I name thee *bleep*

We all giggle behind the backs of Asians with funny names, like, “Phat Chin” or “Suk Mi.” But we, Indian-Americans, tend to be remiss when naming our own kids who are going to live in the US their whole life.

There is an immediate danger for kids with “lost in translation” names - the school bullies who infest the American school system. A brown skinned kid munching on chapattis is a target enough for these bullies. The doomed kid having a name from hell (or heaven, depending on which side of bullying you are on) is a cherry on top.

Consider the following names I heard recently. These kids are going to grow up in the US.

Harshit He is my friend’s son who is going to start school soon! What’s worse is that, some above average bullies, who actually learnt the alphabet, may be able to tweak his last name into “head.” These kids can quickly put two and two together - ok, they probably suck at math - but they can put the words together.
Gopi An innocent looking name that can be construed as a command to relieve oneself.
Asman On the bright side, if the kid wants to become a porn star, he won’t have to search for a stage name
Anal I kid you not! This is a real name.
Gayatri References to sexual orientation must be avoided in names too.
Sukdeep (I confess, I heard it on the Russell Peter’s show). If he had a brother, would he be called Sukdeeper?
Dipshita Man, she will be in some deep shit!
Atit He should change his name to more politically correct, “abreast”
Rashmi Pronounced as “Rush me”

Hopefully, nobody will name their kid “Fakrud.”

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10 Responses to “I name thee *bleep*”  

  1. 1 Deepa

    hehhehehee..i cant stop laughing…good one…

  2. 2 J. Alfred Prufrock

    Food for thought, indeed.

    Incidentally, I hated living in the USA and moved back home.

    J.A.P.

  3. 3 v_tel001

    lol! nice one
    మీ బ్లాగ్ బాగుంది

  4. 4 Casement

    LOL, You’ve become better than before. What all do you come up with?:))

  5. 5 Alan

    I’ve noticed a similar thing with movie names and wonder if they ever think about the English sounding equivalent. Dum and Jism are two that come to mind.

  6. 6 Julius Seizure

    I could add quite a few but am sleepy but here are two off the top of my head:

    Hardik - need I say more
    Pinal - anybody hear penile?
    Sagarika - Shagarika?

  7. 7 hardik and pinal

    Hey, great site. I came across it researching for stories on my new desi comic strip… ironically named with some terribly unfortunate desi names: hardik and pinal.

  8. 8 hardik and pinal

    I vote for hardik and pinal, an appropriate tile for a funny comic strip at http://hardikandpinal.com

  9. 9 Suki

    Noooo!!!!!!

    This is hilariously embarassing!

  1. 1 hardik and pinal » Blog Archive » bapuji and ma’s backups


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