdom teeth
Me: Why?
Dentist: I need to go on a cruise
Me: Huh?
Dentist: I mean, *medical mumbo-jumbo* ultimately your wisdom tooth is doing obscene things to the next tooth.
Me: But I don’t feel any pain or anything
Dentist: That’s why we need to remove it immediately (Otherwise it may never cause a problem)
Me: Fine
For the surgery I had to pick a form of anesthetic. Local, Local + mild sedation or Local + general anesthetic. I chose the second option and marked it on a paper.
On the day of the extraction, this Chinese doctor walks in. We both were apparently speaking English but either can’t understand what other is trying to say. It took me five minutes to explain to her what my height and weight are with her asking me “Pardon me, can you repeat that” after every word I said.
Finally, having filled out the paper work she stuck the IV in my arm and started the drip.
She: So you chose general anesthesia, right?
I panicked.
Me: No, no! I chose the second option. Mild sedative?
She: Pardon me, can you repeat that?
Me: I said…
I was knocked out cold.
I woke up after who knows how long, two teeth lighter. I woke up briefly to confirm the person picking me up was my wife and then I don’t remember anything. My wife informed me later that I volunteered some juicy information in my stupor. I don’t know what I said, but all I know is I am not going to win another argument in next 15 years.
So here I am. Sitting with half my face swollen like a football. My friend calls me asks me why I didn’t get rid of the other two wisdom teeth at the same time. I don’t know. My doctor didn’t tell me to. May be the doctor is using my mouth like a little savings account. Those two will come in handy when he needs the next cruise.
61 Responses to “Rants sans Wisdom”
- 1 Pingback on Aug 2nd, 2007 at 1:30 pm
- 2 Trackback on May 15th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Leave a Reply
Search
Passing Thoughts
[+] Two girls scouts are protesting girl scout cookies because they say they are endangering some species. If you looked at the nutrition information of the cookies they sell, you would agree that one of the endangered species is mankind. [0 comments]
[+] According to this news item the definition of rape has been widened. If a woman refuses sex in the middle of the act, the rest of the act is considered rape. I guess she can re-accept sex making it consensual again. Don’t be surprised if you see criminal cases with the following description: “She went to his place at 8:00PM. They had coffee. They had sex from 8:30PM to 8:54PM. He raped her from 8:55PM to 9:01PM. Then she reluctantly agreed to sex. So, technically, he partially raped her from 9:02PM to 9:15PM. They both had dinner. Later they had sex after he briefly raped her.” [3 comments]
[+] Pentagon admitted that they accidentally shipped missile parts to Taiwan. Be assured that US is not in the business of selling arms. It might so happen that Taiwan may accidentally ship some money to US in the future. Who knows what accidents happen. [1 comment]
[+] Sarah Jessica Parker is whining that she won the “Unsexiest Woman Alive” award from Maxim readers. If you ask me, she should be quite glad that she didn’t win the “Unsexiest Horse” award. [2 comments]
[+] A new-born rhinoceros in Kenya has been named “Kofi Annan” after the former UN Secretary General. Mr. Annan has been making phone calls since morning to figure out if that is meant as an honor or insult. [5 comments]
Favorites
Latest
- Endangered Species
- Partial rape
- A cheesy moment
- Business of accidents
- Unsexiest woman is a compliment
- Propriety starts with P
- A Dubious Honor
- Dear Bolly
- So you are going to Europe
- Oops, my sister did it
- Story of three teens
- Showering babies
- Pregnant Pondering
- Best publicity in life is free
- They are black they are holes
Copyright
©twisted-dna.com 2006-2008. All rights reserved. This website and its contents are copyright of twisted-dna.com
Any redistribution or reproduction of part or all of the contents in any form is prohibited without express permission of the author.
You are still making wise cracks. So guess alls well.
ouch…my sympathies.. I have been told that sooner or later i am going to have to have my wisdom teeth taken out. For now i am enduring as long as i can with as little pain as i can..
