Extra! Extra! at Twisted DNA

Extra! Extra!

Published April 29th, 2007

So everybody heard about the heinous crimes of Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere. You probably only heard what the newspapers reported so far. But our excellent team of investigative journalists at Twisted News dug deep into this matter and uncovered dark secrets and hidden truths!

Judge Gupta who declared Gere’s acts, “highly sexually erotic” has been found to own a collection of porn tapes that exclusively consist of people kissing passionately on hands.

Apparently judge’s verdict has been misreported in the news. The reason judge issued a warrant against Gere is not because he kissed Shetty, but becuase Gere was not wearing a condom during these explicit sexual acts.

The truckers who gathered at the AIDS conference, were completely shocked by this promiscuity and had to seek psychological counseling

There is going to be a warrant against all parents in the country. Public display of their children is vulgar proof of their private sins.

A new investigation in the light of this judgment revealed that many people are in violation of obscenity law by carrying around phallic symbols such as umbrellas.

It baffled everybody what the judge meant by the statement, “[Shilpa Shetty] never restrained herself but kept inviting Gere for the kissing episode.” Our research team found that in several African tribal cultures giggling like an imbecile is construed as invitation for a kiss

Sources close to Shilpa Shetty informed us that Ms. Shetty’s legal team is preparing a strong case around the fact that Ms. Shetty, in fact, tried to restrain Mr. Gere by kicking him in the nads but was not successful because of her tight sari.

The top secret law behind issuing Aishrywa Rai summons because of the alleged obscenity in the movie Dhoom, even though there are several movies where women barely wear clothes, has been traced to these highly confidential pages of India Penal Code. Here is a photocopy:

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47 Responses to “Extra! Extra!”

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1 risha Apr 30th, 2007 at 1:39 am

LOL!! lovely post..i liked the pic you made and the IPS..ha ha ha every statement here is so hilarious There is going to be a warrant against all parents in the country. Public display of their children is vulgar proof of their private sins.
ha ha haha
2 nobody's devil Apr 30th, 2007 at 2:16 am

Too good TD…
3 Anisha Dutt Apr 30th, 2007 at 4:07 am

sahi hai!:D
4 asha Apr 30th, 2007 at 5:15 am

Never heard of “Nads” before!!:D:D:D

Richard Gere needs a cultural education or Therapy and some Indians needs to get brain transplants.Saree was too tight?! That’s a twinkie defence and hilarious!
5 Sakshi Apr 30th, 2007 at 6:14 am

Public display of their children is vulgar proof of their private sins.
ROFLMAO..
Hilarious. And I read the post wokay!!
6 Ravi Apr 30th, 2007 at 7:01 am

ROTFL … “because Gere was not wearing a condom during these explicit sexual acts.” …… Hahaha … Hilarious !!

This should be broadcasted in the news channels
7 Sushma Apr 30th, 2007 at 7:09 am

A good take on this episode, totally hilarious as expected from Brand TD
8 Alan Apr 30th, 2007 at 9:00 am

Hey Twisted,

Hilarious post as always.

I’ve been contemplating a similar post on the subject, but you beat me to it. Oh well.
9 Alan Apr 30th, 2007 at 9:14 am

If the entire country of India is all up in arms about this, imagine how pissed off Mrs. Gere must be.
10 Manasi Apr 30th, 2007 at 10:55 am

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Love ur post! especially ‘Public display of their children is vulgar proof of their private sins’ … imagine making a mountain of a molehill when u have Mallika Sherwat displaying herself in what can be called less than ‘ pav sher kapda’… along with new wannabes joining in!!
11 Pallavi Apr 30th, 2007 at 8:43 pm

I like your bullet point images..hehe
12 Jeremiah May 1st, 2007 at 8:34 am

hey dude…awesome post man..got wind of this blog thru my best friend..never regretted a single minute reading them..hahaa..take care yo..
13 Strider May 1st, 2007 at 9:53 am

LOL!
the last one was the best!
14 Gauri May 1st, 2007 at 3:42 pm

rofl@public display of their children….HILARIOUS, that!

Hey, you should have parental control on this post - or at least have a licence agreement that only 18 adults are able to read it. All it takes is a button saying “yes I’m over 18″.

