Chat busters

Chat is my primary means of communication with friends, colleagues, family and annoying cousins who don’t have internet access. Half the people I befriended in the blogworld are on my chat too. As a result, I chat all day.

There are downsides to chatting all day, apart from Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome. I tend to make typos. Some typos are innocuous. But some promote profound misunderstanding of my character. I was fortunate enough to save some of the biggest typos I did (so that I can use them on a rainy day when I don’t have any other interesting post).

I would like to vindicate myself of some of the unflattering impressions I may have created.

    • I may have rooted for a specific body part of yours (go tit), but I just meant to say I got it.
    • I may have accidentally made sexist comments about random women, (I like her butt), but it was a simple case of an extra “t”. I meant to say “I like her, but….
    • I may have insulted popular people (He is retarded as an authority), I just have regard for them
    • I may have sounded like I was bagging quickies in the middle of the afternoon at work, (back in a sex) but I was just taking a break for a “sec” (without sex, of course)
    • I may have spread vile office rumors about my superiors (he has 20 people blow him). I meant to say that guy has 20 people below him.
    • Just because the PCI port seems to take anything in it, I might have sounded like I was insulting it (stick it in the PCI slut), but I just meant slot
    • I may have asked you to do nasty things to your monitor (Did you tryc licking on the icon). I hope you didn’t try that. Just click on the icon.
    • I may have sounded like I was asking for sexual favors (Can you do me). I was not. At least, not in this instance. It was just an eager-enter syndrome. I pressed enter before typing “a favor”
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65 Responses to “Chat busters”  

  1. 1 Sudipta Chatterjee

    Faarsst!!! GOLDD!! :D

  2. 2 Sudipta Chatterjee

    Now, about these typos, you really expect us to believe they weren’t international (err.. intentional, I mean) or Freudian slips, for that matter? :P

  3. 3 SK

    LOL!! :–)
    I am sure all of us have been some day some time. :-) Good one!

  4. 4 rj

    he he… i am sure we all have been victims of keyboard mishaps and trust me they DO lead to misunderstandings some times :D

  5. 5 Aditi

    Pretty funny!! i am sure we have all made such typos at some time or another

  6. 6 Maverick

    i sometimes say ‘i can do it’ when what actually i meant to say was ‘i cant do it’

    btw love ur blog, so blogrolled u.

  7. 7 Cinamon

    Hilarious…laugh riot… as always.

  8. 8 Dream catcher

    ROFL!!! well u do catch some of finer points of living and present us i our own dish plates with sizzling hilarious humour..!!! hats off to u!

  9. 9 just like that

    LOL. so long as you’re sure it was a slip of the fingers, and just some eager entering…LOL

  10. 10 rads

    lol, ok, this IS funny! :)

  11. 11 chandni

    he he..it is ironic….but today I made a typo on chat… I was aking someone about the dress she wore and ended up suggesting somthing to do with a whore….

    Oops!

  12. 12 Asha

    LOL! Great list.Some of these will get us in real trouble if not corrected quickly!:))

  13. 13 jattzzz

    :D:D:D:DD:D
    I am down here on the floor laughing my as sout!!(typos intended;)

  14. 14 Gnightgirl

    Hilarious. If it’s any consolation, I can’t tell you the number of college textbooks that we’ve worked on over the years that have references to Pubic Laws. Though those are important to, Public Laws were actually being referred to.

  15. 15 The Pilgrim

    I guess, spellings, grammar and punctuation marks do not flow with the chat lingo. :D

  16. 16 Crystal Blur

    Haha! This post reminds me (I don’t know why) of an old forward I got. The forward was an ad for a furniture store called Sofa King. The slogan being, “It is Sofa King good”. You have to say it aloud to get it sometimes…I read it aloud twice before I got it and my friends had a good laugh at my expense :)

  17. 17 Ravi

    LOL…thats funny!!

  18. 18 Preshit

    Ahaa,

    Next time I commit something like this on the chat, I’m gonna lick here.

    Oops, I meant link.

  19. 19 whatsinaname

    Ah!
    Blame it on typos, eh? lol

  20. 20 Twilight Fairy

    WHAT! You beat me at it!!.. :p.. I had a similar post in mind ages back..which never happened so far.. and guess what.. this “go tit” typo is something I always wanted to blog abt :D .. It’s almost like having your secret out in the open :p

    ex-BF and I used to have a lot of those typos.. and laughed crazily at the conversations that followed.. both “go tit” and “ge tit” and the whole bunch :p.

    I also had a crazy assortment of such mistakes.. lemme recollect them and get back :p.