You can delete this comment if you think I am the PC police but chink has a racist connotation these days.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chink
Another winner that had me laughing over here. The savings account theory had me rolling.
lol Funny!!!…I feel the pain. I hate metal objects touching my teeth or any part of my mouth. I would go for a complete anesthetic. I don’t want to feel anything.
The other 2 teeth will come handy when he wants to send his child off to college… or when his wife leaves him - and he needs to pay child support….
but ouchie…wisdom tooth troubles are bad…. and most dentists will ask you have them removed…wonder why we have them then…
Shreemoyee:
You are still making wise cracks
My wails of pain sound like wisecracks to you!
Aditi:
sooner or later i am going to have to have my wisdom teeth taken out.
Yep, as soon as your dentist needs some cash
GG:
You can delete this comment if you think
Ah, you have to do much better than this to get your comment deleted GG
But I agree. There is no need to be offensive to the entire race when I just didn’t like a person of that race. Changed the language. Thanks for pointing out.
Gnightgirl:
Thanks Lori!
Hey! Celebrities are visiting my blog
Ravi:
I would go for a complete anesthetic.
You will. As you saw in my case, it doesn’t matter what you choose
something to say:
The other 2 teeth will come handy when he wants to send his child off to college…
I hope he is not counting too much on my wisdom teeth! Sending kids to school is expensive business. I am sure the doc has another savings account in somebody elses mouth in terms of some rotting teeth
…wonder why we have them then…
If I am forced to be serious for a second, I would say evolution is not perfect. Human body has several imperfectly evolved parts, wisom teeth are one of those. I hope the “Intelligent Design” folks can explain that
Hi Twisted,
This one reallly cracked me up. :–)) Too good.
Btw, why did you go to the dentist, when you werent in pain in the first place? :–)
Oh, the meaning of the title just sunk in. Too good. :–D
You should just get it done in India, cheaper, easier and they don’t knock you out! Oh yeah and even though your face will swell there’s not pain.
(from pulling out 1 wisdom tooth).
As you can tell i’ve got loads of experience
oh lol ouch lol empathies lol.:-)
My wisdom is still intact, husband’s was been extracted 6 months back by a wise guy who calls himself a dentist. So am very familiar with the half swollen football.
You should count yourself lucky you went in for GA. Hubs was advised that local would be fine, and he’s not stopped cursing the doc till date. I believe it IS painful (understatement), hope the pain and swelling subsides soon and you get back to your wise cracks, even sans the wisdom.
LOl Lol ROFL at you being knocked out by the Chinese doc. Hilarious!
Insightful article! There ws times, where I thought my wisdom teeth needs some things to be done, but till now, all is well!
My daughter was advised to get all 4 wisdom teeth out at 15 and I still have them!! What’s wrong with this picture? I think these dentists expect us to be perfect in every way!! It’s silly.
Loved reading that,hope you are better now!:))
Hope the football’s the size of ping-pong now.
Lord! I suffered thru two wisdom teeth sprouting - now that the pain is gone … wonder if I’ve to go thru what ya did?
:(
BTW TD, don’t have any url - could mail/chat sometime - muse_74@yahoo.com
SK:
Btw, why did you go to the dentist, when you werent in pain in the first place?
One of the conspiracies of dentists is that they convince you that you need to see them every 6 months just for general checkups!
Agony Aunt:
The less we talk about it the better. Fortunately, if you have insurance dental care is not that expensive in the US. It is just that I can never be convinced that the procedure they are recommending is truly necessary!
You should just get it done in India,
Oh.. I got some work done in India and it was not a pleasant experience
from pulling out 1 wisdom tooth
one tooth? I thought they always do it in pairs! Or so they convinced me
just like that:
a wise guy who calls himself a dentist
LOL. Ya we have trust and hope that he really is
You should count yourself lucky you went in for GA.
