When I was growing up in India, I used to wonder why there was no Spiderman in India. Now I think I know why. Here is why Spiderman cannot survive in India:
- He keeps touching the open electric wires and getting nearly electrocuted
- 120°F and 100% humidity. Imagine wearing a skin-tight spandex suit with a hood
- That cheap Spider-suit he bought on the sidewalks of Mumbai keeps ripping off at uncomfortable places at inconvenient times
- It’s very hard to focus on the task at hand with all those stray dogs chasing him
- Since Peter Parker is a non-Indian name, he has to use some ridiculous name like “Pavitr Prabhakarâ€
- Vishwa Hindu Parishad and Shiv sena put pressure on him to change the color of his costume to Saffron
- Some fringe religious groups that worships spiders will get the government to ban taking spider’s name in vain. Since it is impossible to find an animal/insect that is not worshipped in India, Spiderman will have to go with lower life forms like “Hydra man†or “Entamoeba histolytica manâ€
- In the slum areas of the big cities that have no buildings, Spiderman will be reduced to using a bicycle for transportation. It’s neither easy nor glamorous fighting bad guys on a bicycle.
- There will be protests against the obscenity of his skin-tight suit with dubious bulges
- Frequently gets tangled in kids’ kites and gets sworn at by the pissed off kids
- Those Diwali rockets are a pain in the ass, literally
I stumbled on this Wikipedia article recently. Apparently there was an attempt at Indianizing Spiderman in a series of Comic books. The names they chose are hilarious:
Peter Parker – Pavitr Prabhakar
Mary Jane – Meera Jain
Uncle Ben – Uncle Bhim
Aunt May – Aunt Maya
Norman Osborn – Nalin Oberoi
Harry Osborn – Hari Oberoi
Yeah I read about PP a couple of months back. Has the idea been shelved?? I think “cockroach man” would be really cool don’t you? I mean roaches survived Hiroshima and Nagasaki didn’t they??
hehehe… good one.
Some of the Electric Poles in big cities are such a mish mash of wires, that you wonder – how the Electricians know which wire is headed where !
LOL! This one is just sooooooooo damn funny! Was in splits reading it & they r quite true as well!
Lame attempt at humour!!
-aby
lol!!
That was real funny!!!! You have an art of writing it and you did it again….
You never know if someone claims spider as god and poor spiderman can never make tricks against god.
I had read about Pavitr Prabhakar a while ago too – if I remember some of the sketches right, spidey no longer had tights on the bottom, but a dhoti!
Btw, you’ve been tagged…
it is funny and i agree
haha.. good one!! also wonder how they would interpret the song “spiderman, spiderman, friendly neighborhood spiderman” and as for those tights protests, maybe spiderman could protest against the free-flowing dhotis!! at least tights don’t show as much skin.
He wouldn’t survive either…He’s probably end up shooting dice and become a reggaeton Star…On second thought…
He might just survive.
Especially if he started singing Reggaeton..bright future ahead spidey ..
*scoffs*
yeah, hinduism will be def. be hurt…really funny!
ha ha! Good one! I have to say though, even though we dont have a spiderman, thank god we dont have batman. Dun like bats.
Check justads for a pleasant update
well we already have our own hero…thankfully not a rip off! hahaha…hanuMAN
there u go…a cultural history that kicks “ass” even in this era
ROFL! Quality mate
:) tnxxx!
**It’s very hard to focus on the task at hand with all those stray dogs chasing him
hahahahaha!
**Pavitr Prabhakar
thats is soooooo funny!
:)
Keshi.
Great one again
.. LOL
ha ha LOL
my favourite- Spiderman will have to go with lower life forms like “Hydra man†or “Entamoeba histolytica manâ€
ha ha lol, the hindi tune of spiderman dubbed version on cartoon network goes ’spiderman spiderman, hamara apna dost spiderman…….’
The Inquisitive Akka:
LOL@cockroach man. Ya, Let’s hope nobody objects to that
Indian – Lets make Progress:
Ya, really! If you look at those elecricians in barefoot fixing things, it’s very scary!