  21. 21 sushma

    aaaaaaaaaaaha.. LOL. nijamganey chesara ivvani???

  22. 22 anisha

    hahahaha :P (you know what thats what my comment is always :P )

  23. 23 Alan

    Hey Twisted. Funny stuff as always. When I first saw the title of the post I thought it was going to be about South Asian snacks. (There’s chat spot not too far away that we stop at on occassion.)

  24. 24 Ok

    Funny. But it is rated R!!! Grrrrr… I wanted to show your blog to my parents. Now I cant!

  25. 25 something to say

    Awesome!!! Its1am and I am ROFL …. great post TD.

  26. 26 La Vida Loca

    hilarious! you always entertain!!

  27. 27 Twisted DNA

    Sudipta Chatterjee :
    GOLDD!!
    LOL. Dude, we are not that popular yet. As you can notice, the next comment didn’t follow for a couple of hours!
    you really expect us to believe they weren’t international
    Is it that obvious? ;)

    SK & Aditi:
    I am sure all of us have been some day some time.
    Ya, it’s just that my chances of making horrible typos is more because I am on chat 27/7 :)

    rj:
    keyboard mishaps […] DO lead to misunderstandings
    I know! I was worried that people would think I am a pervert but most my friends said that won’t be a misunderstanding :)

    Maverick:
    i sometimes say ‘i can do it’ when what actually i meant to say was ‘i cant do it’
    LOL. Saying the opposite is quite a big problem :) I have this “can” and “cant” problem when speaking. Sometimes people misunderstand it as “can” when I say “cant”.
    btw love ur blog, so blogrolled u.
    Thank you very much!

    Cinamon:
    Hilarious…laugh riot… as always.
    Thanks :) I can always count on you for liking my posts!

    Dream catcher:
    hats off to u!
    Thank you! Now that’s a difficult compliment to live up to! But I wil try. So still on break?

    just like that:
    so long as you’re sure it was a slip of the fingers
    Hmm.. I am not under oath, am I? ;)

  28. 28 Twisted DNA

    rads:
    lol, ok, this IS funny! :)
    You really said that!? Are you sure!?

    chandni:
    suggesting somthing to do with a whore….
    ROFL! I hope she is sitll talking to you! Thinking about it, I have friends who would take it as a compliment :)

    Asha:
    Some of these will get us in real trouble if not corrected quickly!
    Recovering from some of them is not easy either!

    jattzzz:
    I am down here on the floor laughing my as sout!!
    LOL.

    Gnightgirl:
    textbooks that we’ve worked on over the years that have references to Pubic Laws.
    Haha! Can’t believe they really do that! If you slip one, I can’t imagine how hilarious kids are going to find it!

    The Pilgrim:
    I guess, spellings, grammar and punctuation marks do not flow with the chat lingo
    Ya, mostly they don’t until I say something completely inappropriate and all of a sudden they seem to matter!

    Crystal Blur:
    ROFL! Your comment was Sofa King good!

    Ravi:
    Thanks Ravi

    Preshit:
    Next time I commit something like this on the chat, I’m gonna lick here.
    ROFL! Dran that is funny :)

    whatsinaname:
    Blame it on typos, eh? lol
    Of course ;)

  29. 29 Twisted DNA

    Twilight Fairy:
    I had a similar post in mind ages back
    You can still do it! Come on.. I am sure you have other funny stuff to say
    and laughed crazily at the conversations that followed.. both “go tit”
    Wait, conversations followed that!? My friends were never ready disucss about that :P Oh, may be if it is the boy friend on the other end, it is different :)
    I also had a crazy assortment of such mistakes.. lemme recollect them and get back :p.
    Please post them. With conversations that followed ;)

    sushma:
    LOL. nijamganey chesara ivvani???
    avunu. adRusTaM bAvuMdi, meeto alAMTi tEDAlu Evi rAlEdu :)

    anisha:
    hahahaha :P (you know what thats what my comment is always :P )
    Glad to hear that :) I will make sure that it remains your comment in for the future posts :)

    Alan:
    I thought it was going to be about South Asian snacks
    LOL, you are like me :P Think of food for everything :)

    Ok:
    Funny. But it is rated R!!! Grrrrr… I wanted to show your blog to my parents. Now I cant!
    Hmm.. I didn’t realize it until you mentioned it. But I guess most of my posts have adult topics of discussion.

    Wait for a clean post and give it to them :) They probably won’t read more than a couple of posts :)

    BTW, it’s nice of you to think of passing it on to your parents!

    something to say & La Vida Loca:
    Thank you guys :)

  30. 30 Anupama

    “he has twenty people blow him”
    definitely indian ;)
    nice one!

  31. 31 rads

    well, I donno, you got me in a flippant mood I suppose :D

  32. 32 Srikanth

    Who doesnt say “English is a funny language” :)

  33. 33 Karen

    this was funny… especially the comment “Sofa King Good”… some piece of advertising!

  34. 34 drama div@

    the typos you made were hilarious.LOL… made me smile :D Thanks!

  35. 35 si

    very funny. we had someone in our office send an all-users email with “pubic” instead of “public”… :-) and i’ve typed “go tit” before (think i’ve caught it before hitting the send button).

  36. 36 Pallavi

    hehehehe!!! what do u expect when u chat all day with several people..n yes when do u work man??

  37. 37 How Do We Know

    hooo hoooo!! Moral of the story: You can make even innocuous little things appear funny. The rest of us can just make them appear mundane.

  38. 38 Twilight Fairy

    ok .. here’s one typo that I *just* made..and I came running here to append it to this list :p

    ****serious philosophical conversation****
    aren’t all of us in some illusion?
    trying to psyche ourselves
    that we are all happy creatures
    running after that elusive peace of mine?

    mind?
    ****end of serious philosophical conversation****

    :P ROTFL

  39. 39 Kiran Manral

    Beautiful. reminds me of the time almost got sacked from job at megalithic newspaper in India for letting a headline about a “Riot at a pubic meeting” (public). Needless to say, havent yet learnt from my mistakes….

  40. 40 Prasanna

    ROTFL….Guess typos are better than barging into a salon shop and asking out loud how much it costs for a haircut and a blow job!! Atleast the others dont see your face!

  41. 41 PS

    Ha ha ha–that was indeed hilariuos.I could relate to the chat bit–but then only when i really need to de-stress.Else I’m painting,reading,mothering,creating material for my workshop,listening to music,thinking–but definitely NOT cleaning wardrobes!! LOL [:D}
    Thanks for stoppin by!

  42. 42 nz

    Great post. I am sure we all have done such typos at some time or the other - I do them quite a lot but you remember them and the way you present them with a dash of humour makes it hilarious ! Keep writing and making us smile :-)

    Thanks for stopping by, I have missed couple of your posts but will come back to read them all soon :-)

  43. 43 rebel

    20 ppl blow him was seriously funny!
    And did you realise that letter which when replaced by other letters give really bad meanings are always close to each other in the keyboard!

    Another Murphy’s law perhaps!

  44. 44 freespirit

    so why are u not on my chatlist???

  45. 45 Ekta

    hahahah!
    This is hilarious!!…heres one i do often!!
    “Are u busy”?…and by mistake it ends up “are you busty”?;-)

  46. 46 Wanderlust

    This is what I get pretty often from my friends ..
    “When r u Cumin to INDIA?? Cum soon so that we can have a party… Ab karlo baat :-)

  47. 47 nachi

    sow ha tit happens!!! not hings wrong in zat!!! :P

    bad typos are a part of our lives..lets accept them and move on…there’s always more to happen around the corner!!

    by the way, how come i ma not on you chat list?????????

  48. 48 Stone

    Once I wrote to a friend “How is our son doing?” instead of “How is your son doing?”
    After that incident we don’t talk much!

  49. 49 Aman

    ROFTL man..
    that were soe typos.lol

  50. 50 Twisted DNA

    Anupama:
    definitely indian ;)
    Haha. I am not spreading rumors ;)

    Srikanth:
    Who doesnt say “English is a funny language” :)
    Well, speakers of English sure make it funny :)

    Karen:
    this was funny… especially the comment “Sofa King Good”… some piece of advertising!
    Yep, I found that sofa king hilarious too. I am even using it these days :)

    drama div@:
    made me smile
    The purpose of the post is served :)

    si:
    “pubic” instead of “public”…
    Haha! From what I heard it’s apparently a common mistake. But sending it to all people, now that’s really funny! I hope at least the context it was used is not too funny. You know, hope he/she is not trying to say “keep all public areas clean all the time”.

    Pallavi:
    when do u work man??
    Ya, I have to squeeze it in between messages. Stupid work, it becomes a very annoying interruption some times

  51. 51 Twisted DNA

    How Do We Know:
    You can make even innocuous little things appear funny
    Yep, the down side of having a self-proclaimed humor blog :) Every moment in your life you are thinking, is it funny enough to post

    Twilight Fairy:
    running after that elusive peace of mine?
    Haha. Sounds like some sort of Al-Qaida philosophy :)

    Kiran Manral:
    from job at megalithic newspaper in India
    LOL! That is one job where one can’t afford to make a typo. I am so glad I am not in newspaper business!

