When people are happy in life, they have a tendency to ruin it. They do things like getting married. I don’t have a problem if people get married, as long as they don’t expect me to show up with blessings and $100 gift cards. But I didn’t crib too much when a Punjabi acquaintance of ours invited us for their daughter’s wedding and corresponding lunch. I heard Punjabi weddings serve the most delicious food.
On the day of the wedding, we got delayed and arrived a little late to the wedding but on time for lunch. I was starving by the time we got to the venue. The hot sun and long drive didn’t bother me; the lure of the mouth-watering makki-di-rotis and lassis kept me going.
There has to be a Murphy’s Law that says all occasions that you need to wear a suit for happen at mid-afternoon with a blazing 100 degrees out there. And of course, the wedding has to be in a gurudwara on the top of a hill and the parking lot is almost full. So you park in the furthermost parking spot available. While contemplating the life’s irony of having to climb a hill exactly when you are wearing the most uncomfortable leather shoes, your kid has to go, as-a-matter-of-factly, “Dad, I need to pee. Now.” Nothing like a sprint up the hill to work your appetite.
After the bathroom visit, we went straight to the main event of the wedding. Lunch. As I made my way into the dining room, a guy at the door politely informed me that I needed to cover my hair with a cloth, as it was the Sikh custom. I more politely informed him that I am not a Sikh. About 10 people around me politely informed me that it didn’t matter.
I had to wear a rag from the pile of recycled charity rags that adorned many an oily hair before. I didn’t hesitate to comply because it was close to 1PM and I was so hungry that these Earthly matters couldn’t stand between me and Lunch.
To our horror we realized the buffet was almost empty. No Makki-di-roti. No Aloo-Amritsari. No Pista lassi. No nothing. What was left was a heap of paneer pakodas and some mystery daal.
After a brief huddle with the family, we decided to make do with the deep fried cheese. And, boy was it delicious! I ate so much that I could barely move. By the time we finished our lunch, the dining hall was empty and the buffet tables were being removed. Then something odd happened. They started rearranging the buffet tables and decorating them. Being the curious person I am, I caught a worker and asked what the hell was going on.
Worker: We are setting up for lunch
Me: What did I just eat then?
Worker: Oh, that was breakfast.
The eventual lunch looked delicious. I had to be content just by looking at it as my prudish wife strongly felt I shouldn’t ask for a to-go box at a wedding.
oh you should have – to go i mean.. they wouldn’t have minded , am sure.. punjus love their food and anyone who appreciates it :p
LOL!!!! OMG!!!!!
“wanna pee”s a classic,believe me we have gone thru hundreds of times!
They eat fried Paneer for breakfast!!Not good bhai,although anything tastes great when you are hungry!;D
Well,next time be there early and you can have both Breakfast and lunch with rag on of course or even better ,take your own rag!
ROFL ! haha! u shud have PRETENDED having lunch in a similar way! u would have ended up having delicious dinner then!
“There has to be a Murphy’s Law that says all occasions that you need to wear a suit for happen at mid-afternoon with a blazing 100 degrees out there.”
My dad would agree with you. He incidentally refuses to wear a suit/tie almost every time he has to & literally has to be cajoled into it or threatened with “then we won’t go with you”s.
Also
at the post. Paneer breakfast enough to fill you? I would have have sampled the lunch nevertheless. Perhaps another Pee-Break in between would have helped digestion.
When people are happy in life, they have a tendency to ruin it. They do things like getting married.
Hahaha. That is so funny
Using it as my excuse when people ask why I am still single 
By the way, why did you forget the desi time rule? Take the given time, add couple hours to it, subtract time taken for you to get ready, add time taken by wife to dress, multiply with number of kids and divide by 10 ! That should have put you in time for lunch
lol!
yes, we panjus are big on food:-)I always give notice to my new friends about keeping fast for 1-2 days before coming to my place;-)
OMG OMG OMG.. U poor thing actually ate breakfast assuming it was lunch!!!
I am ROTFL…
What is it with guys and FOOOOODDDDD!!!!! Nothin fascinates you people more than food…. when the cousins had come down for my weddin, they had a great time, the food played a major part. You should see the pictures on their blogs….
http://wtfishappeningaorundme.blogspot.com/2007/05/its-raining-food.html
http://jovanmartins.blogspot.com/
Anyway.. we had a great time.