Ya, I think it was a good thing… I didn’t have to bear witness to whatever they were doing
Ashwin:
all is well!
Let’s hope they remain that way. Oh, wait. It doesn’t matter. If the dentist didn’t like them, whatever the reason is, they are coming off
Asha:
My daughter was advised to get all 4 wisdom teeth out at 15
I heard that is a better thing to do because they don’t form roots yet
I think these dentists expect us to be perfect in every way!!
Ya, how are they going to be make money unless we are insecure about our teeth
hope you are better now!:))
Feeling much better, although a plateful of Goolgula might help a lot if there is someone to send me some
rads:
Hope the football’s the size of ping-pong now.
And do injustice to softball?
Khayaal:
I keep asking because it’s the easiest way to know about a person. I will try to get hold of you on chat.
I suffered thru two wisdom teeth sprouting
From what I understand sprouting itself is not a problem but “how” they sprout is the problem. I hope your wisdom teeth are not bullying the other teeth
BTW TD, don’t have any url
OK
LOL!! I hate bleddy dentists… but you made your visit sound soo funny!!
I am still laughing. I got mine removed some time back and thank your stars you did not get any sutures… i got 8 of them and that too one extraction.
Now answer teh following questions
1. what juicy details did u leak out?
2. What were you doing to that poor doctor that she had to stick the IV up your arm??:P.
I got mine removed too. Had to, acc. to the dentist. Supposed to be a general anesthetic, but I was awake and numb all the time, and groggy. I guess we got switched. Well, at least the surgeon was handsome.
BTW, I am sure wife’s lying. No juicy tidbits can come out of a wisdom-teeth-pulled-soccer-ball-sized-swollen-mouth.
hey I couldnt comment yest, the whole comment feature was gone. but I can, now!
you are right on the mark - you prbbly paid for his summer home mortgage as well. a relative who goes to dental school says the more things they can find ‘wrong’ with their patients, the more they get paid. even when they are in school. the “extraction” course, it seems, equips them with money making skills.
You said it in good humor..soo I’ll not say anything
little wonder though.. everybody hates a dental visit
Oh I found a very clever way of getting my wisdom teeth pulled without having to pay — guess what? Research studies!
But all the best for now — mashed potatoes and PBJs zindabaad!
Good one. I do not understand the need for these dentists to pull out teeths. One dentist told me that my one tooth is spoiling the growth of another and that it needs to be pulled out. I never went back to him and my teeth have not given me any trouble. Heck, I should have chosen to be a dentist! Nobody told me about this profession’s benefits when I was young:-(
thnk god, i’ve never been to a dentist. n i hope i never will. damn i dont want wisdom at all, of any kind
Dentist visits suck but they always make great blogs. Nice post
Lovely writing…Wisdom tooth really sometimes does take away our wisdom, especially on those painful moments, when the whole world seems a headache in-front of us.
Perspective Inc :
but you made your visit sound soo funny!!
Well, I had to. Muttering obscenities on the blog is not a nice thing
Nidhee:
thank your stars you did not get any sutures…
I may have. I don’t know. I can’t feel anything in that part of the mouth
i got 8 of them and that too one extraction.
What! 8!? I can’t even imagine how you survived the next few days. I hope you got the bulk discount
1. what juicy details did u leak out?
LOL. I want to know it myself!
2. What were you doing to that poor doctor that she had to stick the IV up your arm??
Haha. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even ask her what she was doing. I was afraid, if I said anything she would directly go for my carotid instead of arm!
munimma:
Had to, acc. to the dentist
LOL, ya. They always make us believe that!
Well, at least the surgeon was handsome.
After a good dose of anesthesia, I understand most people look good
No juicy tidbits can come out of a wisdom-teeth-pulled-soccer-ball-sized-swollen-mouth.