Has to be me:
Thank you very much!
Cardamom:
Tell me something I don’t know
mommyof2:
Thank you!
priya:
You are so kind. Thank you for the compliments
Nee:
LOL@dhoti! Can you imagine somebody jumping buildings in a dhoti!
The tag will be done, soon, I hope.
La Vida Loca:
Thanks buddy
Shilpa:
Ya, that dhoti thing is enough to send Spidey running back into hiding.
I don’t know how the song translates, but however it translates there will be a song and dance scene with 20 women dressed as spiders
Mary Poppins:
LOL. Imagine Spidey doing Reggaetón in full costume. People would definitely pay to see that
Pallavi:
Thanks
video:
Ya! I can’t imagine how they thought of batman. Those creatures are not knowing for anything special other than hanging upside down and hearing altrasonics.
Prasad:
Oh my god! Where did you find Bajaj one! It was so nostalgic to hear that song again!
Darshini:
Cool. “hanu-man” I never thought of it that way.
Keshi:
Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks mate
Sush:
Thank you
itchingtowrite:
He he he. Thanks. I hope you didn’t figure out the hidden joke in “Entamoeba histolytica”. I mean you don’t know where they are found, do you?
Cyberkitty:
Oh, I didn’t know it got dubbed into Hindi. It’s always funny to watch Western cartoons or movies dubbed into Hindi
hilarious…yes i read about the indian spider man peter prabhakar or similar
wonder what they’ll think of next
You forgot one thing….
Spiderman would be continuously threatened by the following people.
1. Crazy Clerics issuing fatwas against him for flying around in a spider-costume (These guys can deem anything as unislamic)
2. Animal-rights’ activists who would think that spiderman is insulting the spider by acting like a man, thereby robbing the spider of its natural habitat
i repeat ..you are completely jobless!!! but i loved it anyway…
hehe. lovely post! very creative!
made me laugh!! 
what’s your email id?
That was hilarious.Now I know why there can never be an indian spiderman.
..the 120 temp with the 100% humidity would be enough for me to not want to fight crime…
everyone would have to fend for themselves..
I don’t think I would make a good superhero.
just sayin’.
well, unless I can be, “Boob Girl” then I am all for fighting crime. Less clothing, more interesting crimes..
This is gud.
Ultimate man! Thats too funny! you really kept me laughing so hard!
btw why dun call him SpiderSubramaniam LOL!
Keshi.
no clue.. enlighten me if it is not “flag” worthy….
Aqua:
Let’s hope they think of something original rather than copying
Anonymous:
ROFL@fatwa, ya didn’t think of that!
Well, since animal rights do not technically cover the spiders, they will start a new People of Ethical Treatment of Insects (PETI)
the mad momma:
He he he. Idle man’s brain is devil’s blog-shop.
Harini:
Thank you
starry nights:
Thanks
Party Girl:
LOL@Boob Girl. What is her super power? Stunning people
How do we know:
Thanks
indianangel:
Glad you enjoyed it!
Keshi:
LOL. Didn’t think of that either. Thinking about it now, it’s more appropriate to call him SpiderMani
itchingtowrite:
Didn’t get it. What is “flag worthy?”
ROFL
just can’t stop laughing at this one…
ROTFL! Just plain brilliant!
how do u cook up such hilarious stuff pal!!!
I am rolling on the floor still!
Hilarious!
thats hilarious esp the name section…well if spiderman to wear that tight fitting out fit, he will most probably suffer from heat stroke…. peter parker= beta prabakar… haha..
Thats hilarious! I can’t believe they did print an indianized version of Spider-main.
LOL that made me laugh!
the flag button on the blog which u hit if the content is objectionable.