    Prasanna:
    asking out loud how much it costs for a haircut and a blow job
    ROFL!! Darn, that was funny!
    salon
    Glad to see somebody spelling it right! I don’t know how many people I told one can’t get a haircut (or a blow job) at a “saloon” :)

    PS:
    I could relate to the chat bit–but then only when i really need to de-stress
    Me too… it just looks like I am stressed most of the time ;)

    nz:
    Keep writing and making us smile
    Yep, my mission in life :)
    Thanks for stopping by
    Pleasure is all mine!

  52. 52 Twisted DNA

    rebel:
    Another Murphy’s law perhaps!
    Haha. Actually you are right. “u”, “i” and “o” are so close it’s easy to create typos that correctly spell another word!

    freespirit:
    so why are u not on my chatlist???
    You have not right to say that Miss. Busy! Now that you are on my list, I will see how many times you will be online!

    Ekta:
    “Are u busy”?…and by mistake it ends up “are you busty”?
    Haha! I am glad I never said that to any girl! Or, to a guy for that matter!

    Wanderlust:
    “When r u Cumin to INDIA?? Cum soon so that we can have a party… Ab karlo baat :-)
    Lol… I get that too and I have no idea how to tell them not to use it!

    nachi:
    sow ha tit happens!!! not hings wrong in zat!!!
    Haha.Nope. Not Hings Wrong :)
    by the way, how come i ma not on you chat list
    Because you use that funny piece of software called Yahoo Messenger :P Actually I should get on Yahoo too. You don’t happen to have a Gmail account, do you?

    Stone:
    “How is our son doing?”
    ROFL! Man that is hilarious!

    Aman:
    that were soe typos.lol
    “soe typos”? lol. Is that an intentional typo?

  53. 53 Mahathma

    I once typed to a girl at office in the intranet messenger

    Why cunt you cum for a coffee :-) .

    Of Course She doesnt talk to me these days …

    awsome post bro!

    my new blog http://ukissmyglass.blogspot.com/

  54. 54 mosilager

    I’ve said most of those things, but probably not accidentally. That’s why nobody speaks to me on chat any more.

  55. 55 OrangeJammies

    There you go again, shining in your brilliance! I have a complaint to register: you may have me on messenger but I certainly don’t see enough of you around. No fair!

  56. 56 Dream catcher

    yeah..:( break for bit long..

    but m sticking to some of the blogs reading..which m totally hooked on to ;)

  57. 57 Cinamon

    I have a compliant like all the others.. i have you on my chat list, then how “cum” i dont get to chat with you????

  58. 58 Khayaal

    Hi TD !

    Refreshing blogs :)

  59. 59 Twisted DNA

    Mahathma:
    Why cunt you cum for a coffee
    Which of the two misspellings was the actual typo? :P
    my new blog http://ukissmyglass.blogspot.com/
    Ok, really? Who are you running from?! Haha, I know you don’t like that question but it’s still fun to ask!

    mosilager:
    I’ve said most of those things, but probably not accidentally.
    My trick is, I say these things and wait for reaction. If there is a silence or surprise, I pass it off as a typo :P

    OrangeJammies:
    Dil! Looks like we both keep missing each other! I will try to get hold of you, we have a lot of catching up to do.

    Dream catcher:
    By the way, “hiatus” has a connotation of being short :P

    Cinamon:
    :(

    Khayaal:
    Hi Khayaal, Thanks for stopping by! Leave your blog URL next time you are here please so I can know more about you!

  60. 60 Kalyan Banerjee

    I make a lot of typo, but never quite used them for double-entendre. I will do it now (-_^)

  61. 61 Rahul

    Awesome and refreshing collection!
    I could relate to all the typos mentioned in your post and those mentioned in the comments as well — having committed them on various occasions — mostly inadvertently, and once in a while deliberately too!

  62. 62 Twilight Fairy

    Well it sounded more like “piece of mine” :p..

    and like everyone is hankering.. err.. why arent u on the chat list of so many of us? :P :D

  63. 63 Divsu

    The “tryc licking” thing happens to me very often. Good post!

  64. 64 Melody

    OMG!!! Am ridiculously late in commenting, but I have to say, twisted, you crack me up!!! Was totally lol-ing (for real) at every one of those!!

    AMAZINGLY funny!!!

  65. 65 barath

    Hey cool! it happens to everyone! but nice to have taken it in a lighter vein n enjoy the things ew do! Lol…..

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