Thank you for the kind words
Kodi’s Mom:
hey I couldnt comment yest
You and your IE!! :O There was a brief period when the site was only working with real browsers. Had to fix it for IE
you prbbly paid for his summer home mortgage as well
Ya, the fee was exorbitant. So glad to have a good insurance
We need to coax your relative to gives us more inside info
La Vida Loca:
I was waiting to see what you would say. You are not as bad as I imagined 
You said it in good humor..soo I’ll not say anything
I had you in mind when I posted
Sudipta Chatterjee:
Frapiccinos, Hot Breads cakes and Cold Stone icecreams are all the new procreation now 
Research studies!
Oh, I thought flirting with a boxers wife
mashed potatoes and PBJs zindabaad!
Ah, you are old fashioned
Lavss:
I do not understand the need for these dentists to pull out teeth
What’s not to understand. They need money and you have teeth
my teeth have not given me any trouble.
Really? I wonder how the doc would explain that!
Maverick:
damn i dont want wisdom at all, of any kind
Lol. True. Wisdom, of any kind, causes pain
Crystal Blur:
Dentist visits suck
Yep, they do suck money out of your pocket
kalyan:
But with a bunch of painkiller induced euphoria, worlds seems like a marginally tolerable place!
Lovely writing
Thank you!
when the whole world seems a headache in-front of us.
I am generally in that state of mind, with our without wisdom teeth
my wisdom teeth are making an appearance. at times, i feel that something’s stuck between my gums, only to find the uneven surface of a wisdom tooth!
thankfully i’ve no problems till now, inshallah! i hope i haven’t spoken too early!!
btw, thanks for visiting my blog, do come again
Mouth being used as a savings account was the wierdest thing I have heard in a long long time …:-)
Too good a post Sirjee…
Muni - I donno, can’t put it past this groggy - he did lose his wisdom after all
)
My dentist is a Greek God. ..and to top it he’s a good doc as well !!
Reminds me of Ogden nash’s verses
‘ Some tortures are physical and some are mental
But the one that is both is dental ‘
I tell you. I have probably contributed a lion’s share to the swank little semi detached villa my dentist lives in, I feel like asking her to add my name to the titleholder….I have also contemplated, to save money in the longterm and knock off all the teeth at a single GA sitting and getting those sets of put in take out dentures. Save me toothpaste costs also…
Mouth as a savings account! Lol that was funny
And yeah…you forgot to talk about that ‘little’ agreement thay make you sign saying something like taking the wisdon teeth out may, ‘for the lower jaw cause temporary or permanent numbness to your that-part of the face, or in case of upperjaw cause deafness or permanent headaches’!!!!
I was so totally freaked out after reading that! and to add to my discomfort, I happend to meet this handsome young hunk at the waiting room on my -the faitful day, who had what he thinks is only a temporary numbness(he had it for almost n year now) on the left side of his jaw….I so flet for his handsome face when he spoke and the left part of his mouth did not move…it did not make a huge difference on his face, but I can imagine what it can do to an average looking girl like me….so I did manage to keep my lower wisdom tooth, but the upper are gone….no deafness or headaches thankfully!!!
I should write a post myself on the my dentist rants than leaving an annoyingly big coment on someone elses!
Anyways, your post brought back memories!!!
Hey there!!
Thanks for salvaging whats left of today for me
!Until I read your blog,I was kinda down and then all I could think of was the “dentist going on a cruise” remark!!Funny funny stuff!!
I am hooked (onto your blog)
“Ah, you are old fashioned
” — I ain’t old fashioned… I’m a grad student! 
OMG!!! you are scaring me…unfortunately I have some works with the DENTISt:((
GOD save me!!!
OMG!! Dont tell me..i was planning to go to dentist..u scared me up..
ha ha teeth as bank account…guess wisdom teeth is giving lot of wisdom to dentist nowadays..ouuchh! that might have hurt…but its good u took general anesthetic..wldn’t have felt anything otherwise seeing things the dentist is upto scares the shit out
p.s. hiatus is rite of small…but i made the time scale bigger he he so its a small time..;) m really honoured that u do come to my blog..
well, dont remind me please
I am 1 wisdom lesser…. the merciless, heartless dentist could not leave it alone! huh!