This is hilarious.. I loved the part about distraction by being chased by stray dogs..right on.. come to think of it, we can imagine the same scenario for ALL _____wood movie heroes too! Imagine Chiranjeevi chasing the bad guy and a skeletal white dog with black spots and raggedy tail incessantly barking and chasing him!!
the sunflower:
Welcome here. Thanks
Prespective Inc:
Hey nice to see you. Thank you so much.
chandni:
cooking up is easy, the actual cooking is somehting I can’t master
Rohini:
“Hilarious!”
If mama says so
my life…:
Hey welcome back to blog world.
LOL@beta prabhakar
Swapna:
“can’t believe they did print an indianized version of Spider-main.”
I would’ve been surprised but when I was in India last time I saw those Hollywood dubbed moives with ridiculous names. NOthing surpises me any more:)
Becky:
Hey! Nice to see you here. Thanks for the comment.
itchingtowrite:
Hmmm.. so you think the content is objectionable? Care to elaborate?
Dangy:
“incessantly barking and chasing him”
LOL. Thinking Chiru like that is hilarious. Now imagine Brahmanandam in the same position, only he keeps talking back to the dog.
btw buddy if you want to know what REAL humour is…read THIS… i hope much of the doubt in your mind would be cleared up!!
T-DNA, It’s really funny ! Thanks for your Imagination & sense of humour ,it did make me visualize an Indian spiderman with Saffron costume cycling around
enjoyed reading with a hearty laugh….:)
haha. good one
even better is the chiru and brahmanandam chase with a dalmatian in the mix.
Funny stuff as always. Krrish is my hero.
ROFLZZ @Spidermani!
hahahaha Im laughing soooo much here my stomach hurts!!
keshi.
cardamom:
“if you want to know what REAL humour is…read THIS”
And that links to your blog? My, my. Modest is not our forte, is it?
Lera:
Thanks for stopping by.
Don’t forget the dhoti
rads:
Hey, welcome!
he he he. Hmmm, Telugu eh?
Alan:
I hope you wont mind if I take a couple of shots at some point 
Krrish, hmmm, I have been sparing him so far
Keshi:
Howdy! I am so happy that you like the stuff!
it was in response to your smug “tell me something i don’t know
”…and the previous comment was an 100% honest one…i mean how can anybody start rolling on the floor reading this stuff,hehehe the comments were more humorous than the post…buddy your previous posts are better…chill
ok..happy b’day to me- i have figured out the entamoeba histolityca bit- i mean where it’s found.. & the answer is not flagworthy…
itchingtowrite:
Damn, I was so stupid. I didn’t get it when you said “flag worthy.” Now I got it! So you figured out, huh
Hey, the idea of spiderman must have come from Hanu man, the original .
and besides our film stars keep doing that stunts in all the films!!
You touched the 5o mark. A first. Not a last I wish for your blog.
Hmmm, Telugu eh?
I’d like to think 100% but let me not kid myself.
)
twisted dna, that was funny. And so are your earlier blogs
Dang, this bloghopping is addictive …
LOL, wow =P MuCh LuV
Spiderman with sweaty armpits just doesn’t seem to be a good idea somehow.
So funny…I liked Spidermani idea
…
prakash:
Thanks! Ya, bloghopping is quite addictive!
quz boss:
Thanks for stopping by!
trudling grunt:
Haha! No it doesn’t seem like a good idea
dumbdodi:
Thanks Radhika. Glad you liked it.
My god!!Ws this ur creation?????
Why do I call u DN????I think I should call u TD…but DN sounds cuter!
heh heh heh, very funny!! PP on a bicycle..heh heh..can’t stop laughing
lol funny
Hey…i am not into blogs..my frnd wanted me to go through some of them and she forwarded me this link… and I must say you have a way with words…u got me addicted! This is really hilarious… !!
there is a temple for Dogs also, i saw that in sme news channel! if your Kid has some serious health probs, make a dip in the adjoining pool.. and wooooff! he will be fine
thenI didn’t read abt prabhakar sahab at all. thanks 4 letting me know..
lov this one TD!!
Man!
i Love spidey!
he is better off where he is rather than in India!