And you should cut down on the oily stuff…..
Ha ha. Whenever I go to weddings, I do not ask my relatives/friends timings for lunch/dinner. Upon reaching the venue, I check it out with the caterer by peeping into dining hall. This method is fool-proof.
Twilight Fairy :
punjus love their food and anyone who appreciates it
I know! And who better would’ve appreciated food than me!
Asha:
“wanna peeâ€s a classic,believe me we have gone thru hundreds of times!
LOL. Exactly. When we are anxious to get some thing done, the kid seems equally anxious to go to the bathroom
anything tastes great when you are hungry!
Fried panneer tastes pretty awesome even when I am not hungry
,next time be there early and you can have both Breakfast and lunch
and if I stay late, may be I can get dinner too
rads:
LOL, ya. I keep forgetting to adjust my time
The Mahathma:
u shud have PRETENDED having lunch in a similar way!
If I could’ve brought the food home, I wouldn’t have to “pretend”
By the way, from the pictures I see that you guys had a blast!
Melody:
“then we won’t go with youâ€s.
Wouldn’t it be like two birds at one shot for him if you didn’t go?
I would have have sampled the lunch nevertheless.
Ok, I haven’t been totally truthful in the post. I did of course sample
Pee-Break in between would have helped
Don’t think I didn’t think about it. But these kids these days don’t pee on cue anymore.
Sakshi:
Using it as my excuse when people ask
No that excuse won’t work. Because you don’t know you were happy until you got married
Take the given time, add couple hours to it…
ROFL!
mommyof2:
I always give notice to my new friends about keeping fast for 1-2 days before coming to my place
You never gave me any notice. Oh wait, you never invited me for dinner! Oh my god. Being a punjabi and being able to cook punjabi food and not inviting me to dinner is a CRIME!
void:
U poor thing actually ate breakfast assuming it was lunch
I know, it’s quite stupid but you see when I am hungry brain just seeks food without much thinking
Karen:
Nothin fascinates you people more than food…
Ahem.. there are a few other things which we don’t generally discuss
You should see the pictures on their blogs
Looks like you guys had a lot of fun!
And you should cut down on the oily stuff
Already showing signs of a married woman
(Sorry couldn’t resist it 
)
Lavs
LOL. You have a very neatly laid out procedure! Very organized. I need to get organized in my raids for food too
Haha. Do ALL Indians attend weddings for the food? I know I (and family) do! I mean seriously, what other motivation could people have for attending a wedding (unless they are the ones getting married)?
LOL at the to go box
yay yay! wazza blast alright! still get the brrps at times
You enjoyed & were full with whatever you had so shouldn’t be complaining
Don’t know you enough to make statements like “Serves you right
” – Oops did I say it?
hahaha… moral of the story..wen it comes to food.. one should always take complete information as to whats the plan for the day.. and the IST thing.. i mean.. cmon man.. we are Indians.. for us its more like Indian stretchable Time…
Sajeeve = Mahathma btw
weddings are for 2 things (Unless you are the bride or groom or their parents) – dress to their teeth and eat enough for 20 people. The only wedding where I didn’t eat well was my own. So they had a dal like thing for appetizers?
Its always great fun to read your blogs. Lifts my mood even on the worst days ……ur an amazing writer
hehe!!!!! I know the feeling,I end up eating snacks and with no space in the stomach for dinner but thats because the dinner sucks! ur case is hilarious! it was intentional! lol
Looks like someone was not naughty this time thou’. For an urgent pee, a coke can helps a lot for a boy;)
Aare you should eat first and then worry later. Why let the stomach dictate the mouth?
HaHa !!! I take this as a piece of precaution for attending weddings
!!
he he he heh ohh pooor you, but you cud have taken take away….punjus rather all Indians appreciate the appreciation.
Anyways u cant complain much…paneer was equally tasty was’nt it?
