Make most out of your next group lunch
Published June 13th, 2007If you have the refined art, you can turn every little pleasure in life into a business opportunity where you can save a buck, make a buck or be an absolute cheapo.
Take, for example, group lunches. These days any tiny reason is good enough for some workless co-worker to pipe up saying “Wow, we should do a group lunch.” It could be anything from leaving employees to somebody losing virginity, it doesn’t matter; we do group lunches.
As you know, all participants, willing or otherwise, split the check (bill) evenly in these group lunches. So how do you get the best bang for your buck? Here are some tips I have seen used in real life. Yes, people do really use them.
1. Make the suckers pay for dinner: When ordering your lunch, innocently order two entrees, as if you thought one was just an appetizer. When the food arrives, feign surprise and say, “Oh boy. That’s a lot of food. Can I get it to go?” And, of course, don’t offer to pay for it separately. There. You simply made rest of the people pay for your dinner.
2. Spice up your drink: As you would notice, people don’t order alcoholic beverages at group lunches. Their loss. Order a beer. You don’t have to get up on the table and shout that you are getting a beer. Do it quietly. With one wave of hand and a quick word with the waiter, you made your group pay for your beer!
3. Eat lunch like a prince: Of course the age old trick of ordering the most ridiculously expensive food on the menu, which you would think twice to order even in your dreams. Same goes with drink. Don’t just order Coke. Find some fancy European crap - something that sounds like Fancio Italiano Crapo. Don’t worry; your colleagues are paying for most of it.
4. Bon Appetizer: If you have an esoteric taste in appetizers, just place two orders for the appetizer without consulting anybody else. You will ostensibly share it but in essence you will get most of it. Jackpot if you go out to lunch with a group of mostly vegetarians and you eat meat!
5. Eat the tip: When the check arrives, claim you have no cash and put down your credit card. Then take the check, add tip, split it evenly and round the amount to the next dollar for convenience. As you can easily guess when you add all the contributions you will end up with more money than what you have to pay. Just sign the credit card receipt for actual amount + tip. The remaining couple of bucks are yours to keep! (I swear I saw this happen).
41 Responses to “Make most out of your next group lunch”
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Our core group and various hangers-on always go for Indian buffet at least once a month. It costs everyone the same, so it’s more difficult to pull something off. But thanks for the tips.
haha…. its so hilarious dude! yeah ordering some Italian crapo drink or some French wine would burn a pocket on the whole as well is a good idea… haha…. this post of yours is so hilarious….
I think these ideas are so cheap!! Who came up with all these!! Alcohol for lunch? :0
I recently discovered your blog (via Desipundit) and have enjoyed the posts immensely. Good stuff!
O i have seen many of these in practice. Esp when I was working - and its not hard to identify these cheapos. O and I used to avoid them like plague - making up most inane reasons. Primarily becoz I am a real small eater - and I dont want to pay for someone else’s meal.
Does that make me cheap too???
C’mon now, TD….’fess up: you did these didn’t ya? There’s no way you could be peering over people’s shoulders to *observe* these!
Why do i feel that there is a lot of hands-on experience here?? But yes, i agree, i have paid many a times for complete cheapos. Finally i stopped going out with office gang. Saves money, pity and ill will.
You have hit very close to reality.. Good post.
Sigh! We poor graduate students don’t do group lunches. But we have our own weapons- When invited to anything that says “Free food” go! and make sure you stuff your pockets. If your advisor/other profs invite you to party, go and stuff yourself. Nothing wrong in asking for to go boxes
And most imp- when using department credit card to entertain future students/faculty - go to the most expensive restaurent, order the best food and make sure you get stocked up for 2 days of free food
TD.. i forgot to add as usual.
Great, is that what I have to look forward to once I join the workplace? Time to move back to plan A: become a millionaire and retire while also doing plan C: stay in school and amass degrees.
very funny! but sometimes there are surprises and after some folks hogged we did “pay what each one ate”.
Thanks for the tips. Just hoping no one from my group checks this post.
where did u learn these tips, i wonder!
Thankfully, i’ve been blessed with colleagues who usually pay for exactly what they ate/drank based on the check. So, its not been that much of an issue. But yup…i’ve seen it happen.
Hahaahaha…. awesome post as usual. And thanks for the timely tips… they shall come handy soon!
Very funny but I think in the long term these actions might back fire.
yep.. all these “tips” are very familiar…. that was till we stopped doing the “group” lunches.
Alan:
it’s more difficult to pull something off
Don’t forget to order a good mango lassi
lalitha:
some French wine would burn a pocket
But it has to be done carefully though. If everybody starts ordering it, then it will hurt us too!
Asha:
I think these ideas are so cheap
Oh thaaks for the compliment!
Alcohol for lunch?
Ahem.. eh.. ya, we are in the West coast and we work harder. We could use a bit of relaxation at lunch.
But seriously, most companies in Bay Area provide beer at almost all office parties, be at noon or in the evening.
Crystal Blur:
Thank you ma’am. Glad you liked it
Something to Say:
I am a real small eater
Man, that is a curse
You will end up paying for all the big eaters!
OrangeJammies:
you did these didn’t ya
No I didn’t really do them. But I am not saying I am not a cheapo. I observe other people so that they don’t pull these tricks on me
Cinamon:
Why do i feel that there is a lot of hands-on experience here??
Why is it that nobody believes me? I am such an honest, innocent and straight-forward guy
TD.. i forgot to add as usual.
Didn’t get it
Sakshi:
We poor graduate students
These tricks don’t work with grad students though. They are all very street-smart!