-g (and yes, I’m over 18)
15 AgonyAunt May 1st, 2007 at 9:16 pm

I think this is the heights of hypocrisy. I’d like to know how these judges explain our more than 1 billion population or the worship of the lingam.
Of course, I think Gere was a bit silly to go on a kissing spree on an AIDS campaign. But they’ve done nothing that justifies arrest.

ps- loved the part about Shetty kicking him in the nads and her tight saree
16 Srikanth May 1st, 2007 at 11:27 pm

Good one.
May be your investigative journalists should try to educate lay men(lay women as well)
to explain the top secret laws/sub laws/exceptions/… which Rakhi Sawant might be using to get away from far more “henious” crime than this…
17 munimma May 2nd, 2007 at 2:17 pm

Please to standby for lawsuit from Judge G - you just committed a heinous crime by bloggin thus!
18 Lavs May 2nd, 2007 at 10:11 pm

Too hilarious for words……
19 Life Lover May 2nd, 2007 at 10:20 pm

good job with the IPC pic, it looks soo real, hmmmmm, maybe it is LOL!
20 mommyof2 May 3rd, 2007 at 12:55 pm

good one:-) saree was tight but what happerned to her hands? She should’ve slaped him instead of saying “thoda sa jada ho gaya”..
21 nz May 3rd, 2007 at 3:09 pm

Hahaha, loved your twisted take on the Shetty-Gere episode

The post made me smile, as usual
22 Sushama May 4th, 2007 at 1:29 pm

OMG!! this is totally hilarious! Gere not wearing a condom!!HUh…I didnt know such dumb(est)! guy ever existed.
Fun man!
23 Twisted DNA May 5th, 2007 at 1:38 am

risha:

i liked the pic you made and the IPS

Thanks for notcing my photoshop skills Glad you liked the post

nobody’s devil:

Thanks, ma’am

Anisha Dutt:

Welcome! Hope you liked your stay here

asha:

Never heard of “Nads” before

LOL. Now that’s something I can add to my claims… “This blog will teach you new (albiet off-color) words!”

Richard Gere needs a cultural education or Therapy

He needed therapy since the time he agreed to do “Runaway bride” and yes he needs some cultural counsling!

Sakshi:

And I read the post wokay!

LOL! You will never stop teasing me about my last post, will yoU?

Ravi:

This should be broadcasted in the news channels

Well, if you look at the news, they have more hilarious and real stuff

Sushma:

I can always count on you to make my day
24 Twisted DNA May 5th, 2007 at 1:39 am

Alan:

I’ve been contemplating a similar post on the subject

Please post! I am sure you can come up with pretty good stuff!

Alan:

imagine how pissed off Mrs. Gere must be

LOL, ya. you should definitely do the post on it!

Manasi:

less than ‘ pav sher kapda’

What? Where? Where? Ahem (composing himself) Yes you are right

Pallavi:

I like your bullet point images

Dude, if the post sucked, just say it When people say things like “I liked the bullet images,” “I liked the paragraph spacing” etc., it measn they didn’t like the actual content

Jeremiah:

.got wind of this blog thru my best friend

Pass me your friend’s info, I will personally thank him/her and make be get him/her to pass on the word to more peopoe

Glad you liked the blog!

Strider:

:) Thanks!
25 Twisted DNA May 5th, 2007 at 1:52 am

Gauri:

All it takes is a button saying “yes I’m over 18″

You know, that’s actually a better way to generarte more traffic

AgonyAunt:

You pretty much nailed it. Gere was insensitive to culture but it is still not that big of a deal. We are just making ourself look stupid in the world by reacting like this. You don’t know how many non-Indains I had to explain to that this India is not generally this conservative!

Srikanth:

(lay women as well)

Tell me the truth, did you recently take a “Sexual harrasment” or “Gender equality” class at work?

top secret laws/sub laws/exceptions/… which Rakhi Sawant

It’s not a secret. Everything is out in the open

munimma:

ou just committed a heinous crime by bloggin thus

ROFL! You are right. Jusr referring to an obscene incident is obscene!

Lavs:

Too hilarious for words…

Thanks so much!

Life Lover:

it looks soo real

My photoshop skills paying off!!

mommyof2:

saree was tight but what happerned to her hands

Her hands were too busy counting number of front-page news items she is going to be mentioned in!

nz:

twisted take

I don’t know any other Glad you liked it.