Next time me gonna be cautious while attending weddings, Actually something similar happened to me in US when invited for meal…good you reminded me….will write a blog on it
I loved reading your blog
Keep writing
so sad.. missing having a fill of good food is a crime… i feel sorry on ur behalf
Ayyyooo… idi nijamga daarunam kada
trying to imagine your look(with your profile pic) of yours 
).. amazing write-up yet again 
It was an amazing twist in the tale…
I was surprised after the first half that “lunch” is over by 1PM
very funny — and i take it you couldn’t find any room in your stomach for lunch?? even a little? would’ve been tempted for a to-go box too!
i had a person who worked for me that was sikh/punjabi (i’m sure she still is — she just doesn’t work for me anymore). her description of the weddings she attended (which there were a lot of), let alone the engagement parties, were legendary for the ceremony and the FOOD!
signs of a married woman, veryyyyyyyyyy funny. These are signs of a woman who watches Oprah ;0)
karen! i laughed so hard i woke my baby up, lol! wait ! eh er! thts a cat! what was i thinking ?
here is the guy who u hate with oprah http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQcFYUBLzcw
TDNA ! I am waiting for ur next post like a alien who has given birth to 48 offsprings !
My sympathies. That is just a heart-breaking story.
“Being a punjabi and being able to cook punjabi food and not inviting me to dinner is a CRIME!”
Before I get blamed for a crime like this, here you go! Please to be dropping in any time you come to saddi dilli :p
Sudipta, “Aare you should eat first and then worry later. Why let the stomach dictate the mouth?”
Shhh! such policies may result in dire consequences like this.
.
LOL on your child’s timeliness…more LOL or your wife’s disciplinarian side
hee hee haa haa!! i laughed out loud while reading this post, then made 2 other ppl read it, and they laughed out loud too.. dont ignore the suggestion, you might be sitting on a mountain of royalty. All you have to do is to put all this together, get it printed, then make sure u get the royalties. Dont worry abt the sales – we will all c to that.
OK, next time, remember, the Punjus serve 2 khanas – the breakfast, and the lunch.
Oh, and did i mention? My favorite part of the post? “10 ppl around me informed me equally politely that it did not matter. “
A two meal deal! Sounds like good value.
I am rolling with laughter…. My God why you of all people get caught in such
I am rolling with laughter…. My God why you of all people get caught in such situations
hahahaha…that was a good one ! Dont we all love punjabi food – so rich !!
But how can you forget that it was an Indian invitation and things will happen as per IST ( INdian stretchable time ) ??? Did you honestly think that lunch will be finished by 1pm ???
Great post, as usual
U r one amazing writer…very very humorous..
wow! panner pakoda anwyas are always a hit!!
Too funny. happened to my brother once where he and one of our uncle all of them who were gathered at a frined house for a get together decided to jump on the pani puri and bhel as dinner only to find that was appetizer and that there was dosa for the dinner
@ Twilight Fairy — thanks for reminding me of that ossum poem! Well, apparently if you have a stomach like mine, you can throw in all you like and it still works properly.
hahah!
this is hilarious!!:-)
well atleast u got something to eat!
haha… so funny…. so actually u were pretty early for lunch…. so did u managed to finish all the food served at the lunch?
Oh yes Punjabi weddings .. don’t even remind me of the yummilicious foood … oh i so miss India .. and you’ve got me all nostalgic now
lol u meant paneer pakodas didn’t you? they’re yummeh! Being a punjabi myself ( not sikh though) I miss the shaadiyon ka khaana
*slurp slurp*
btw you could have got the lunch packed ;p punjabis are dildaar people .. they wouldn’t mind it lol
Ha ha! TDNA, you are funny, funny, funny!
At least you got to eat something nice! Of course you probably missed some things nicer! (I had to throw that in!)
That was hilarious !!
You have a great sense of humour and I like your style of writing very much.
All your posts make me laugh.
Sneha:
Do ALL Indians attend weddings for the food?
Yes. (I am speaking for myself)
unless they are the ones getting married
There is even lesser motivation if this is the case
Agony Aunt:
LOL at the to go box
How come nobody takes my to-go-box idea seriously!
Sajeeve:
wazza blast alright!
I assure you, it was not
Sunita:
so shouldn’t be complaining
That is the best part of any function. Complaining about it afterwards!
Serves you right
Nobody served me anything by the way
Apy:
one should always take complete information as to whats the plan
I completely agree. I learned the lesson the hard way
Indian stretchable Time
LOL. Never heard that definition for IST
The Mahathma:
Sajeeve = Mahathma
= Priyanka! How many other names do you have?
munimma:
You forgot the third thing: Whine about the wedding and blog about it
So they had a dal like thing for appetizers?