Nothing wrong in asking for to go boxes
I am not a grad student but I am very much like you in this respect
Dr Mosi:
is that what I have to look forward to once I join the workplace?
If you think this is the worst to expect at work place, you have another thing, not a lot of other things, coming!
Time to move back to plan A:
LOL. I vote for plan D. Become a millionaire and help TD become one too!
Pallavi:
we did “pay what each one ate
Ouch, that’s below the belt.. that’s where the wallet is
Jason:
Just hoping no one from my group checks this post
LOL. I should be worried about that. Imagine what happens if one of my group members sees this post!
freespirit:
i’ve been blessed with colleagues
What is the blessing if they just pay for themselves. It is a blessing if they pay for you too
where did u learn these tips
I am very observant (rad paranoid)
Sudipta Chatterjee:
And thanks for the timely tips… they shall come handy soon
Haha. I am glad to see that. I was thinking you were going to make me pay for the coffee. Now that I know you have plans of contributing, I can sleep peacefully
We are on for meeting tomorrow, right?
Chacko:
in the long term these actions might back fire
Ya, we have to keep changing the tricks or the group
How do we know:
we stopped doing the “group” lunches
Ah, you are not fun!
As usual …. meant good post as usual.
Haha the tips come toolate. Everybody knows about it. Plus desis have a reputation for being cheapos anyway. So watch out.
inko aanimutyam
.
Oh I should totally send this it to DH!
Even if we are as magnanimous as we can be, us vegetarians and teetotallers always lose out on these group lunches…so a few of these sneaky tips aren’t too bad to implement!
hehe…hey me in NJ… have been a couple of weeks, getting use to but its quite the same actually like it ws in Delhi, actually trying to get use to COOL ppl! yeah! people do comment on your face! those show offs, could neihter stand them there nor here, anyways, it’l take some more for the volcano in me to finally erupt! :
:P
lol..i cant stop laughing at this post of yours…have been so dumb not to realise and gain some quick bucks…hehehee
Cinamon:
Oh, got it now! I am a little slow, you know.
Sunshine:
desis have a reputation for being cheapos
Ya, these tips don’t apply to desis. Our best bet is shouting “Dutch” as soon as the check comes.
Sushma:
.
inko aanimutyam
Thank you!
Kodi’s Mom:
us vegetarians and teetotallers
Oh boy! If you are a vegetarian and a teetoteller, then you really get the raw end of the deal!
Anisha Dutt:
We should catch up some time and you should fill me in!
Sounds like you are already having a lot of fun
Mehak:
have been so dumb
No, you have been decent not a cheapo. That’s a grave mistake
I have seen the “eat the tip” thing happen a number of times. Often thought of doing it myself, but was too shy to try it.
You are quick to the draw.. this time the line was not clear.
Hey…
Great post as usual… BUt trust me that is the only way of revenge when u really feel the company is not worth your time… GRRRRRR
Dee
very true - thats why i avoid grpp lunches. dillemma- if u pay - it is very difficult to get people to contribute back .. u might end up losing the money and paying for others or asking like a beggar for your own money for months together
h aha ha hha very true, infact I’ve seen most of this happening in the past 8 years and I am generally on the losing side..coz me a veggie
.
A very good post indeed!!
Ok, not a funny comment but a factual one. I used to go out often with a group of friends where we split the bill equally at the end. Trouble is that some used to get to the restaurant / club earlier (you missed this point!!) than I usually showed up & they’d order entrees, lots of drinks etc.
Also, since I don’t drink alcohol I usually end spending a lot more than I should probably since I’m splitting the cost of everyone’s drinks too. Most unfair I think.
I once suggested that at least the alcohol bill should be split only by those drinking (since it was a different bill from the bar anyway) and this was followed that night. Next time, same story though. And I felt like a mighty cheapo, so I didn’t bring it up again.
Wish there was an easier way out of these things.
wow!!! gr8 tip..today i tried it works ..he he
ok, I know you are kidding, but seriously, people do this? :O
It’s so frikkin* cheap!
Rahul:
You sound like a decent guy and you know what happens to decent guys, they get ripped off
but was too shy to try it.
Lol. I honestly you are not trying hard enough to be a cheapo
Dee:
This is some way to get some revenge. Ideally we should avoid the company but we don’t always have that option!
u really feel the company is not worth your time
Most companies are not worth our time
itchingtowrite:
asking like a beggar for your own money for months together
LOL! One of the things I like about US is that, the splitting of the check happens right in the restaurant. I agree the one person paying will never get his/her money back!
risha:
me a veggie
Now you understand my frustration
Melody:
I don’t think you are being stingy. I would feel the same. You have two options:
1. The preferred option, start drinking alcohol. If you haven’t already learned the joys of red wine, I will make it my first order of business when/if we meet.
2. Find the most expensive non-alcoholic drink and enjoy multiple rounds of it. Most cocktails can be made “virgin” and they cost the same as alcoholic cocktails
But in any case, people arriving early and putting things on the tab is unacceptable. I think it is perfectly appropriate to insist that people pay for their own drinks!
Oh, I have one more suggestion. Next time take another friend with you and make sure this friend can drink a lot more than anybody else. From next time everybody else will be proposing that they pay for their own alcohol
Dream Catcher:
Great to know! Feel free to add your own tips!
rads:
people do this?
I swear, I have seen all these happen!
It’s so frikkin* cheap!
Yep!
That was funny!LOL!!
Hahaha man you are a cheapo!
But i swear I have tried a couple of them
Jackpot works big time!
Round off is tricky
@ ‘Fancio Italiano Crapo’
ROFL…
I havent even completed reading the rest of ur post yet..Thats how funny it was!