Sushama:

Welcome to the blog! Glad you liked the post!
26 Harish May 5th, 2007 at 10:08 pm

U could have instead got them to stand them in a row and slap them
Too Good
27 OrangeJammies May 6th, 2007 at 8:31 am

TD! You’re back! So good to see you back in blogging action ! ;0)
28 isha May 6th, 2007 at 5:28 pm

i dont get it?!
29 Mosi Lager May 6th, 2007 at 6:41 pm

Apparently the first description of kissing was in the Vedas. Are we to turn our backs on our traditions in this Kalyug?
30 Gomathy May 7th, 2007 at 1:18 am

Good post with a very impressive picture..!!!
31 Melody May 7th, 2007 at 4:53 am

A little late, but loved the post nevertheless. Came back into the country & saw the “controversies” which were all the news - this one, Mandira’s sari etc. & I still cannot believe that in a 3 world country with ample real problems that these are the things people in power - judicial or media - choose to speak out about.

Like I said to someone recently, when dealing with these circuses, sarcasm is the only way to go.

PS: Hope you’re doing great!
32 void May 8th, 2007 at 2:44 am

‘collection of porn tapes that exclusively consist of people kissing passionately on hands.’

ROTFL.. I cant stop laughing!
33 sam May 9th, 2007 at 5:58 am

hey……. arrest vatsayana!! dats teh guy they want… ;D he was the one to pen it all down for us to read!!
34 Sneha May 9th, 2007 at 6:00 am

Haha! Hilarious. Almost as hilarious as the actual event and all the hoopla around it!
35 chandni May 10th, 2007 at 1:25 am

just when i think u’re at ur funniest best, you come up with a new one!!

hilarious!
36 Gautam Gurijala May 10th, 2007 at 8:28 pm

Wish you a very happy birthday!!!!

-Gautam.
37 perspective inc May 11th, 2007 at 9:07 am

LOL!! This was just brilliant!
38 Rohini May 12th, 2007 at 10:37 am

A brilliant way to show the entire situation for how ridiculous it is…
39 The Mahathma May 13th, 2007 at 12:49 am

i keep following ur posts thro links on my cousins pages ! must admit they are right up there with the best humor ive come across! Gere not wearing a condom was the best :p .. IPC 3341 .. bwahahaha! tht was crazy bro!
40 lalitha May 13th, 2007 at 1:32 am

lol… thats hilarious…
41 Archana May 13th, 2007 at 8:33 pm

That’s hilarious - CNN International was still covering it nonstop as of Monday or Tuesday…
42 Twisted DNA May 14th, 2007 at 10:06 pm

Harish:

U could have instead got them to stand them in a row and slap them

Touch Shilpa and bring warrant upon myself? no no

Thanks for stopping by

OrangeJammies:

TD! You’re back!

Now that you mention it, it has been a while since I posted I need to
be more regular

isha:

i dont get it?!

For most people it takes a couple of tequila shots to make sense of what
I am saying Oh wait, you are way too young for it!

Mosi Lager:

LOL. You will be sued for using kiss and vedas in the same sentence

Gomathy:

very impressive picture

Thank you thank you! My photoshop skills are getting better these days

Melody:

sarcasm is the only way to go

Well, that is the only way I know how to talk

I am doing great, thanks for asking!
43 Twisted DNA May 14th, 2007 at 10:08 pm

void:

Thank you! You seem to be the only one who got that specific joke

sam:

arrest vatsayana

If Vatsayana were living now, he would’ve had a warrant for every page
he wrote

Sneha:

Almost as hilarious as the actual event

LOL. Yes. Truth is funnier than fiction

chandni:

just when i think u’re at ur funniest best

Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I try my best. I am not always
producing my best but I do try

Gautam Gurijala:

I should’ve said a couple of days ago, but same to you

perspective inc:

Thank you

Rohini:

the entire situation for how ridiculous i

Exactly… I find these things so laughable I can think of nothing but
sarcasm!

The Mahathma :

i keep following ur posts thro links on my cousins pages
I owe a lot to your cousins I got introduced to wonderful people like Ryan, Megha and Anju through Karen!

must admit they are right up there with the best humor ive come across
Thank you very much! Encouragement always helps!

lalitha:

Hey there! Thank you.

Archana:

CNN International was still covering it
Ya, that’s what makes me mad about these things! We put aside all important things and persuade Shilpa Shetty’s kiss and Brittany’s bald (head, I mean).
44 Apy May 15th, 2007 at 3:29 am

OMG.. That was incredibly hilarious.. especially.. IPC part…
45 The Mahathma May 15th, 2007 at 6:47 am

but be careful though! they are al crazy!
46 the mad momma May 18th, 2007 at 9:10 pm

oh boy… i dont stop by for a few days and come back to a riot!! glad to see two posts… and hey.. you really must blog more often!
47 just like that Jul 18th, 2007 at 1:54 am

LOL at public display of private sins. Hilarious post!

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