Yes, some chana thing. I think it is just to throw off unsuspecting guests like me:)
kanika:
ur an amazing writer
Wow! Can’t ask for a better compliment. Thank you very much!
Anisha Dutt:
it was intentional!
No no
Would I be intentionally missing a punjabi lunch! 
pria:
For an urgent pee, a coke can helps a lot for a boy
Funny you should say that. Just today, we were thinking about the coke can in a speeding car on Freeway 101. We finally decided it was best to pull over and let him water the plants on the side of the highway!
Sudipta Chatterjee:
Why let the stomach dictate the mouth?
Haha. Did that way too many times to realize it is a bad idea
ScRiBbLeR:
Totally! Don’t be fooled into eating breakfast for lunch!
risha:
paneer was equally tasty was’nt
lol. Ya, can’t complain too much!
will write a blog on it
Waiting…
venkat:
Thank you. Will definitely do so.
itchingtowrite:
i feel sorry on ur behalf
Thank you. If enough people feel sorry, there must be some kind heard around bay area who would invite me for some good home cooked Makki-di-roti
Sushma:
nijamga daarunam kada
parama mosam!
amazing write-up
Thank you!
Srikanth:
I was surprised after the first half that “lunch†is over by 1PM
I wish I had that kid of sense
But you are right, it was something to be suspicious about if the lunch was over at 1!
si:
i\’m sure she still is\. she just doesn\’t work for me anymore
ROFL! Good one
Karen:
These are signs of a woman who watches Oprah
Watching Oprah is a sign of either about get married or just got married
Sorry, can’t stop teasing you. Hope you are having a wonderful time in Chennai
The Mahathma:
given birth to 48 offsprings
Did you hit a century by now? Sorry it’s taking me forever to find time
The_Girl_From_Ipanema:
That is just a heart-breaking story
Thank you! You are the only one who understood and sympathized with me!
Twilight Fairy:
Please to be dropping in any time you come to saddi dilli
I take all matters related to food very serious. So don’t mind if I really do
in dire consequences
Dire consequences never sounded so poetic
Pallavi:
LOL or your wife’s disciplinarian side
You ain’t seen nothing yet
How do we know:
then made 2 other ppl read it
Can I hire you as my marketing manager?
get it printed
how do you know my deep, dark secrets!
next time, remember, the Punjus serve 2 khanas – the breakfast, and the lunch
I wish I knew it before. Next time I sure won’t forget it
Alan:
A two meal deal! Sounds like good value
Thanks and welcome back, Sir. Alan (Everybody who visits England gets knighted, right?)
Dee:
My God why you of all people
You have no idea how many times I ask this question
nz:
Did you honestly think that lunch will be finished by 1pm
I honestly did. BUt looking back at it, it was quite stupid of me
Dream Catcher:
U r one amazing writer…very very humorous
Thank you very much. I truly appreciate the encouragement!
Tulan:
Haha! Always funny to hear such stories.
Ekta:
well atleast u got something to eat
True. that was a the consolation prize
lalitha:
so did u managed to finish all the food served
No. There was no room for lunch; that was the problem
Loon Gal:
and you’ve got me all nostalgic now
You konw, you can get married and invite me…. ok scratch that…
punjabis are dildaar people
I told so to my wife but she insisted asking for to-go was not appropriate at a wedding!
Vani:
Of course you probably missed some things nicer
LOL. Dont even remind me waht I missed! I still repent it
you are funny, funny, funny
Thank you, ma’am!
Ravi:
Thank you very much! I will try my best to keep up the quality!
TD! You’re fantastic! I only wish you’d pop up more often!
Ha ha, great post! My first time in your blog. I am sure to come back often.
Hahahaha! wonderful post! paneer (fried paneer) for b’fast!! ~urp~!!!
When people are happy in life, they have a tendency to ruin it. They do things like getting married.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! shaadi ke laddu, kahye to pachtai, na kahye to pachtai!!!
lol
The illusions of an empty tummy?
HAHAHA!
so u ended eating breakfast for lunch
poor you!