Swollen face, yeah! Couldnt open my mouth for a week and had a hard time convincing my hubby that I dont want another wisdom tooth removed
gosh!!! u know something? i had my 4 wisdom teeth removed at one go as recommended by dentist in late June..maybe my dentist won a lottery through my surgery …hehe….. and i had both my cheeks swollen like as if i had mumps..i was under GA …my students kidding me as having teddy bear cheeks…gosh.. i know how u feel the pain…. be on liquid diet…and i have been coming across alot of people having removed their wisdom teeth removed for the past few months…. ouch its painful… take care ya ….:)
hahah!
but well removing teeth can be painful–I have cavities in all my teeth…and it was such a painful experience going to the doctor practically every month!!
this is probably why the dentist took the (wise) precaution of knocking you out cold before yanking your teeth.
- s.b.
I wore braces for three years while at school.The very word dentist makes me want to run.Yet i read your whole post.Now I shall rest to let my palpitating heart limp back to normal!
this is why i avoid dentists. once they get a hold of you you’ll have to spend money all your life or run around worried. Hmm… actually that’s the same reason why I avoid religion too.
LOL! and what a timely post. i changed my dentist coz he publicly called me his “gold mine” (no kidding!). the new one took one look at my teeth, proclaimed my dentation “terrible” and the next thing i knew i had acquired a set of braces and my purse was a few thousands lighter
enjoyed yr post thouroughly! maybe we can form a “we hate dentists”, or “we fund dentists’s retirement plans” or similar community on orkut
i have been to the dentist only once. my mother made me go before i left India because “In Amreeka its very expensive ma, you should do off here only everything” so i went that one time and the guy looked at my teeth and said “You have perfect teeth”. he did some cleaning and sent me home. Ever since i have refused to go to a dentist.
PUHLEEZ.. PUHLEEZ…Can we have a picture of the football field??
oh ho..cheer up….
I think u anyways hadd a lil extra wisdom than is normal or safe…so all’s good
Seriously, get well soon. you might not win an argument with wife but am sure sympathy can be gathered
When we were in college, whenever one of the students had a wisdom tooth surgery, came back with face swollen to giant proportions, we said that their pic can be used for a pathology text book and gave out grave diagnosis and dire prognosis. Its your turn now.
TDNA (I like that name!),
de-lurking.
have read almost all your posts and loved them all! didnt comment thinking about a single drop in the mighty ocean funda.
oh well..
Im 28 and i still have my milk teeth
Bravo!! I am going for this holy mandatory visit soon! Last time I went there I had written a little poem..”God created health, nature, love, wealth and THEN he created dentists and you got robbed…”.
ayyo gnana dantalu poyaya
.. I think they are the most problematic teeth. Ignorance is bliss antaru kada.. so ippudu techincally meeku half-wisdom matramey undi, partly in bliss 
jokes apart, hope all is well now.
Funny, you sound the same with or without the wisdom tooth!
Hahahahahahaha
You won’t believe it, but I have a recently extracted wisdom-tooth (my own of course!) and a resultant partial post ready with me — and here I see your post on exactly the same issues and medical condition. Maybe your anesthesia wore off faster
:D This was hilarious
“Dentist: I need to go on a cruise”
:D lol. Incidentally, I faced one of the worst periods in my life when I had my 2 wisdom teeth extracted together. Was in terrible pain for over a month, couldn’t open my mouth properly (some problem with my ‘trimass’ or something), was on strong painkillers every 4 hours (so much I worried I’d get addicted) - doctors told me that I was “the exception to the rule” since people mostly recover within a week.
Bloody hell. Really a crap time. Wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone.
oh crap, this reminds me i have to go to the dentist. i’ve been avoiding getting my wisdom teeth pulled for the past 2 yrs!!!