El Amigo Loco
Published August 31st, 2006
If any application form asks “Any disabilities?” most men should put down “Cooking.” A majority of us, me included, can’t make hot water without instructions. So when one such culinary Neanderthal friend of mine started a phone conversation with “So I tried to cook,” I knew the ending would involve fireworks.
This friend, who moved to the US recently, has been a lavish patron of local restaurants. In a moment of hallucination he thought he could cook and bought one of those gourmet frozen chickens.
The instructions looked simple enough:
- Preheat the oven to 400F
- Cook for 45 minutes
So our friend followed the instructions, started the cooking and popped into the shower expecting to be enveloped by aromas of delicious chicken by the time he was out. In about 20 minutes, his olfactory senses were assaulted by the smell of a dead bird burning. Promptly followed by some smoke seeping in from under the bathroom door and high pitched smoke-alarm, for added effect.
As our friend streaked out and retrieved the ashes of the cremated bird, he realized the mistakes he made. Here are the lessons he learned from the experience:
- When the instructions include seemingly non-English words such as “preheat” don’t just skip over them.
- When the instructions say “oven” don’t automatically assume it meant Microwave oven
33 Responses to “El Amigo Loco”
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Lol!!!
lol…my sister made that “preheat” mistake once…I always use trial and error method where microwave ovens are concerned!helps most of the time:)
LOL…great story
Well we had such an incident with Mozzarella Cheese Sticks in the Microwave. Only, we managed to burn the oven as well
i luuvvve cooking klut stories……ohh those days of burnt sambar, charred chapatis and over cooked,under salted what not!!
I bet el pollo loco wasn’t too impressed either. Make sure you grab a bite before going to visit your friend—might be safest.
LOL!
Oh, good Lord.
Okay, I really thought it was going to involve platic wrap or something, like he forgot to take it out of the package.
Putting a bird in the microwave for 45 minutes? Mmmmm, good burnt bird.
Oh my gosh! those were hilarious mistakes for the kitchen. I know a couple of girls who left for college with premixed coffee powder, powdered milk and sugar. So all they needed to add was the water. Now that’s for the cooking illiterate, u have to admit!
Good one. Cooking ain’t so easy always.
LOL! Hope he wasn’t desperate enough to eat what was left of the bird!
lol!!! u dont even kow how many girls wud be grateful for tht advice (i for one)…heehee…
thanks for helping me save the recipie i havent tried yet ;p
Hehe… i can imagine the smoked chicken or rather burned chicken lol!! ^_^ for sure he won’t touch anything in kitchen again
… i admired guys who can cook ^_^ not the one who make fire
thanx for droppin’ by on my blog TDNA
… enjoy weekend!
cheers,
-kathy-
Cooking is for chix.
www.crashtestcomic.com
you cant boil water? how did you pass chemistry?
Sush, dumbdodi, jamie:
Thanks guys.
yashita:
True about trial and error. We bought a new microwave and it took me a while to figure out how to make coffee again
anu:
Haha! Did you microwave them for an hour or something?
la vida loca:
you almost wrote my biography
jay are:
To be really safe, I should probably take him some so he wouldn’t try to cook while I am there
party girl:
Yes, chicken really really well done
video:
Pre-mixed coffee, powdered milk and sugar? Now that’s being prepared. Were you one of them?
priya:
ain’t easy? It’s impossible most of the times, at least for me
nee:
LOL! I should check with him. I won’t be surprised if he did!
pri:
Haha. If you want to learn from others’ cooking mistakes, I am the only one you will ever need to talk to. I made ‘em all
lil_kath:
How can you imagine Kath? Any stories in your past we should know?
shreemoyee:
You missed the “wihtout instructions” part. Chemistry lab did come with instructions.
That is a disability if you dont know how to cook. I am sure he learnt from that mistake.
well in that case i guess that i am an exception…cause the last time i popped that frozen bird into the ‘oven’ it actually smelled aromatically right and even tasted quite delicious…and yes, it wasn’t beginer’s luck!!
;)
LOL
that’s funny…and it’s pretty rich of me to laugh at your poor friend becoz i’m a terrible cook myself.
I can just about boil water and make omelettes
Thats scary! Thank God nothing happened to him!
lol
Link this to your idiotproofing post;-D
Btw Nice blog..
That was just hilarious. I am not much of cook myself but I can follow a recipe pretty well. And if there is a word in there I cannot understand, well that’s what long distance calls to my mother are for…
:)
ROFLZZ! OMG I laughed so much reading this! tnxxx so much for this post today mate cos I just needed it. Im not in the greatest of moods today so yeah this was a treat lol!
**In a moment of hallucination he thought he could cook
hahahahaha!
**cremated bird
lolllz!
Gosh u write so funny and I love reading ur posts
:) TY!
btw I hope ur friend still loves chicken.
Keshi.
lol…too funny, and well written
hey..
dont lump all men together.. its a mistake i could have made.. and one that my cousin (female) made too. i guess women in our family should just leave the kitchen to the men who truly belong in it :p
by the way..why is there a star near my name in your blog roll?
Hilarious!!!!
Poor bird…poor gourment chicken..cremated in a microwave!!
Thats what I call burnt smoke chicken!
And its ok..its always the recipes fault…see in my case also, it was the recipes fault..otherwise I am not so bad a cook!
very witty
hehe…yeah somewhat
and pls. dun ask what happened lol!! ^_^
starry nights:
Yes, he learnt not to try to cook again
nachi:
You do sound like an exception. That comment should definitely go on your personals ad
aqua:
”
“I can just about boil water and make omelettes
You are still better than me
indianangel:
He was shaken from the experience but he sounded OK
You know, I actually didn’t bother to ask him if he was OK
mommyof2:
LOL! I didn’t think of that. Yes, this post sounds like an extension of idiot-proofing
rohini:
Haha. You are right. I have seen these long distance cooking lessions in action before… hell I tasted them before
tarini:
Thanks for visiting!
keshi:
Hey thanks so much for that comment. Ya, he still loves chicken, cooked by others
varsha:
Thank you thank you
the mad momma:
“dont lump all men together”
Not all me. Hence the qualifie “most men”
“i guess women in our family should just leave the kitchen to the men who truly belong in it”
Also known as made for each other
“why is there a star near my name in your blog roll?”
It means your blog has an update in the past day or so. It’s an option in the blogroll settings.
mary poppins:
I hope he prayed for it’s soul’s peace after the cremation
neha:
Exactly, that’s what I tell people. If recipies are for people who can cook well, then what is the need for recipies?
artnavy:
Thanks!
lil_kath:
Haha! I will wait for them to be posted on your blog
OMG
a croissant for a 1:15 (one minute and 15 seconds) .. dear aunty’s kitchen burned down.. she wasnt happy ..