So everybody heard about the heinous crimes of Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere. You probably only heard what the newspapers reported so far. But our excellent team of investigative journalists at Twisted News dug deep into this matter and uncovered dark secrets and hidden truths!
Judge Gupta who declared Gere’s acts, “highly sexually erotic” has been found to own a collection of porn tapes that exclusively consist of people kissing passionately on hands.
Apparently judge’s verdict has been misreported in the news. The reason judge issued a warrant against Gere is not because he kissed Shetty, but becuase Gere was not wearing a condom during these explicit sexual acts.
The truckers who gathered at the AIDS conference, were completely shocked by this promiscuity and had to seek psychological counseling
There is going to be a warrant against all parents in the country. Public display of their children is vulgar proof of their private sins.
A new investigation in the light of this judgment revealed that many people are in violation of obscenity law by carrying around phallic symbols such as umbrellas.
It baffled everybody what the judge meant by the statement, “[Shilpa Shetty] never restrained herself but kept inviting Gere for the kissing episode.” Our research team found that in several African tribal cultures giggling like an imbecile is construed as invitation for a kiss
Sources close to Shilpa Shetty informed us that Ms. Shetty’s legal team is preparing a strong case around the fact that Ms. Shetty, in fact, tried to restrain Mr. Gere by kicking him in the nads but was not successful because of her tight sari.
The top secret law behind issuing Aishrywa Rai summons because of the alleged obscenity in the movie Dhoom, even though there are several movies where women barely wear clothes, has been traced to these highly confidential pages of India Penal Code. Here is a photocopy: