2006 September at Twisted DNA

Archive for September, 2006

Itsy Bitsy Indian Spider

When I was growing up in India, I used to wonder why there was no Spiderman in India. Now I think I know why. Here is why Spiderman cannot survive in India:

He keeps touching the open electric wires and getting nearly electrocuted
120°F and 100% humidity. Imagine wearing a skin-tight spandex suit with a […]

63 Comments September 25th, 2006

Those sexy, supple, white things

(You heard about stuffing a turkey. Have you heard about “Guest stuffing?” It is a well known phenomenon for anybody who grew up in India. Forcing the guest to eat until the guest is an inch from throwing up is considered a hostly thing to do. Leaving any food that the […]

54 Comments September 19th, 2006

Banana Ice Mist

I saw this product at a local produce store.

If I add everything, what do I need the mix for?

32 Comments September 12th, 2006

Curse-co

If I had to list all the places I hate to go to, Costco comes only second to public urinals in Indian train stations. It is as if everything about Costco is designed to make you hate yourself for being a cheapo to go there in the first place. But you have no […]

44 Comments September 12th, 2006

Tadget gag

Anuradha tagged me with the Gadget tag. The rules are simple, you need to talk about 3 fantasy gadgets you would like to have and tag more people.
When I was young, I wouldn’t have to think for a second what gadgets I want. I would’ve told you in one breath: water-to-wine-converter, 2000-hour-TiVo and a […]

40 Comments September 6th, 2006

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Passing Thoughts

[+] Two girls scouts are protesting girl scout cookies because they say they are endangering some species. If you looked at the nutrition information of the cookies they sell, you would agree that one of the endangered species is mankind. [0 comments]

[+] According to this news item the definition of rape has been widened. If a woman refuses sex in the middle of the act, the rest of the act is considered rape. I guess she can re-accept sex making it consensual again. Don’t be surprised if you see criminal cases with the following description: “She went to his place at 8:00PM. They had coffee. They had sex from 8:30PM to 8:54PM. He raped her from 8:55PM to 9:01PM. Then she reluctantly agreed to sex. So, technically, he partially raped her from 9:02PM to 9:15PM. They both had dinner. Later they had sex after he briefly raped her.” [3 comments]

[+] Pentagon admitted that they accidentally shipped missile parts to Taiwan. Be assured that US is not in the business of selling arms. It might so happen that Taiwan may accidentally ship some money to US in the future. Who knows what accidents happen. [1 comment]

[+] Sarah Jessica Parker is whining that she won the “Unsexiest Woman Alive” award from Maxim readers. If you ask me, she should be quite glad that she didn’t win the “Unsexiest Horse” award. [2 comments]

[+] A new-born rhinoceros in Kenya has been named “Kofi Annan” after the former UN Secretary General. Mr. Annan has been making phone calls since morning to figure out if that is meant as an honor or insult. [5 comments]