Monthly Archive for August, 2007

Pri tagged me to do the “favorites tag.” I am supposed to write down my favorite things. When I got down to writing it, I realized that, like everything else in modern life, my favorites have fine-print too. So read carefully.

• Wife’s sweet voice – when she is telling me to go out with my friends

• Beer bashes – if they serve wine

• Tanks – on pretty girls

• Freshly cleaned shining bathroom – without kid’s toys floating in the commode

• Cats – after I ate two packets of Claritin for breakfast

• Dogs – whose owners don’t share my zip code

• Ice cream - when the next guy is eating a bigger scoop than mine so I can eat guilt-free

• Paris Hilton as an actress – only in home-made movies

• Classical music concerts – when the guy in the next seat doesn’t hum like an irritating mosquito

• Crisp, sunny California mornings – when I am sleeping through them

• Reckless and fearless swimming - in a swimming pool where there is no chance of my drowning even if I tried

• Long phone conversations – Calls to customer services do not count

• People doing this tag - without fine print

Let me tag people who may have more interesting favorites than me:
Melody – With so many things she likes, it’s going to be hard for her to pick her favorite favorites
Asha – Strictly non-food please
Dr. Mosi – Absolutely no talking about your research

Chandni wrote a piece on men and their limbs adorning unexpected shoulders. That reminded me of something that happened when I was in college.

It was a hot summer afternoon. I was doing justice to the good money my parents paid to send me to college by contemplating on my education and college. I was sitting in a movie theatre on a school day along with a friend, but I honestly thought about my education for a whole of 15 seconds.

There was nobody in our near vicinity except for this couple who were sitting right in front of us. If one inspects them closely, which we meticulously did immediately upon arrival, one would notice that the lady looked to be in her 30s and the guy was young, probably less than 20. Let’s call him kid.

About 20 minutes into the movie, we noticed some uncomfortable shuffling in front of us. The kid carefully moved his arm and surreptitiously placed it behind the woman, on the top of the seat, without actually touching her.

My friend and I theorized that the kid was unsure of how the woman was feeling towards him. Was it a casual movie with a neighbor’s kid or was she open for a little fun in the dark? Only time will tell.

It was obvious that the kid felt the hand would be more comfortable around her shoulders and inched it towards her a couple of times but he kept screwing up his courage. It was getting more interesting than the movie so we were paying close attention.

After a couple of minutes, the kid gathered enough nerve to tentatively let his fingers touch her shoulders. She jumped 4 feet in her seat, turned 180 degrees and looked directly in our direction. What did she find? She found two young guys starting at her and drooling abundantly. She concluded based on circumstantial evidence that we had administered that little touch. She gave us a glare enough to melt us in our seats. Fortunately, before she could explore more physically damaging options, the kid gestured to her that it was his hand that trespassed. She gave him a long stare and went back to watching the movie.

All three of us were completely confused (the kid and we two friends). What did she mean by the stare? Did she want the guy to touch or not? By that time, the kid completely lost his nerve. He kept the hand behind her on the seat but he was making no effort to touch her again.

My friend and I concluded that the best move for him would be to touch her again. There was no point in dragging it on. If she was OK with his touch, good for both of them! If she was not, then it’s good too; the kid can move on to the next neighbor. The status quo was not good. Something had to happen.

Something did happen. After 15 minutes, the woman turned to the kid, gave him her patented glare and stormed out of the theatre followed by the completely confused kid. My friend and I bolted out of the theatre in a different direction as soon as they left.

To make sense of this fall out, you have to know what happened just before she walked out. My altruistic friend, wishing to put and end to the kid’s misery, executed a coup de grâce. He gave a quick poke on the woman’s shoulder to set things in motion. If you are wondering why we disappeared from the scene, just imagine what would’ve happened if the woman and kid compared notes and came back for us! I am glad that my hands and legs are still intact.

Update: I might have given the impression that I condone my friend’s behavior towards a woman. I do not. I did not. He got hell from me for this.